I was on the way to be one of the other women...I need some support...

[ls7878]

Hi all,

I do not know if I post this in the right place but I do feel broke and need some support. Please give me some support if u can...

I met my new boss few months ago. Our team had some changes. He fired few people and keep me in the team and provide me a job, who just came back from mat leave, does not have any job to do and sit far behind the group. I thought i am on the list to be fired and felt appreciated to him to keep me because I do really need this job.he was kind and nice to me. It is my first time in my life time that I can feel a man who is so gentle and kind. I felt I was in love...he brought little toy for my baby when he came back from his vac...it was the most happiness moment I i ever had. But I still did not go quite close to him because i know he is married...I want to take it slow to make sure everything is fine. I refused to let him drive me home because I saw he put lotion on his neck before he went out...I am afraid he wanted sex but I was not ready for it. I do want sex with him as well...the chemistry was really strong there.. but I feel I need to know him more....everything was fantastic until I refused him..he began to keep distance to me. Two weeks later I found out actually he has sex relationship with another part-time girl in our team...she left after her contract finished. And he began to flirt with my new manager...this new manager feel jealousy because she knows he was really kind to me. She is the kind of woman that she has to be the only one in his eyes...so she began to pick up on me ...before he protects me but since she will be angry with him about it, right now he also let her do whatever she want to keep her happy...but when she is not around, he will come to talk to me to make me feel better...I was thinking that I would just live like that. ..I do not need to have sex with him but keep him happy to make sure my days in this group are not too bad....I hang in there for 2weeks and finally decide that I need a clear end to make myself move on from this. So I had a clear cut off with him right now...but without his help, my days are terrible...new manager has more ages than me...she always feel insecure so she always put extra work or blame me for nothing to give me pressures....

I understand this man was not fall in love with me...it was just my silly day dream...but emotionally the feelings are still there...and right now he totally ignores me and his new lover picks me up every single day to torture me...

 

But I think I did a right decision for myself...stay out of the loop....but the days still pretty hard for me...

 

Please give me some advice and support...I just feel sad but I know it is a right decision for me, isn't it?

[nymphetgrown]

It sounds as if you should be looking for a new job, with such a toxic work environment. You have a child to support; that child should always come first. Your job isn't so secure anyway, if you're relying on this man's goodwill to stay employed.

[ls7878]

It sounds as if you should be looking for a new job, with such a toxic work environment. You have a child to support; that child should always come first. Your job isn't so secure anyway, if you're relying on this man's goodwill to stay employed.

 

Thank you for your advice and yes, before I felt I was tortured to stay in this sick relationship with him and my new manager. So I decide to cut off everything to make my mind is peaceful but right now after I cut off everything, I began to feel he might want to fire me soon or later.....I know...thank you for reminding me. I cannot rely on him...

[Ruffian1]

Your boss is sexually harassing his employees. Weather it is consentual or not, he should not be in a sexual relationship with subordinates. It is ethically wrong and possibly illegal. He should be fired.

 

You should not have to "play" with you boss to have a safe work environment.

 

As a boss it is generally a terrible idea to have sex with his employees. It exposes him to all sorts of potential litigation, sexual harassment charges, wrongful termination suits, scandals, and so forth, and it destroys morale at the company. ("Oh, that's how you get ahead here?")

 

You could report him. If the boss is favoring one employee over the others in exchange for sexual favors, this may give rise to a cause of action for a "hostile work environment" on the part of the other employees that are not being treated favorably.

 

I don't think you will though, you got to keep your job cuz he was interested in you.

[Ruffian1]

Oh, also, kudos on refraining from having sex with him.

Good decision.

[nymphetgrown]

It exposes him to all sorts of potential litigation, sexual harassment charges, wrongful termination suits, scandals, and so forth

 

Remember that one, OP. Remember that if you get sacked mysteriously in the next few days/weeks. Keep any and all evidence that he was interested in you. It is possible to win if the evidence is clear enough.

[ls7878]

Oh, also, kudos on refraining from having sex with him.

Good decision.

 

Thank u for ur reply...and you are right...I could not report him because I cannot let myself go through the whole process that I accuse him and HR will investigate the whole thing...I just feel really embarrassing and I know I likes him before I know the truth...the feelings was there...I also cannot do it to him...but right now I am really in a bad position...when his lover makes him not happy, he came to me..I do not know what he want, maybe just boost his ego...and his lover hates me...she try to give me hard time every single day...even though I cannot lose this job, the days here are horrible

[ls7878]

Remember that one, OP. Remember that if you get sacked mysteriously in the next few days/weeks. Keep any and all evidence that he was interested in you. It is possible to win if the evidence is clear enough.

 

Believe or not, he even never leave any evidence for me...nothing in writing...all the conversation was between him and myself...no 3rd person involved even...I guess it is not his first time...he already know how it works...

 

I cannot believe he can do this to me. I gave him my heart but actually it is nothing for him...

 

I feel so depressed about this mess...

[Miss Clavel]

Believe or not, he even never leave any evidence for me...nothing in writing...all the conversation was between him and myself...no 3rd person involved even...I guess it is not his first time...he already know how it works...

 

I cannot believe he can do this to me. I gave him my heart but actually it is nothing for him...

 

I feel so depressed about this mess...

there is evidence. she and he are having an affair, in the workplace. she is using the affair to war lord over you. it's called hostile work environment. she controls your wage and your work with his blessings.

 

go and talk to a lawyer. sometimes a lawyer will offer a free one hour consultation. look for a lawyer that specializes in labor disputes or sexual harassment to avoid wasting time.

 

while you are on line looking up legal advice, look for a job and a doctor. depression is very serious.

[ls7878]

there is evidence. she and he are having an affair, in the workplace. she is using the affair to war lord over you. it's called hostile work environment. she controls your wage and your work with his blessings.

 

go and talk to a lawyer. sometimes a lawyer will offer a free one hour consultation. look for a lawyer that specializes in labor disputes or sexual harassment to avoid wasting time.

 

while you are on line looking up legal advice, look for a job and a doctor. depression is very serious.

 

 

I cannot sleep right now...yesterday he try to reconnect with me on his lover's back...i guess she did sth he does not like...but I refused because I know it is endless painful...he was so mad and suddently turn to his lover...I do not know what's gonna happen...I do not know what I am scared of but I just cannot sleep...it is so stressful to continue this job in this environment...