How to behave now?

[Danin]

Hi guys, I came here for advice because I'dont know what exactly to do in this situation. I just want to point out, that I'm not native english speaker, so sorry about my grammar in advance

 

Long story short, me and my ex girlfriend are visiting same college and also have a lot of classes together. We were in relationship for about one year and a half. Break up happened from her side, but it wasn't some kind of a terrible break up, no one cheated, no big argues, the main problem was, that I simply became insecure and I wanted to spend a lot of time with her in the past. She started to be different and basically said to me, that I'm amazing person but she is done with constant little arguing and that she can't give me what I want. I am fully concious of my insecurity right now (wasn't back then) but she also hasn't made it easy. She even admitted that she could be more active in that time. I didn't have any clues until the last month of our relationship and that really pisses me off, because she didn't express her feelings enough. So then she wanted to be just friends but I haven't agreed to this terms. We remained in contact three months after break up and then I decided to go full no contact, I didn't give her a choice because I simply didn't see any improvements. She said, that we may be together some day, but not now. It has been five months in no contact period and she just contacted me once (month and a half after NC) on my birthday, which surprised me because I didn´t say anything on her birthday which was half month earlier before mine. I just replied "thank you" and that was all, no more conversation from both sides after this.

 

So basically I started to live my life after beginning of NC, I had a lots of time to think about all this stuff, about my behaviour, insecurity manners etc. and I changed a lot. Now I'm better person than before and I know, that my life isn't reliant on her but still it's so hard for me to close this door completely, especially after seeing her contacting me, which proves to me that she still cares about me at least at some level. So now is the time, when we are going to see each other in college again after few months.

 

My question is: What should I do right now when I see her again? How should I behave in her presence after all of this? I know that I shouldn't be too friendly but I don't want to be too cold. It's just hard because I still love her and I know she probably loves me too (not bull****ing myself - because we didn't hurt each other and she was considering her future with me even after break up, needles to say that she is very honest person, she doesn't want to give me false hope). So please help me understand this situation. I'm not entirely certain what should I do, if I will meet my ex almost every day after all this. I appriciate any advice

Edited September 16, 2016 by Danin

[kgcolonel]

Hi guys, I came here for advice because I'dont know what exactly to do in this situation. I just want to point out, that I'm not native english speaker, so sorry about my grammar in advance

 

Long story short, me and my ex girlfriend are visiting same college and also have a lot of classes together. We were in relationship for about one year and a half. Break up happened from her side, but it wasn't some kind of a terrible break up, no one cheated, no big argues, the main problem was, that I simply became insecure and I wanted to spend a lot of time with her in the past. She started to be different and basically said to me, that I'm amazing person but she is done with constant little arguing and that she can't give me what I want. I am fully concious of my insecurity right now (wasn't back then) but she also hasn't made it easy. She even admitted that she could be more active in that time. I didn't have any clues until the last month of our relationship and that really pisses me off, because she didn't express her feelings enough. So then she wanted to be just friends but I haven't agreed to this terms. We remained in contact three months after break up and then I decided to go full no contact, I didn't give her a choice because I simply didn't see any improvements. She said, that we may be together some day, but not now. It has been five months in no contact period and she just contacted me once (month and a half after NC) on my birthday, which surprised me because I didn´t say anything on her birthday which was half month earlier before mine. I just replied "thank you" and that was all, no more conversation from both sides after this.

 

So basically I started to live my life after beginning of NC, I had a lots of time to think about all this stuff, about my behaviour, insecurity manners etc. and I changed a lot. Now I'm better person than before and I know, that my life isn't reliant on her but still it's so hard for me to close this door completely, especially after seeing her contacting me, which proves to me that she still cares about me at least at some level. So now is the time, when we are going to see each other in college again after few months.

 

My question is: What should I do right now when I see her again? How should I behave in her presence after all of this? I know that I shouldn't be too friendly but I don't want to be too cold. It's just hard because I still love her and I know she probably loves me too (not bull****ing myself - because we didn't hurt each other and she was considering her future with me even after break up, needles to say that she is very honest person, she doesn't want to give me false hope). So please help me understand this situation. I'm not entirely certain what should I do, if I will meet my ex almost every day after all this. I appriciate any advice

 

Danin, unless you are read to see her flirt with other guys, date other guys, see other guys give her attention and her being receptive, I would at least ignore her, do not acknowledge her in any way, at most, look to change your schedule. Seeing these things will keep you in pain and wil prevent you from focusing on your studies at the very least and could drive you into depression. She broke up with you and until you can be genuinely happy for her when she finds true love, you're not ready to be "friends". Don't pretend or fool yourself that you are, trust me, I know this from experience. Go, once you're ready and find yourself someone who is ready to give you what you need today. Don't wait on her, if she changes her thinking, she will let you know.

[aloneinaz]

Hum.. I certainly wouldn't be her friend, you're NO where near ready for that. The above poster hit the nail on the head. I think your best scenario would be to be distant and not try to engage w/her. If she comes up to you to be "pals", I would quickly let her know that's not in YOUR best interests while being polite. Then let her know you'd rather not have further contact.

 

Then, when you do run into her, simply act like she's not someone you know. In the meantime, get out there and date! Don't wait around for someone who already dumped you once. You're young. Go out and have some fun.

[serate]

Hi guys, I came here for advice because I'dont know what exactly to do in this situation. I just want to point out, that I'm not native english speaker, so sorry about my grammar in advance

 

Long story short, me and my ex girlfriend are visiting same college and also have a lot of classes together. We were in relationship for about one year and a half. Break up happened from her side, but it wasn't some kind of a terrible break up, no one cheated, no big argues, the main problem was, that I simply became insecure and I wanted to spend a lot of time with her in the past. She started to be different and basically said to me, that I'm amazing person but she is done with constant little arguing and that she can't give me what I want. I am fully concious of my insecurity right now (wasn't back then) but she also hasn't made it easy. She even admitted that she could be more active in that time. I didn't have any clues until the last month of our relationship and that really pisses me off, because she didn't express her feelings enough. So then she wanted to be just friends but I haven't agreed to this terms. We remained in contact three months after break up and then I decided to go full no contact, I didn't give her a choice because I simply didn't see any improvements. She said, that we may be together some day, but not now. It has been five months in no contact period and she just contacted me once (month and a half after NC) on my birthday, which surprised me because I didn´t say anything on her birthday which was half month earlier before mine. I just replied "thank you" and that was all, no more conversation from both sides after this.

 

So basically I started to live my life after beginning of NC, I had a lots of time to think about all this stuff, about my behaviour, insecurity manners etc. and I changed a lot. Now I'm better person than before and I know, that my life isn't reliant on her but still it's so hard for me to close this door completely, especially after seeing her contacting me, which proves to me that she still cares about me at least at some level. So now is the time, when we are going to see each other in college again after few months.

 

My question is: What should I do right now when I see her again? How should I behave in her presence after all of this? I know that I shouldn't be too friendly but I don't want to be too cold. It's just hard because I still love her and I know she probably loves me too (not bull****ing myself - because we didn't hurt each other and she was considering her future with me even after break up, needles to say that she is very honest person, she doesn't want to give me false hope). So please help me understand this situation. I'm not entirely certain what should I do, if I will meet my ex almost every day after all this. I appriciate any advice

 

Im going through the same thing right now. I was with her for a year and a half and she went back to her ex boyfriend after we broke up. Its been a year and I know nothing about her because I stuck to NC. I thought she was happy with her ex boyfriend this whole time but it turned out they only dated for 3 months and broke up. Shes been partying, clubbing and grinding on random guys. I have a class with her this semester and its killing me because I still love her. We just started talking casually after 3 weeks of ignoring each other in class. I have to hide my feelings for her and cant show weakness.