Platonic dating vs. Romantic dating

[NotASkunk]

I am about three months out of a long-term relationship that ended badly and was filled with a lot of misery for both of us. We had live together and he moved out one year ago so it really is more like one year after the break up. We tried to still stay together until about three months ago but he wasn't willing to do any of the work to make that happen so it has been officially over for three months.

 

I realized pretty quickly that I was not able to date. I despondent and incredibly sad, still trying to keep in contact with him and pretty miserable. I went on a few dates as a way to distract myself from the misery but it only made me more depressed and I abandoned any idea of getting involved with anybody on a romantic level at that point. About two weeks ago I finally "got it"and went into no contact mode for my own sanity. It was the best thing I could ever do! My depression has drastically decreased, my energy and enthusiasm about life has gone up to an almost normal level and I actually smile sometimes now! I still have my moments, believe me, but for the most part I am feeling so much better!

 

There are a lot of dating avenues out there on the Internet and I have discovered that there are a lot of men around my age, early 50s, who are happy to date at a platonic level. I have gone on several outings and have more plans to go out again. It has rejuvenated my spirits to feel a part of the dynamic of going out with men but at a level that I am very comfortable with.

 

I'm curious what others think of this and how healthy or unhealthy it might be in your opinion. My therapist feels that anything I can do to put a smile on my face and to get back out there and experience some joy is a good thing. Curious about other peoples opinions.

[GorillaTheater]

I think it sounds fine, and fun, so long as everyone's expectations are made known and clearly understood. But that of course applies to just about any sort of relationship.

 

 

Good for you, and have fun!

[preraph]

I think it's find too but that you don't need to call it dating. Sounds like finding new friends, and that's great. I am surprised so many of these guys are content to "just be friends." It is generally accepted that most men aren't interested in spending time with women unless they think they might want to end up in bed with them at some point. But like GT says above, as long as that's the understanding going forward, all's fair. And who knows, you might click with someone and forget ALL about the other one. Meanwhile, you're making new memories to crowd out the old ones and having fun. Good luck.

[smackie9]

IMO it's about how we view relationships and how our priorities change when we hit mid life. We learn the value of developing friendships, and it's not all about getting laid. There is reward in just enjoying ones company, and sharing things in common.

[Satu]

Spending an intimate, but platonic evening with a member of the opposite sex, is one of life's great pleasures.

 

 

A lovely dinner followed by a play, ballet, or an exhibition preview, is definitely my idea of a good time

 

Its all good.

[Shanex]

Yep, I've had a couple good friends I spent excellent evening with, from the opposite sex and it was platonic. No ambiguity, just enjoying spending time with a woman without all the ''stress'' dating / sex / relationship stuffs may implies.

 

It's all good. I need more female friends like that too. They are as good friends as my pals are.

[GemmaUK]

Gorilla has a very valid point but it appears you have that in hand already.

 

Sounds amazing to me! I would love it!

 

It also sounds very healthy and just the right level for you just now.

 

Enjoy!!