bubbl Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 Has anyone done this? Having really stupidly broken nc after several months (this is from an ex of 6 years), I went on his twitter and he was talking abt this girl whom he works closely with on research papers. This is one of his close friends (whom he hid from me for much of our relationship). I know he probably has a crush on her- she is very pretty, blond and v intelligent. And I can't help but compare myself and hate myself. She is stunning and I know she is v close to him too. Not sure whether they're now dating and frankly don't want to know, but even if they weren't- I just keep thinking- this is the type of girl he'd prefer and that's why he ended it, after so many sacrifices I'd made for him. Just on a stupid downward spiral of comparing myself. Has anyone ever done this? I know it's completely unhealthy and ridiculous. I just saw her photos and felt so ugly and worthless in comparison. He has spent a lot of time working with her- he studied abroad and so I never met her. He has now tweeted abt their paper being published and I know he's very proud of her. He didn't put half that time into our relationship. I'm sorry if this sounds bitter. Anyway, I know there is someone out there who will appreciate my qualities and I need to just re-focus on myself.
sooshi Posted September 15, 2016 Posted September 15, 2016 Yes. It's awful. Block him everywhere so you don't have to put yourself through that unnecessary pain. Also, work on your self-worth/self-respect to minimize such comparisons. Take care. 2
Author bubbl Posted September 15, 2016 Author Posted September 15, 2016 Thanks Sooshie. I've blocked him everywhere, but on twitter you can still view them when you're not logged in (yes, I know what I sound like). Anyway, I'll try my very best not to check his page as it's just self-torture. Thought I was over him as it's been over 7 months, but clearly will not be over this guy for a few years I guess. I'm furious with him for all his secrecy and his arrogance and for leading me on for so many years, and yet so upset that he may be moving on with this girl. God, it must have been easier in the days before social media (i know this is no excuse, and the buck stops with me).
Author bubbl Posted September 15, 2016 Author Posted September 15, 2016 Now listening to 'Best Thing I Never Had' by Beyonce. lol.
aloneinaz Posted September 15, 2016 Posted September 15, 2016 Thanks Sooshie. I've blocked him everywhere, but on twitter you can still view them when you're not logged in (yes, I know what I sound like). Anyway, I'll try my very best not to check his page as it's just self-torture. Thought I was over him as it's been over 7 months, but clearly will not be over this guy for a few years I guess. I'm furious with him for all his secrecy and his arrogance and for leading me on for so many years, and yet so upset that he may be moving on with this girl. God, it must have been easier in the days before social media (i know this is no excuse, and the buck stops with me). It's a choice to take way too long to get over someone. You're choosing that path by stalking his social media sweetie. Why give so much time and attention to someone who kicked you out of their lives? Who cares what he's up to now. Again, YOU need to decide that just because he didn't feel it w/you that doesn't mean there's not thousands of guys who would. Everyone's been kicked to the curb. We dust ourselves off, heal, get over it and start dating again to find someone we do connect with. You'll be fine if you stop stalking him on social media. He's your past. Leave him there by not looking at old pics, emails, texts, etc.. Get rid of it all. Focus on your future and the hot guy you want to find to spend you life with. Get out there and mix it up looking for him. You'll never meet him if you're at home, looking at the ex's stuff. 2
Trinity_84 Posted September 15, 2016 Posted September 15, 2016 You could use a block-site app for your browser and block his Twitter page (and hers, if that helps). That way when you're not logged in and try to open it up, it won't. And that might deter you from trying to dig deeper. Has worked wonders for me Just Google Block Site App for whatever browser you use. ps: maybe she's more his "type", so what? If everyone had the same type the world would be a boring place. You are someone's type, as well. Be strong, you got this! 1
DarrenB Posted September 15, 2016 Posted September 15, 2016 Bubbl mate. You are unique, we all are. We all have our own flaws but we also have our own personal positive attributes about us, and I'm sure you have many. She and anyone else she wants to involve her life in are not good enough to be appreciated or thought of by YOU. It doesn't concern you anymore and shouldn't. If you gave her everything she could ask for, that's the most unique thing about it. She will never find someone or something to a certain caliber of which you gave her. 1
Author bubbl Posted September 15, 2016 Author Posted September 15, 2016 Thanks, all Since the last post, I've deleted my search history and haven't checked up on him again. My life is such a joke at the mo. After this 6 year relationship, I had another shorter relationship (6 months) where we broke up recently. We had planned a trip for a few weeks, and I naively thought that maybe after a few weeks of NC,we could both go on the trip as friends, with a few other people. My ex just emailed me saying that we shouldn't go on the trip. Think i'm going to deactivate everything for a while and just have some alone time. Don't even want another relationship for a while and need to get back my confidence after dealing with two douchebags in quick succession. Trying not to feel down abt this, but obviously I am. I know how incredibly naive i was thinking we could go on this trip together as pure friends. I think a part of me hoped it would rekindle some feelings on my ex's part but obviously he doesn't care and is moving on. FYI, I know i don't need to justify myself- especially to cool peeps like you, but i'm no ugly lol. I'm pretty attractive & intelligent (apart from matters of the heart, lol), but not going to search for love. let it find me as they say in all the advice columns. tbh, just being by myself and my friends is way better than being hurt yet again by someone.
Author bubbl Posted September 15, 2016 Author Posted September 15, 2016 *a weekend trip which was scheduled to take place in a few weeks (before we split up)
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