My ex- girlfriend is an escort and prostitute

[dreamingoftigers]

Trying to control someone Finances is abuse

Flirting with other people knowing it hurts their partner is abuse

trying to tell someone who they can hang out with is abuse

Yelling at someone at the top of their lungs is abuse

 

 

Cheating is also a form of abuse

 

 

Emotional Abuse: Definitions, Signs, Symptoms, Examples - HealthyPlace

 

 

Socially isolating an individual, failing to let them have visitors

Withholding important information

Demeaning an individual because of the language they speak

 

Ignoring or excessively criticizing

Being over-familiar and disrespectful

Unreasonably ordering an individual around; treating an individual like a servant or child

 

BINGO!

 

Now that you know what abuse is regarding your circumstance, remove your abuser.

[Nyman2016]

Yes this is abusive. Yes this is sick. I'm sure your self-esteem is decimated.

 

But here's one thing: this is a VERY OPEN SHUT CASE of "this person is not relationship material." AT ALL.

 

Like, I wouldn't encourage ANYONE to date her AT ALL.

 

And you shouldn't either.

 

Stop trying to be nice to her and making her feel wanted. Her behaviour is ridiculous and unwanted.

 

OF COURSE SHE IS PROSTITUTING HERSELF.

 

What exactly do you think Craigslist, whatsyourprice, and "sugar daddy" stuff is!!???!!?!

 

How old are you guys anyhow?

 

I am 28 and she is 23

[Nyman2016]

Wait wait.

 

Did I get this wrong?

 

You were BF/GF right?

 

Then she started doing a of this crap. You asked her to stop. She stuck around and didn't stop. Finally she dumped you (what a winner) and now you are having trouble unfriending her right?

 

You should have 100% dumped her the second you discovered that she was on those sites. That's dumpable.

 

It doesn't make her LESS responsible for treating you like sht though.

 

in 2010 we were best friends, then I stopped talking to her because she was annoying and then like 6 years later we reconnected and went into a relationship, thats the reason why I am having a hard time, but yeah she used whatsyour price right in front of me, she told me she was not having sex with guys despite her status saying looking for no strings attached, she kept telling me she was not having sex with these guys.

[Nyman2016]

BINGO!

 

Now that you know what abuse is regarding your circumstance, remove your abuser.

 

I feel sad tho I dont know why like really depressed

[dreamingoftigers]

in 2010 we were best friends, then I stopped talking to her because she was annoying and then like 6 years later we reconnected and went into a relationship, thats the reason why I am having a hard time, but yeah she used whatsyour price right in front of me, she told me she was not having sex with guys despite her status saying looking for no strings attached, she kept telling me she was not having sex with these guys.

 

OK.

I get it.

 

But even GOING ON there and signing up is dumpable.

 

That is enough RIGHT THERE to say: "hey, you're disrespecting me. It's over."

 

Is it simple? Yes

 

Is it always easy? No.

 

But it is necessary unless you want to be some mean persons doormat forever.

 

I get it. I do. If you are a nice person who can be talked to about things, you expect the person you are with can be talked to about things too. But often people aren't that considerate. Especially if they think that you'll just take it.

[dreamingoftigers]

I feel sad tho I dont know why like really depressed

 

That's normal. First of all, being treated poorly hurts. But ending a relationship hurts terribly too.

 

BUT saying in it hurts worse over time and causes deep psychological damage

[Nyman2016]

That's normal. First of all, being treated poorly hurts. But ending a relationship hurts terribly too.

 

BUT saying in it hurts worse over time and causes deep psychological damage

 

For the past 3 days Ive been sitting in my bed doing nothing with the tv off

[Nyman2016]

I feel super depressed right now, I never open up to anyone or have sex with someone unless I love them, and now I feel like she took something away from me. =(

[SincereOnlineGuy]

websites (shes been using them for years) even tho I told her to stop using them

 

 

 

I can't understand how the guy who told someone what websites she can and cannot use is now crying "abuse" as if he's the victim here.

 

 

And just how many 17yo girls have a 22yo male as their mere friend ??

 

(end-of-college age with a high school girl)

 

 

 

Better yet, whyyyyyyyyyy was a 22yo male hovering around a 17yo female??? (rhetorical - we know the answer to this one in hindsight - er, we knew it then too)

 

 

 

It all adds up to something quite different than what we're expected to see here.

[Nyman2016]

I can't understand how the guy who told someone what websites she can and cannot use is now crying "abuse" as if he's the victim here.

 

 

And just how many 17yo girls have a 22yo male as their mere friend ??

 

(end-of-college age with a high school girl)

 

 

 

Better yet, whyyyyyyyyyy was a 22yo male hovering around a 17yo female??? (rhetorical - we know the answer to this one in hindsight - er, we knew it then too)

 

 

 

 

 

It all adds up to something quite different than what we're expected to see here.

 

 

WTH I am 28 and she is 23 diff situation, someone going on sugar daddy dates is one thing,

but it becomes another when u stop telling me which ones u are going on and staying at a guys house for 8 days

for photography work.

[JewelD]

WTH I am 28 and she is 23 diff situation, someone going on sugar daddy dates is one thing,

but it becomes another when u stop telling me which ones u are going on and staying at a guys house for 8 days

for photography work.

 

So you were cool with the sugar daddy dates as long as you knew which ones? Really. Sounds like you had more of a hooker/trick relationship rather than bf/gf. IJS.

[Nyman2016]

So you were cool with the sugar daddy dates as long as you knew which ones? Really. Sounds like you had more of a hooker/trick relationship rather than bf/gf. IJS.

 

I was never okay with it, I only allowed it because I loved her and knew her for so long, it seems like you are very one sided in this post based on past experiences.

I was never okay with her using the pay for date sites either, but I pretended that I was okay with it to appease her.

[JewelD]

I was never okay with it, I only allowed it because I loved her and knew her for so long, it seems like you are very one sided in this post based on past experiences.

I was never okay with her using the pay for date sites either, but I pretended that I was okay with it to appease her.

 

And you're playing both sides of the fence. You act like she was this horrible person and yet here you are revealing that you actually gave her permission to do some of these things. How can you be mad at her for going on dates if you pretended to be okay with it?

 

That's what I meant by you allowing her to treat you that way. If you give someone permission to do things that hurt you, they're going to do them. If you really don't like what someone is doing, you have to be assertive. If they decide to do it anyway, you have to end it. Otherwise you will be in a lot of unhealthy relationships.

[Nyman2016]

And you're playing both sides of the fence. You act like she was this horrible person and yet here you are revealing that you actually gave her permission to do some of these things. How can you be mad at her for going on dates if you pretended to be okay with it?

 

That's what I meant by you allowing her to treat you that way. If you give someone permission to do things that hurt you, they're going to do them. If you really don't like what someone is doing, you have to be assertive. If they decide to do it anyway, you have to end it. Otherwise you will be in a lot of unhealthy relationships.

 

she knows I was mad because we got into fights about it where I was upset, after weeks and weeks of me telling her I did not like it I gave up and acted like I was ok with it, she knew I was not tho

[fromheart]

I feel super depressed right now, I never open up to anyone or have sex with someone unless I love them, and now I feel like she took something away from me. =(

 

 

No, you gave it away. We must always be careful who we give to and what we give.

 

This young woman has a lot of problems and can't handle her own heart, let alone someone elses.

 

I say this time and time again to my friends and on this forum. If someone is not in a good place for a relationship, its insanity to pursue one with them.

 

For 90% of us, forming a relationship with a prostitute is not going to work. By all means have her as a friend, but if you experience attraction recognize that she is not presently relationship material.

 

Best thing now would be to block her, go NC and let yourself heal.

[Nyman2016]

No, you gave it away. We must always be careful who we give to and what we give.

 

This young woman has a lot of problems and can't handle her own heart, let alone someone elses.

 

I say this time and time again to my friends and on this forum. If someone is not in a good place for a relationship, its insanity to pursue one with them.

 

For 90% of us, forming a relationship with a prostitute is not going to work. By all means have her as a friend, but if you experience attraction recognize that she is not presently relationship material.

 

Best thing now would be to block her, go NC and let yourself heal.

 

 

 

its so hard tho, she lives 5 min from my house as well

[dreamingoftigers]

Every time you get down about her, do something to take care of yourself.

 

Part of why we end up in and stay in fcked up relationships is that we don't take care of ourselves.

 

Get yourself up, hit a gym, go for a walk, buy yourself something you've wanted for awhile.

 

Think "what would I be doing if I cared about myself right now?" And then do it.

 

It's hard at first because the limbic system innyiur brain can take up to six months to fully heal from an injury of this nature. So BE KIND to yourself. Know that it may seem bleak now because our brains like to fool us and say "X person was THE ONLY ONE." And then your brain keeps you looking and waiting for THAT ONLY ONE to appear.

 

But it's actually not true. Your brain is capable of fully attaching to someone else that's healthier down the line. And there are lots of unbroken girls who won't cheat and prostitute themselves would who love a caring and loyal man (there's a shortage!)

 

Right now hour brain has suffered a loss & injury. Human being don't tend to see very clearly right after an upheaval like that.

 

Eat some greens, watch a movie.

 

I know it is so so so so hard.

 

I once stayed in bed for close to a week and lived off of a box of granola bars that were next to it. (That was the worst).

[Nyman2016]

Every time you get down about her, do something to take care of yourself.

 

Part of why we end up in and stay in fcked up relationships is that we don't take care of ourselves.

 

Get yourself up, hit a gym, go for a walk, buy yourself something you've wanted for awhile.

 

Think "what would I be doing if I cared about myself right now?" And then do it.

 

It's hard at first because the limbic system innyiur brain can take up to six months to fully heal from an injury of this nature. So BE KIND to yourself. Know that it may seem bleak now because our brains like to fool us and say "X person was THE ONLY ONE." And then your brain keeps you looking and waiting for THAT ONLY ONE to appear.

 

But it's actually not true. Your brain is capable of fully attaching to someone else that's healthier down the line. And there are lots of unbroken girls who won't cheat and prostitute themselves would who love a caring and loyal man (there's a shortage!)

 

Right now hour brain has suffered a loss & injury. Human being don't tend to see very clearly right after an upheaval like that.

 

Eat some greens, watch a movie.

 

I know it is so so so so hard.

 

I once stayed in bed for close to a week and lived off of a box of granola bars that were next to it. (That was the worst).

 

Thats what I am doing now just staying in bed, but I have to go out and get a walk, what I dont understand is how she can text " what did I do wrong all I did was break up" Like dose she not know what she did was wrong in gen

[SammySammy]

What a woman decides to do with her body is her personal decision. It has nothing to do with you.

 

What you do in response is totally up to you. That's the only thing "done to you". Your decision to stay around, be gullible ... mope and have a pity party ... is all on you. Your choice.

 

You can decide to do something positive and productive for yourself during and after the relationship. Or not. It's still your choice. Either way. Then and now.

[Chi townD]

Dude, seriously! BLOCK HER ON YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA!!!!

 

Right now, she's deluded and confused. But, sooner or later, she's going to get angry and vindictive. She's going to post some really hurtful stuff knowing that you can see it.

 

Do yourself a favor and don't give her the satisfaction. Look, you said it yourself. She wrote that all she did was break up with you. There you have it. You are no longer her boyfriend. You are nothing to her now. So, there's no reason to be on her social media and vice versa.

[Nyman2016]

Dude, seriously! BLOCK HER ON YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA!!!!

 

Right now, she's deluded and confused. But, sooner or later, she's going to get angry and vindictive. She's going to post some really hurtful stuff knowing that you can see it.

 

Do yourself a favor and don't give her the satisfaction. Look, you said it yourself. She wrote that all she did was break up with you. There you have it. You are no longer her boyfriend. You are nothing to her now. So, there's no reason to be on her social media and vice versa.

 

I think she wants to keep me around for a few reasons,

1) she said she still wants to hook up if we broke up

2) shes friends with all of her ex's and talks to them pretty freq

3) When I told her hypothetically if we broke up I wouldnt be friends with her, and she had a mini panic attack

 

Like why would u want me around if u are doing all this sugar daddy stuff?

[Chi townD]

I think she wants to keep me around for a few reasons,

1) she said she still wants to hook up if we broke up

2) shes friends with all of her ex's and talks to them pretty freq

3) When I told her hypothetically if we broke up I wouldnt be friends with her, and she had a mini panic attack

 

Like why would u want me around if u are doing all this sugar daddy stuff?

 

1) Why would you want to hook up if you KNOW she's sleeping around for money. Why put your health and life at risk.

 

2) Just because she's friends with her Ex's doesn't mean you have to.

 

3) You ARE broken up, and it's what she wanted. There is no relationship that she gets to dictate what happens. You owe her nothing. You are not her back up plan and you are not her emotional tampon.

[fromheart]

Thats what I am doing now just staying in bed, but I have to go out and get a walk, what I dont understand is how she can text " what did I do wrong all I did was break up" Like dose she not know what she did was wrong in gen

 

No she doesn't! She doesn't have a clue about any aspect of relationships whatsoever. And that's why right now, you must be her aside and continue with your life.

 

Get yourself a stable as you can be, then you'll attract a stable partner.

 

Yes she lives 5 mins away, but YOU live right here. You're the person you live with. Make that your priority, filter out the people who are dysfunctional, and these things will affect you a lot less.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Uh, is anyone else here really reading this guy's posts:

 

 

So there is this girl who I have been friends with since like 2010

 

 

websites (shes been using them for years) even tho I told her to stop using them

 

 

I can't understand how the guy who told someone what websites she can and cannot use is now crying "abuse" as if he's the victim here.

 

 

And just how many 17yo girls have a 22yo male as their mere friend ??

 

(end-of-college age with a high school girl)

 

 

 

Better yet, whyyyyyyyyyy was a 22yo male hovering around a 17yo female??? (rhetorical - we know the answer to this one in hindsight - er, we knew it then too)

 

 

 

It all adds up to something quite different than what we're expected to see here.

 

 

WTH I am 28 and she is 23

 

 

 

 

Nyman seems to be the core problem here, thinking he has any right to control what websites this woman can and cannot use (for starters).

[Nyman2016]

Now she is sub tweeting at me on twitter