lovesfool Posted September 17, 2016 Posted September 17, 2016 I met a guy on Tinder and have been talking to him for the past few months. We seem to get on very well. We have so far met for 3 dates, but I can't tell if he's actually interested in dating me. For a while he seemed to be busy every weekend. He would often travel long distances back to his hometown so we could never arrange a date. He has more free time now, and I figured it would be a good chance at seeing him regularly, so we decided to go on a date last weekend. I thought it was an enjoyable night. We had a few drinks, chatted continuously, I even invited him back to mine. The only hiccup in the night is that he goaded me into talking about a controversial topic, and I gave my honest opinion. I'm not sure if he agreed with it, but he said he likes a good discussion so I left it at that. I tried to arrange another date during the week, but he said he was meeting friends every night but would be free at the weekend. Yesterday I suggested a date for today, but he said another friend wanted to meet up and so wouldn't be free, but could do something tomorrow. I'm worried that he might just be leading me on and has no intention of dating me seriously. I know if I was interested in dating someone, I would try to make time. It could be the case that I offended him by my comments on my last date, I just don't know. Should I say something to him to see if he is really interested in dating me? I don't want to seem needy, bit I also don't want to be dragged along thinking "will he, won't he" and let other opportunities pass me by. Or should I bring up the controversial topic and see if I offended him somehow?
Zahara Posted September 17, 2016 Posted September 17, 2016 Talking for several months and only 3 dates in. Declining your offers for a date because he'd rather drink with friends. I'd say not really interested. You don't have to ask him. He's showing you. You embrace that and move on by dating others. If you still want to see him, that's fine but lower your expectations. Let him start making the effort to ask you/reschedule since you've done twice already with him turning you down. 2
Gr8fuln2020 Posted September 17, 2016 Posted September 17, 2016 I met a guy on Tinder and have been talking to him for the past few months. We seem to get on very well. We have so far met for 3 dates, but I can't tell if he's actually interested in dating me. For a while he seemed to be busy every weekend. He would often travel long distances back to his hometown so we could never arrange a date. He has more free time now, and I figured it would be a good chance at seeing him regularly, so we decided to go on a date last weekend. I thought it was an enjoyable night. We had a few drinks, chatted continuously, I even invited him back to mine. The only hiccup in the night is that he goaded me into talking about a controversial topic, and I gave my honest opinion. I'm not sure if he agreed with it, but he said he likes a good discussion so I left it at that. I tried to arrange another date during the week, but he said he was meeting friends every night but would be free at the weekend. Yesterday I suggested a date for today, but he said another friend wanted to meet up and so wouldn't be free, but could do something tomorrow. I'm worried that he might just be leading me on and has no intention of dating me seriously. I know if I was interested in dating someone, I would try to make time. It could be the case that I offended him by my comments on my last date, I just don't know. Should I say something to him to see if he is really interested in dating me? I don't want to seem needy, bit I also don't want to be dragged along thinking "will he, won't he" and let other opportunities pass me by. Or should I bring up the controversial topic and see if I offended him somehow? What was the subject of conversation? He doesn't seem all that enthusiastic, but he did give you options. How did you respond when he gave you the options? If you responded to the affirmative, then wait for him to call/text you back. If he doesn't, he's not really interested or playing some power game.
angel.eyes Posted September 17, 2016 Posted September 17, 2016 I know if I was interested in dating someone, I would try to make time. Should I say something to him to see if he is really interested in dating me? His actions and excuses tell you he's not interested. No need to ask the obvious. Come on now! He's told you he would rather spend every week night, and now weekend nights with his friends! He refuses to take you up on any of your requests to meet up again. I don't want to seem needy, bit I also don't want to be dragged along thinking "will he, won't he" and let other opportunities pass me by. He won't! He refuses to meet you again despite your repeated requests and offers. The only person dragging you along is you. He's being crystal clear in his actions and choices. Or should I bring up the controversial topic and see if I offended him somehow? It's irrelevant why he lost interest. What matters is that he's lost interest and no longer wants to see you. Three dates in months??? Even before the debate, he was barely interested. Let it go. Explore other opportunities.
leogirl876 Posted September 17, 2016 Posted September 17, 2016 For one thing, I think you're trying way too hard to get together with him. He should be trying as hard or harder to get together with you. Don't push him on this. Back off and see if he initiates, either way, there's your answer.
angel.eyes Posted September 17, 2016 Posted September 17, 2016 What was the subject of conversation? He doesn't seem all that enthusiastic, but he did give you options. How did you respond when he gave you the options? If you responded to the affirmative, then wait for him to call/text you back. If he doesn't, he's not really interested or playing some power game. What options did he give her exactly??? Maybe I might be able to meet you tomorrow? She keeps bugging him after he says he's unavailable every week night...on top of being unavailable on weekends for the three months they've been talking. That's not an option. It's a polite blow-off. Given all her attempts to meet, if he were even vaguely interested in seeing her again, he would set up a time. He hasn't.
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