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Don't understand her. What's her deal?


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Posted

So the girl i was seeing ended things with me a few weeks ago. She apologized a week later for overreacting. I responded back but then she went days without saying anything. After 4 days she asked to see me but I just was still pissed about the whole to be honest so I wasn't receptive. Anyways she and I haven't talked in weeks. Based on her snaps she seems just fine.

 

On Tuesday I get text from her saying hey headed home (she lives a few hours away) I left some stuff for you by the front door. I told my roommate to go outside and check and to bring it in. I replied back ok thanks. A few minutes later I sent her another text saying that my roommate just told me and that I was in LA (her city). All she said back was no problem...okay cool.

 

I get back to my town today and in the bag she has a note that says hope all is well. It's been a while. Ran into your roommate this weekend and heard that you're moving soon. I was just concerned so I go you a few pick me ups. Could be wrong and if I am just take it as a housewarming and pay it forward :)

 

What the heck?

Posted

What the heck! Mixed signals.

 

Not all girls are like this. I suggest that you find someone who is more consistent with their attention. This one sounds a little confused...

Posted

She sounds like a nice friend. That's about it. She didn't say she missed you or wanted to see you in that note. The bag was a nice gesture but it seems more friendly than anything.

 

If she was truly interested when you said you were in her city she would not have said "oh ok cool", instead it would have been something like "let's grab drinks and catch up". She obviously still cares about you, just not in a romantic way.

  • Like 1
Posted

Yeah, the "I'm in your city" line would, to any real good friend, but a perfect chance to reply with a "let's meet up" at the very least. As tough as it sounds, let this one go and accept the choices that she's made. If she truly wanted you back, then you'd know it. But ignore that false hope and focus on yourself. There's better people out there.

  • Author
Posted (edited)
Yeah, the "I'm in your city" line would, to any real good friend, but a perfect chance to reply with a "let's meet up" at the very least. As tough as it sounds, let this one go and accept the choices that she's made. If she truly wanted you back, then you'd know it. But ignore that false hope and focus on yourself. There's better people out there.

 

Thanks. Just curious. If you dropped off a gift or w/e for a woman and she said thanks then a few minutes later followed up with my roommate just told me...I'm in *insert your city* would you think she was telling you that to drop a hint to see her?

 

Also, the bag of gifts essentially means nothing since she didn't try and see me?

Edited by Leojax
Posted
Thanks. Just curious. If you dropped off a gift or w/e for a woman and she said thanks then a few minutes later followed up with my roommate just told me...I'm in *insert your city* would you think she was telling you that to drop a hint to see her?

 

Also, the bag of gifts essentially means nothing since she didn't try and see me?

 

 

Could be wrong here but yes I would assume you were trying to drop a hint to see me or whatever you would like to call it.

 

If I were her I would have thought hmmm he could've easily said "hey not home" "hey out of town" or just simply said thanks since he wasn't home to see my gift but he didn't.

 

Either way usually when people drop their location and it happens to be your location as well it's because they're hoping/would like to see you.

Posted

Yeah this is that push pull dynamic you want to avoid at all costs. It happens when one or both partners avoid confronting the elephant in the room and flip flop between stonewalling and pretending everythings okay. Up to you if you want to go there again but it doesn't sound like her relationship skills are up to much. She's still 'punishing' you for whatever crime you committed by acting all 'I soo don't care' about you when you called. Then dumps a gift at your door, supposedly so she doesn't have to confront that elephant in the room and hopes it will all just blow over and be forgotten. Her lack of relating skills that is.

 

Walk away.

  • Author
Posted
Yeah this is that push pull dynamic you want to avoid at all costs. It happens when one or both partners avoid confronting the elephant in the room and flip flop between stonewalling and pretending everythings okay. Up to you if you want to go there again but it doesn't sound like her relationship skills are up to much. She's still 'punishing' you for whatever crime you committed by acting all 'I soo don't care' about you when you called. Then dumps a gift at your door, supposedly so she doesn't have to confront that elephant in the room and hopes it will all just blow over and be forgotten. Her lack of relating skills that is.

 

Walk away.

 

But how is she acting like she doesn't care? Doesn't her gift say that she cares?

Posted
But how is she acting like she doesn't care? Doesn't her gift say that she cares?

 

Because you mentioned you were in her city and she blew you off. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that's an opportunity to meet up, clear the air, whatever.

  • Author
Posted
Because you mentioned you were in her city and she blew you off. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that's an opportunity to meet up, clear the air, whatever.

 

Thanks. So it's probably best to not even say anything to her about the bag because it seems like she's not interested?

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