Springsummer Posted September 18, 2016 Posted September 18, 2016 A barista in Starbuck...last weekend he did my coffee and I thought he was very polite and good looking, so I remembered him. Today someone else did my coffee and I unintentionally noticed he was beside my barista and he seemed really noticed me. so I sat on the big table and worked with my computer and I just randomly raised my head and looked around, and this young man was just off duties and walked by, then he looked at me intentionally with this DEEP look. I don't even wear makeup, which I generally too lazy for it. oh, boy! I think I could be his mother age wise! but of course, I look much younger than my age, possibly 10-15 younger, so he couldn't know. no, I don't think I am delusional about this. by now, I think I completely give up of ever finding love and getting marry and have kids. I don't know when I want someone once in a blue moon, it just never happened. so it looks like I still got it, but just never have any luck with love.what do I do then? I am thinking just to have some fun before I die or be a single mom? Thank you everyone for reading my random thoughts! if you happen to have some time to give some thoughts, that will be much appreciated! 1
Author Springsummer Posted September 18, 2016 Author Posted September 18, 2016 Life is funny. Like I have this crush with this guy for the longest time and he doesn't even remembered me. I guess I should take the path of less resistance instead of wasting fancy something like impossible. that's what I learnt after feeling hopeless with this guy. I didn't realize this previously. Now I am really tired.
jen1447 Posted September 18, 2016 Posted September 18, 2016 Not sure what you're saying ....you're wondering if you should try to hook up w him or if he might be 'the one,' etc.? 2
preraph Posted September 18, 2016 Posted September 18, 2016 Just be friendly and casual, but not flirty. You never know. He might have an older brother or a hot father. Never hurts to make acquaintances and then if you strike a rapport, just see where it goes. I dated a lot of younger guys and it's true most of them are eventually going to want kids, but not all. Most of them can be fun and you can have a good emotional relationship with them, but they are also not usually going to stay forever with someone a lot older. 1
Author Springsummer Posted September 19, 2016 Author Posted September 19, 2016 Not sure what you're saying ....you're wondering if you should try to hook up w him or if he might be 'the one,' etc.? The one? lol...I am not that crazy. hook up? I am clueless even if I want to. I am a extremely uptight and seriously kind of person. I don't even know how to flirt. I guess I have to change. hookup is an idea maybe for the near future. I am currently preoccupied (but not too occupied obviously as I still have time to mow over a guy) I sometimes have zero confident, so this incident reminds me that I am not unattractive after all. ( of course I have other similar incidents but forgotten because I only focus on a few men that disappointed me). so I need to remind myself there are pretty of fishes in the sea, no need to fixate on one not working out.
Author Springsummer Posted September 19, 2016 Author Posted September 19, 2016 Just be friendly and casual, but not flirty. You never know. He might have an older brother or a hot father. Never hurts to make acquaintances and then if you strike a rapport, just see where it goes. I dated a lot of younger guys and it's true most of them are eventually going to want kids, but not all. Most of them can be fun and you can have a good emotional relationship with them, but they are also not usually going to stay forever with someone a lot older. Yes, sometimes I am a quite closed, not that friendly and diplomatic. I don't think in long term. I am impulsive and edgy. Thanks for the reminders!
Gloria25 Posted September 19, 2016 Posted September 19, 2016 Fun, that "is" the question... You know, that's a personal decision to be made. No one can make it for you. I mean, you know your needs, heart, mind, etc. One thing that may be a "fit" for one person may not be for another. I mean, I'm scared 26 yr old may see something that I'm not accepting - which is maybe I am walking the wire, where I don't want the whole kids and marriage thing, but I still want the attention/time that a gf would get in this casual situation...which I sorta had with my 42 yr old FWB (without asking, discussing, agreeing on it), he'd bring me flowers, we'd go out to eat, movies, sleepovers, etc. It also depends on who you want to do this with. I mean, gosh, I've posted about the struggles with 26 yr old dude - yet I've heard of some women who are able to pull off a casual thing with a younger guy without barely any issues. I'd prefer a more "matter of fact", lay your cards on the table and agree upon what expectations both people had. Some people just see each other and just see what works. So, over all, you take a risk cuz if you step away from looking for love to have casual fun. Sometimes that casual fun won't last long and/or may leave you empty and unsatisfied. With age it gets harder to meet someone cuz they have kids, baggage, divorces, etc. So yes, some people don't "give up on love", they simply decide that they want to change their expectations and that's where I am. I want companionship and to enjoy the company of a nice guy - just hoping to find the guy who gets what I want and where I'm coming from 2
Author Springsummer Posted September 19, 2016 Author Posted September 19, 2016 Gloria...I don't believe in love anymore...finally I figured this out. All men are the same. This man I thought was different...he adds women every weekend, so what I am supposed to think about this? Even Bruce Lee cheated, the man I really think is amazing and admire. He looks so nice and serious too.
Shepp Posted September 19, 2016 Posted September 19, 2016 All men are the same. Thats complete tripe! Being scared to take a risk is one thing, but dont try to kid yourself that its the rest of the worlds doing with ridiculous statements like these! All it does is become a self fulfilling prophecy Sorry if thats tough love! 2
MrMeh Posted September 19, 2016 Posted September 19, 2016 Did you seriously just give up hope on all men because a man like Bruce Lee cheated? 3
GorillaTheater Posted September 19, 2016 Posted September 19, 2016 Did you seriously just give up hope on all men because a man like Bruce Lee cheated? I'm not sure if that really counts. He was fast as lightening. In fact, it was a little bit frightening. 5
Aniela Posted September 19, 2016 Posted September 19, 2016 Gloria...I don't believe in love anymore...finally I figured this out. All men are the same. This man I thought was different...he adds women every weekend, so what I am supposed to think about this? Even Bruce Lee cheated, the man I really think is amazing and admire. He looks so nice and serious too. Don't think anything of it, unless he actually says something. It's hard when you're attracted to someone, I know. I had a guy give me a similar look in a bookstore cafe that I frequent. I was spending more time there, when I wasn't at the hospital (when dad dropped me off, or I needed to ease some stressful feelings before going home). The first time I thought it was because I had a huge pile of books, and it was less than an hour from closing time. Another time, he said hello to me and smiled - but he's a sociable guy. He talks to everyone, and seems to know regulars. He's close to my age, though, not a lot younger. You could also remind this guy of someone. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted September 19, 2016 Posted September 19, 2016 Take it from me, younger men can definitely be a lot of fun but having someone gaze at you doesn't exactly mean anything except they enjoy staring. Sometimes it means something and sometimes it doesn't and none of it means anything unless there is action behind it, yours or his. 2
xxoo Posted September 19, 2016 Posted September 19, 2016 Maybe he also looks 10-15 years younger than his age. Maybe you are the same age, and a perfect match! 1
Osmium13 Posted September 19, 2016 Posted September 19, 2016 (edited) So next time you're in Starbucks, grab him by the collar and lick his face. I'm sure you'll know if he likes you after that edit: Might not be such a good idea if he hasn't shaved! edit edit: It wasn't actually a good idea in the first place, so ignore the technicality in the first edit. Edited September 19, 2016 by Osmium13 1
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