ahmina Posted September 18, 2016 Posted September 18, 2016 In about 1 week it'll be a year since we met. I was on holidays in the country that he's from (also where my parents are from and most of my family live) and two weeks before leaving, i got introduced to him. we fell for eachother instantly, i guess it was love at first sight. for those last two weeks of my holiday we went out together every night. i enjoyed his company a lot but to be honest i did not think we would continue to talk once i got back to Australia as he had a girlfriend. to my suprise, we did continue to talk every single day. for the first 6 months we didn't really put a proper label on what we were but i guess it was an open relationship because he still spoke to his girlfriend (now ex ). Then we decided to make it official and he cut his ex out of his life. I find it hard to trust him so we often had many fights about where he was going out, who he was with and why he was talking to girls on facebook. Over the past six months my trust in him has definetely increased as i do believe that he loves me and he has shown that by cutting out all of his female friends and going out a lot less. As there is an 8 hour time difference it makes it very difficult to talk on the phone so we are constantly texting and both of us often lose sleep for eachother. Also my parents don't know about him and i am reluctant to tell them as he is muslim and i come from a strict christian orthodox family. this also adds to the difficulty of talking on the phone. some days we run out of things to talk about because we constantly text but other days we can't shut eachother up. We do love eachother very much it's just extremely difficult. I am trying to convince my family to go on holidays at the end of this year but it's not 100% guaranteed and even if we were to go it would still be a challenge to see my boy every day obviously because my parents don't know (he has told his parents and pretty much whole family plus i met all of his friends at the same time that i met him). So even that's not a solid plan to look forward to. However i do finish school in a year and after that we will be free to do whatever we want, i can go and live there, I can bring him to Australia or we could visit eachother frequently, but there's still a whole year until then. Often we find ourselves fighting over silly things and i think thats mainly out of frustration because we miss eachother. I love him so so so much words can't even describe how much he means to me and I miss him like crazy and I don't know how we're meant to hold on for another whole year. It's so stressful and exhausting and it takes up all of my time so it gets in the way of my schooling and socialising but i love him and he's worth it. And i don't know if it's time to tell my mum or not? He is my first love and i definitely see a future, we're both really serious about eachother. I see other couples in public and i want to cry because the love of my life is a $2000 and 40 hour plane trip away
ExpatInItaly Posted September 18, 2016 Posted September 18, 2016 I get the sense you are very young - is that correct? I don't mean to be patronizing, but from take it from someone older than you: You need to bring some balance back into your life, for your own well-being. It isn't ever a good idea to make one person the centre of your world, at any age. You should not be compromising school and your own friends for a boy, especially one you have met only one time. I realize I sound like your mother, but it's true. I can't tell you how many times I have seen that go very badly. Ask yourself if this is really a viable prospect. You live very far apart, it's expensive to fly to each other, and come from different cultural backgrounds. How will you both afford to see each other? Would your families be accepting of your religious differences? (It sounds like you know they wouldn't, based on your hesitation to tell your mom) Is it realistic to expect him not to go out and have fun? What you've got is a situation that is very difficult to sustain for a long period. You're already fighting and you've barely spent any time together in person. That isn't a good sign, hon. 2
sooshi Posted September 18, 2016 Posted September 18, 2016 In about 1 week it'll be a year since we met. I was on holidays in the country that he's from (also where my parents are from and most of my family live) and two weeks before leaving, i got introduced to him. we fell for eachother instantly, i guess it was love at first sight. for those last two weeks of my holiday we went out together every night. i enjoyed his company a lot but to be honest i did not think we would continue to talk once i got back to Australia as he had a girlfriend. to my suprise, we did continue to talk every single day. for the first 6 months we didn't really put a proper label on what we were but i guess it was an open relationship because he still spoke to his girlfriend (now ex ). It wasn't an open relationship. He cheated on his girlfriend with you for six months. I also agree with Expat. Read about codependency. Work on your self-esteem, self-respect, and self-worth. Take care.
Lois_Griffin Posted September 19, 2016 Posted September 19, 2016 He is my first love and i definitely see a future, we're both really serious about eachother. I see other couples in public and i want to cry because the love of my life is a $2000 and 40 hour plane trip away Sigh. You're so young. You'll come to find that he's only your FIRST love, not your last. 1
Author ahmina Posted September 19, 2016 Author Posted September 19, 2016 Sigh. You're so young. You'll come to find that he's only your FIRST love, not your last. I get the sense you are very young - is that correct? I don't mean to be patronizing, but from take it from someone older than you: You need to bring some balance back into your life, for your own well-being. It isn't ever a good idea to make one person the centre of your world, at any age. You should not be compromising school and your own friends for a boy, especially one you have met only one time. I realize I sound like your mother, but it's true. I can't tell you how many times I have seen that go very badly. Ask yourself if this is really a viable prospect. You live very far apart, it's expensive to fly to each other, and come from different cultural backgrounds. How will you both afford to see each other? Would your families be accepting of your religious differences? (It sounds like you know they wouldn't, based on your hesitation to tell your mom) Is it realistic to expect him not to go out and have fun? What you've got is a situation that is very difficult to sustain for a long period. You're already fighting and you've barely spent any time together in person. That isn't a good sign, hon. Thankyou, I appreciate you commenting because i have heard this from my best friend and i think i just needed to hear it again from someone else. I do admit I am young and before meeting him I was so certain that you couldn't fall in love at a young age but you're right, he's my first love not my last. I guess I've just had an overly positive outlook on the situation and we both created a fantasy of how things would be when i finish school. I just don't know what to do now. He has consumed so much of my life and Ive gotten used to talking to him all day every day. We've grown such an attachment to each other over the past year and cutting contact with him is so difficult because we immediately miss each other and we find a way to message each other (believe me we've tried).
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