TequilaSunrise85 Posted September 17, 2016 Posted September 17, 2016 So, this is my second or third post, but I'll go over briefly where I'm coming from. Been getting divorced for about a year, and I feel ready to start dating again. Haven't been on a first date since high school since I met my ex-wife when I was 18, and I never cheated (which apparently qualifies me as super human according to one of my friends). I'm 31 now, and having spent my 20's turning down women, I find myself unsure how to flirt, show I'm interested, or make really any moves at all. So I tried online dating, and after several messages that went unread, unreplied, or got a lack luster 1 sentence response, I had a pretty good conversation that led to me discovering I was blocked when I tried to say hi and continue the next day. So online dating clearly sucks. Now I'm figuring I'll just do this the old fashioned way and talk to women I see in the street, grocery store, or where ever, but this brings the issue of i don't know what I'm doing back to light and don't say anything. Compound this with living in a new city where the few people I did know were mostly my exes friends and you have my problem; few friends, clueless about women, and unsure of what to do. So, how do I convey that I'm interested? Where does someone in their 30's go to make friends? Should I give up on online dating or consider sites that make you pay like match? If there's a thing like the Seattle Freeze, why isn't there Seattle Anti-freeze? Why does having these problems have to make me feel so lame?
Bialy Posted September 17, 2016 Posted September 17, 2016 Get active. If you're in Seattle - link up with a hiking group or cycling group or mountaineering group! There are plenty on Meetup.com. Sign up and start meeting new people.
Author TequilaSunrise85 Posted September 17, 2016 Author Posted September 17, 2016 Alright, Meetup.com seems interesting. I've been doing a lot of solo hiking already, so that seems a good place to start.
Gaeta Posted September 17, 2016 Posted September 17, 2016 Surveys show that 75% of singles have an online profile. I think it's a shame that you are not using that pool to meet someone. Sure it has been a negative experience at first but it's like that for everyone. Some meet right away and others it takes a couple of years, like me. Just have a profile there, no need to do this full time and who knows what surprise it could bring you. Mean while continue with meeting groups and other avenues.
Lovestinks12 Posted September 17, 2016 Posted September 17, 2016 I think hobbies and meetup are the right way to go. Online dating isnt worth it. I would just try to meet people in person. Put yourself out there.. at first things will be rough, but once you get comfortable with rejection then talking to girls will be second nature. Don't be so eager to date right off the bat. Girls can smell desperation. You want to get into the swing of things. Look at it as trying to meet new friends. Try and have fun .. I am in a similar situation and honestly online dating never worked. I am pretty busy atm, but when i do have free time, I try and go out and just talk to girls. I am still working on trying to just meet girls throughout my day, but I usually over think things and the moment passes haha. I am still trying to work on the advice I'm preaching right now, but I do believe its the right way to go.
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