lostgirll Posted September 19, 2016 Posted September 19, 2016 Hey all, So my gf of 4.5 years dumped me a few days ago and left our apt. to move back to the state we originally lived in. the break up was very emotional, we were both crying hysterically, and all that jazz. her last reasoning for why she was doing this was because "she felt like she did not belong with me anymore", said that this was her "giving up" on us. then went on to say that she has a feeling that we will see each other again some day and maybe then we will be smarter and appreciate each other more. Anyways, the day she arrived back to our previous state, she texted me to say she landed safely. i said ok. then the next day she asks how im doing, and i answered i am ok. after that i realized that these texts are pointless. it just hurts me even more. so its been about 4 days that i have kept up NC, and she keeps texting me asking "are you ok", "just tell me that you are ok". obviously i am not, but its not like im suicidal either, which she probably thinks i am. Now the thing is I do want her back, and i love her more than anything, but i will not be chasing her anymore. Now my fear is if i don't respond at all, will she take it as me playing games, or being immature. and what if this whole NC backfires and she will disappear as will the chance for reconciliation? (we are both females if that makes any difference) 2
Michelle ma Belle Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 Tell her you are working on being fine but would appreciate NC for while so you can sort through the wreckage of your relationship. And for the record, going NC isn't a precursor to getting back together. People go NC so they can stop the bleeding, deal with the pain and try to move on again without their ex. It does not necessarily mean you will end up back together again. If your goal is to reunite with your partner then perhaps NC isn't what you want. 2
Satu Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 snip *Now my fear is if i don't respond at all, will she take it as me playing games, or being immature. and what if this whole NC backfires and she will disappear as will the chance for reconciliation? (we are both females if that makes any difference) *She would be right to draw that conclusion. Take care.
DrReplyInRhymes Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 snip *She would be right to draw that conclusion. Take care. Satu................... I don't see how she would be right to draw that conclusion from her ex, OP was broken up with, but is playing games if she decides to not respond to text? I understand about reconciliation, but chasing someone who already moved away??? She's admitted she gave up, I don't think chasing her would be healthy in anyway! However, Lord knows people do crazy things for the one they love. Who knows, maybe she wants you to fly after her and confess your undying love with all those "are you ok" texts?? 1
whatnot Posted September 27, 2016 Posted September 27, 2016 (edited) she asks how im doing, and i answered i am ok. after that i realized that these texts are pointless. it just hurts me even more. One thing you can do, the next time you speak (and you will if you do not go NC)....is to ask her, point blank...."Are you sure?" If her answer is "yes".....I know of no other way to begin healing than to stay away from her. This can be done with a text.... "Jane, I need to take some time for myself as well. If you text or try to get in touch with me, I will not respond.....Betty". no "I love you" no "I will always love you". No innuendo's .... no feelings whatsoever. Then block her number and all social media. (This was her decision, not yours). (but, now, if you do not want to break up with this woman, do not send this text). It got to a point with yours truly, I had to send it. good luck edit: I should add....it took years, and a lot of pain, for me to get to this point Edited September 27, 2016 by whatnot context 1
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