What is my ex trying to do here?

[thedudeyo]

Previous post would describe my situation. Met a girl 4 years ago, fell in love best friends all of that stuff lol. Broke up last year June, I took it hard and after 2 months just stopped talking to her.

 

She would message me on and off we would talk sometimes , she'd throw around words leading me to false hope and I just didn't pay attention no more. Never analysed anything she said just left it alone. Now a year after break up she called and texted more for about 3 months.

 

She use to contact me almost every month for stupid things dumb questions and all that but I just think she wanted to know I was around.

 

So about a month ago after talking for about 3 months I called her to put this thing to bed. While we were talking I asked her out and stuff, she didn't really try to meet me that never bothered me. Also last year I called her and asked her if she wanted to start over she said she didn't know.

 

Now when I called her last month I asked her what was up cause I'm not gonna see her we not gonna talk as much because of her school, she said she will be busy and stuff, told her I think about her a lot, she said I shouldn't think about her that much. So that just put it to rest for me. So after that I stopped talking to her.

 

Boom again, sent me a pic with her dog. Outta nowhere. I asked her to see that dog 2 months ago she didn't show me until a few days ago. I said he looked cute and that was it.

 

Now again a few days ago she just asked me bout my job. Not even a hey just a question.

 

She knows im not up for a friendship so why the constant contacting? Since we broke up she doesn't let 30 days past without messaging me something. I really dont know why. I know tge answer is block her, i did and she use to msg me on fb. I unblocked her because I have something's to collect from her but other than that we have no reason to speak.

 

But yet she keeps messaging me. Always something, some question. And I'll be frank, I do love her. I will always love and care for her but I tried too much with her and I'm not willing to anymore

 

What you think is going through her hedd?

[Zahara]

You're the emotional tampon. You're comfortable, familiar and accessible when she needs attention or company. I bet when another guy comes into her line of vision, you'll be history. For now, you'll do.

 

You said she knows you aren't ready for a friendship -- but you keep opening the door and responding to her so IF YOU aren't ready for a friendship then YOU need to take the necessary steps to enforce that boundary. It is not her responsibility to guard your heart. And seeing that she's been pretty clear many times about where you both stand - it's about time you find acceptance and move on.

Edited September 16, 2016 by Zahara

[sooshi]

Who cares what's going through her head? You continue to put yourself through this misery.

 

She knows you're not up for a friendship but she keeps contacting you because she knows she can get attention from you whenever she wants. She knows you're pining after her, and you boost her ego.

 

If you broke up last year June and your stuff is still with her, it's probably stuff you don't really need. Let it go.

 

Block her everywhere so you can finally start healing.

 

Edited to add: YES! to what Zahara said.

[aloneinaz]

Listen my friend.. Why you haven't block this girl or told her to F-off A LONG TIME AGO is mind boggling. She's playing you like a piano. She likes the attention from you and the fact that she knows you covet her. You're getting played by a very immature girl with low character.

 

Do what the others have stated. Block her number or change yours. You need to ignore her completely and get out there and date other girls who want to make you a BIG priority in their lives.

[whatnot]

And I'll be frank, I do love her. I will always love and care for her

 

 

Maybe, maybe not.

 

Good luck

[Satu]

You'll never move forward if you keep looking backwards.

 

 

*No direct contact.

*No sending or receiving of messages.

*Block any means she might use to contact you.

*No replies to anything that gets through your blocks.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete from all social media.

*No monitoring of her on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying.

 

 

Take care.

[Shanex]

She is trying to replace the relationship in a friendship in which you are just supposed to be happy that everything is going well in her life. Does she even pose questions about you? Like being still interested in you? I don't think so, she's just bored and I've been in this situation before, stop responding. Move on.

 

A poster above is right, once she has a new boyfriend you'll be history and you'll regret having wasted your time responding to her for nothing.

[thedudeyo]

you guys are amazing. Thanks a million. I guessed I liked the attention to u know but its not what i want anymore. You guys really put everything into perspective for me. Im just gonna change my number and burn that bridge once and for all. Thank you all so much. Good night.

[sooshi]

Kudos to you for picking up your self-respect and changing your number! That will be such a big step for you. A very courageous and self-loving act!

[turnera]

Previous post would describe my situation. Met a girl 4 years ago, fell in love best friends all of that stuff lol. Broke up last year June, I took it hard and after 2 months just stopped talking to her.

 

She would message me on and off we would talk sometimes , she'd throw around words leading me to false hope and I just didn't pay attention no more. Never analysed anything she said just left it alone. Now a year after break up she called and texted more for about 3 months.

 

She use to contact me almost every month for stupid things dumb questions and all that but I just think she wanted to know I was around.

 

So about a month ago after talking for about 3 months I called her to put this thing to bed. While we were talking I asked her out and stuff, she didn't really try to meet me that never bothered me. Also last year I called her and asked her if she wanted to start over she said she didn't know.

 

Now when I called her last month I asked her what was up cause I'm not gonna see her we not gonna talk as much because of her school, she said she will be busy and stuff, told her I think about her a lot, she said I shouldn't think about her that much. So that just put it to rest for me. So after that I stopped talking to her.

 

Boom again, sent me a pic with her dog. Outta nowhere. I asked her to see that dog 2 months ago she didn't show me until a few days ago. I said he looked cute and that was it.

 

Now again a few days ago she just asked me bout my job. Not even a hey just a question.

 

She knows im not up for a friendship so why the constant contacting? Since we broke up she doesn't let 30 days past without messaging me something. I really dont know why. I know tge answer is block her, i did and she use to msg me on fb. I unblocked her because I have something's to collect from her but other than that we have no reason to speak.

 

But yet she keeps messaging me. Always something, some question. And I'll be frank, I do love her. I will always love and care for her but I tried too much with her and I'm not willing to anymore

 

What you think is going through her head?

Sounds like YOU were the one doing the contacting. Are YOU ready to give her up?

[thedudeyo]

I use to contact a lot last year during break up. That sucked can't believe I let myself be like that. I stopped talking to her alot, shed always come back with sumn, wanting to return jewellery and calling me, reminiscing and all that.

 

I did give her up. I gave up all hope last year but like I said she always come back and communicate, leading me on with false hope.

 

But that's not the case anymore. That's behind me now. And if I had to be real about it she was the one that gave me and us up and never really made an attempt to work on it or try to reconcile. Just throw around words. So I didn't give up anything. I just don't want her in my life anymore. There's nothing there anymore, I tried in vain so I'm done now.