Kellsey Posted September 20, 2016 Posted September 20, 2016 Saturday I broke up with my boyfriend of about 2 years. I'm heartbroken but a mutual friend told me he's acting like he doesn't care. I'm pretty sure that it's an act he's putting on but it still hurts to hear that. When I first met him I was just getting over a really miserable 12 year relationship with my child's father. All I wanted was a friend with benefits, but he pushed for more and eventually I decided to give it a try. I recently took off my rose colored glasses and realized that we are very different people. Although we both are very funny and have similar senses of humor, we are just polar opposites. I work full time, I'm going to school full time and I recognize that it's a necessary evil to have or work towards having a good career. He is 39 years old with fantasies of never needing to work for anyone again. He tries to put together events in the community but in the 2 years I have known him, none of his events are successful. I applaud his ambition but he needs a job until his events take off, if they ever do. So he got a minimum wage job after my incessant nagging but only brings home about $500 every 2 weeks...not good! He said he won't look for a better job because his events will be successful soon! He wants a baby since he doesn't have any children. I have a teenager so I'm really not interested in having more kids. I told him besides that, he cannot financially support a child. During our relationship I felt that he would take and take and take but never contribute. If he was coming over he would ask if I had wine, or if I cooked. If I said no, he never offered to pick anything up he would just expect me to run out and get wine for him or cook him something. I think the main reason I stayed with him was because I loved his sense of humor and I felt secure. My child's father cheated on me numerous times, but that's something I didn't feel like I had to worry about with him and that felt good. Anyway things came to a head this weekend. We went out with another couple and to make a long story short he left me and my friend at the bar stranded. He took my car and left us there because he was ready to go and I wasn't. I packed his stuff that he kept at my house and put it outside for him. I have not heard anything from him since then. As I'm writing this I'm starting to fully grasp that he did me a favor that night. He opened my eyes to the person that he really is. But it still hurts and I guess part of me wants to see that he cares and he's hurting the way that I am. I'm just very sad. Do men have a delayed reaction when it comes to breakups or do you think he doesn't care? How can I get past this? Any tips?
AT15 Posted September 20, 2016 Posted September 20, 2016 How old are you? 39 is a bit old to be on somebody ti77ies. I absolutely hate giving men money. I sincerely can not handle that. I think it's the bottom of the barrel kinda men who do that. And yes give him 6 to 8 weeks max, to come running back. Men do have a delay in emotional stuff. But... If you're free from a cheater why run to a broke dude? It sounds like you know he's a waste of time. He may not be at some point. But, are you willing to wait? 1
Author Kellsey Posted September 20, 2016 Author Posted September 20, 2016 I'm 33. When I first met him I had no intention of having anything serious with him..I guess he was my rebound so to speak. As things unfortunately were getting serious he convinced me he was going through a rough patch financially and to "hang in there" with him. Well 2 years later and nothing changed. You're right, it was going nowhere and I really need to be grateful I got out when I did. I woke up this morning without that nagging empty pit in my stomach. I think the reality of the situation is sinking in which is I'm really not missing much without him.
AT15 Posted September 20, 2016 Posted September 20, 2016 (edited) You may miss his company from time to time, but you're so young and beautiful I'm sure... Don't ever settle. In the long run its not worth it. Allow a man to spoil you. Gifts, dinners and travel... Why not? I used to model in my 20s, I was so afraid to go out enjoy the world and allow myself to be spoiled. I ended up marrying the guy I met when I was 21. In reality I just played it safe and chose security and comfort. I'm going for a divorce now and I'm feeling afraid to get out there again. But, I don't want to make the same mistake twice. Edited September 20, 2016 by AT15
Author Kellsey Posted September 20, 2016 Author Posted September 20, 2016 Thank you so much for your advice. I really appreciate it. I will miss his company and honestly that's about it. I know the dating world scares me which is why I settled with El mooch lol but you're right I should get out there and allow myself to be spoiled. You said like you have a good head on your shoulders and you will be just fine. Thanks again!
Recommended Posts