Jump to content

the guy i was seeing got a gf but cheated on her with me

iwontsettle

By iwontsettle
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

iwontsettle Member

iwontsettle

Posted
Posted

so I met lets just call him mac nearly a year ago and we were hooking up for a good three months before things went to crap and then we did the occasional hook up for the next few months until he got a gf.

 

now the weekend before he became official with her he called me looking for a bootycall but i didnt go see him. about a week after he became official with i put something on social media that got back to him and we ended up having a disagreement about it but talked it out so that we didnt have any issues.

 

three weeks later he calls me cause he said he wanted to talk face to face to sort every thing out but i was under the impression we had already done this just not face to face. so i went and seen him are we talked about our problems and he told me the reason we didnt go further into a serious relationship was only because the timing wasnt right and he wasnt ready but im not sure i believe him. that night we ended up sleeping together so he cheated on his gf.

 

before we slept together he had said about our timing not being right and he said the new girl is like his best friend and all that but he also said that she is not attractive and she is **** in bed then told me that i am attractive and good in bed. was he just saying that.. im so confused because he has made me feel like he still likes me but i feel like im just being an idiot to think that..

 

Also from everything i know about him its the first time he has cheated on a partner which confuses me as well like if he likes the gf so much why would he put him self in the situation where he could cheat with me..

 

is there really no way he still has feelings.. its making my head spin and i hate it. please any advice is welcome but please dont be rude this is a guy i completely fell in love with and i cant help my feelings sometimes

BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

Posted
Posted

You can't help your feelings but you need to think with your head now and stay far, far away from this guy. You don't really want to get tangled up with a guy who treats both you and this other girl with such little respect, do you?

 

He cheated on his girlfriend with you. That is not ok.

 

You need to find someone who is available to be in a relationship with you, if you do indeed want to be more than a booty call for someone who doesn't care enough about you to actually make the effort to date you. Sorry :(

  • Like 1
angel.eyes Established Member

angel.eyes

Posted
Posted

The guy is happy to use you as his booty call in secret, but doesn't see you as relationship material or even good enough to let other people know he associates with you.

 

You may be in love with him, but he doesn't feel the same way. He couldn't even put in the effort to come see you when he was horny.

 

You can do better. Stop all contact with him. Find someone who thinks enough of you that they want a relationship with you. This guy has nothing worthwhile to offer.

  • Like 1
elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

Posted
Posted
so I met lets just call him mac nearly a year ago and we were hooking up for a good three months before things went to crap and then we did the occasional hook up for the next few months until he got a gf.

 

She is gf material and you are hook up material to him. I know you love him but he doesn't love you.

He still used you to hook up with and you let him, knowing he has a gf.

 

...he said the new girl is like his best friend and all that but he also said that she is not attractive and she is **** in bed then told me that i am attractive and good in bed. was he just saying that.. im so confused because he has made me feel like he still likes me but i feel like im just being an idiot to think that..

She may or may not be more attractive or better in bed than you but he needs to say these things to keep you sweet, so that he gets to enjoy having sex with two women, both, no doubt besotted with him.

What's not for him to like? What an ego boost!

He is "da man".

Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

Posted
Posted
so I met lets just call him mac nearly a year ago and we were hooking up for a good three months before things went to crap and then we did the occasional hook up for the next few months until he got a gf.

 

now the weekend before he became official with her he called me looking for a bootycall but i didnt go see him. about a week after he became official with i put something on social media that got back to him and we ended up having a disagreement about it but talked it out so that we didnt have any issues.

 

three weeks later he calls me cause he said he wanted to talk face to face to sort every thing out but i was under the impression we had already done this just not face to face. so i went and seen him are we talked about our problems and he told me the reason we didnt go further into a serious relationship was only because the timing wasnt right and he wasnt ready but im not sure i believe him. that night we ended up sleeping together so he cheated on his gf.

 

before we slept together he had said about our timing not being right and he said the new girl is like his best friend and all that but he also said that she is not attractive and she is **** in bed then told me that i am attractive and good in bed. was he just saying that.. im so confused because he has made me feel like he still likes me but i feel like im just being an idiot to think that..

 

Also from everything i know about him its the first time he has cheated on a partner which confuses me as well like if he likes the gf so much why would he put him self in the situation where he could cheat with me..

 

is there really no way he still has feelings.. its making my head spin and i hate it. please any advice is welcome but please dont be rude this is a guy i completely fell in love with and i cant help my feelings sometimes

 

This guy is blowing smoke up your a*s. He probably does think you're attractive and a good in bed. But, he wants his cake and eat it too.

 

Even if he says he will drop the other girl for you, he won't. He'll go back to her and blow smoke up her rear end to keep her on the side. You'll be rowing the same boat she is at some point.

 

Also from everything i know about him -- You don't know anything about this guy. It could very well be the first time he cheated on a partner but I doubt it will be the last.

 

There is a saying: For every rat you see there are 50 more behind it or waiting for it . . .

Buddhist Established Member

Buddhist

Posted
Posted
its the first time he has cheated on a partner which confuses me as well like if he likes the gf so much why would he put him self in the situation where he could cheat with me..

 

It may or may not be the first time to cheat on a gf, but in any case statistics say it won't be the last time. No likely anyhow. He put himself in that situation because he saw sex on tap. Thats it. Don't read into this like he's conflicted about who he loves etc etc. That will bring you heartache. Accept that some men will do anything is sex is on offer and it means very little to them besides a few minutes of pleasure.

 

is there really no way he still has feelings.. its making my head spin and i hate it. please any advice is welcome but please dont be rude this is a guy i completely fell in love with and i cant help my feelings sometimes

 

I understand you can't help your feelings but you are wanting to see something that isn't there. You fell in love and can't imagine why he's not. He's not because he has a different chemical balance to you that allows him to compartmentalise sex, affection and love. You are unable to do that by the looks of things. You need do this....

 

- Accept he chose someone else and does not see you as special in any way.

- Accept that the 'prize' the other girl got is a cheating, lying bf. Not exactly a win.

- Accept that even if he chose you he would have cheated on you too. Is that really what you want to sign up for?

- Accept that harbouring these feelings for him only puts you in the position of being exploited by him, and beginning a habit of dating men who do the same thing.

- Expect more for yourself and walk away from this.

  • Like 1
Methodical Established Member

Methodical

Posted
Posted
so i went and seen him are we talked about our problems and he told me the reason we didnt go further into a serious relationship was only because the timing wasnt right and he wasnt ready but im not sure i believe him. that night we ended up sleeping together so he cheated on his gf.

 

So when he was ready, he chose someone else. He is lying. You see the truth bc you say you aren't sure you believe him, but you don't want to accept the truth bc it hurts.

  • Like 2
smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted (edited)

He is using that as an excuse to keep getting sex. I'm sure he enjoys sex with her as much as he does with you...BUT you are silly enough to fall for his bs. End result: he is getting sex from two women instead on one....so who's the winner here?

Edited by smackie9
smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted

This is when I would find it acceptable to spill the beans to his GF. This guy is a real jerk.

  • Author
iwontsettle Member

iwontsettle

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thank you guys for your feedback I know what you are all saying I just get so lost in my mind sometimes when I let my heart take over. And I just wanted to thank you for not putting me down horribly for what I did I was nervous to ask for that reason

  • Author
iwontsettle Member

iwontsettle

Posted
  • Author
Posted
So when he was ready, he chose someone else. He is lying. You see the truth bc you say you aren't sure you believe him, but you don't want to accept the truth bc it hurts.

I felt that.. why when he was finally ready did he go and choose someone else I know what your saying

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...