Too strong of an attraction on her side.. is it normal for me to feel insecure?

[thebiglimp]

i started dating this girl exclusively, and she seems to be moving things too fast and strong.

 

she had already hinted on making things exclusive the second date, which i just agreed to now, after a month together, and all the while she;s been showering me with extreme affection, making future plans, even hinting of marriage and kids.

 

now i know she's not playing any angles, and i believe her intentions are genuine.

 

but i can't help but to start feel insecure about myself from all her expectations of what i can be to her.

 

she's not holding me up any pedestal, no, but she expects me to be someone she can date long term without disappointments. and that alone is a scary challenge for me.

 

i do wanna succeed with her tho.

 

so what are some thoughts that could help me?

[smackie9]

ignore it and just be yourself. If you don't fulfill EVERY expectation that's ok she's just gonna have to compromise. Don't let her guilt you for anything. Don't worry being less available makes you more desirable.

[basil67]

Her expectations are unrealistic. Even the best partner will disappoint us on occasion.

 

I think it's worth pointing this out to her..

[Lansing]

I can related to your post. The last girl I dated seemed too into me too quickly and I was very cautious as a result of this. I guess I wanted to take things slower and have her get to know the real me instead of whatever image I felt like she was creating in her head. The reality is that as a result I didn't give her the attention she wanted/expected and that led to us breaking up. I wish that things had progressed at a more natural pace.

 

I don't know what to suggest but maybe you can communicate how you feel at this early stage to her and see how she reacts.

[kendahke]

i started dating this girl exclusively, and she seems to be moving things too fast and strong.

 

she had already hinted on making things exclusive the second date, which i just agreed to now, after a month together, and all the while she;s been showering me with extreme affection, making future plans, even hinting of marriage and kids.

 

now i know she's not playing any angles, and i believe her intentions are genuine.

 

but i can't help but to start feel insecure about myself from all her expectations of what i can be to her.

 

she's not holding me up any pedestal, no, but she expects me to be someone she can date long term without disappointments. and that alone is a scary challenge for me.

 

i do wanna succeed with her tho.

 

so what are some thoughts that could help me?

 

Find out first if she wants *you* or if she just wants any male body she can plug into the role of her boyfriend. Big difference.

 

I'd be extremely concerned with someone who was piling on these kinds of expectations at the two date mark. My question is: why are you so afraid to tell her that she needs to slow her roll?

 

You two barely know one another. She's expecting no disappointments. You're human--humans disappoint and fall short of the mark. When you end up being who you can't help being--you--will she be able to resist rejecting you or being disappointed with you?

 

The way things will succeed will be for both of you to take the time to figure out if the other really is the one you want to build something with. That doesn't happens in the span of 2 dates.