Is anyone actually this busy? What to tell her?

[Mariofan601]

I'm 22 (I know, late for dating) and I signed up for eHarmony. I was talking with a girl for about two months until we first saw each other (Communication was very long because she works two jobs, volunteers, and goes to school. So it resulted in almost one msg a day.) It was also stated in her profile that she wants to find someone with patience because her time is very occupied with all of this.

 

We've now been seeing each other for about a month and a half but only been on 5 dates. I really enjoy her company and I think she's an awesome person. She says that she enjoys spending time with me as well. Because of her crazy schedule, we only see each other about once every week or 2. I try to text her as much as I can, but she can sometimes take hours to respond, assuming because she's very busy. I usually initiate contact, but there's been a few times where she has as well.

 

On our dates, we usually go out for drinks or go see movies. I usually pay for everything, but she has stepped up and payed for our outings as well on occasion, even when I convince her not too. Our dates aren't usually too long, usually about 3-4 hours because she has to get up early the next day for work. She doesn't show very much affection, but we have kissed and have held each other during movies. I'm a pretty shy person, so I don't show much affection either, but I have been increasingly trying too the more we date.

 

My main question is that, when I asked her out sometime this week, she said she may not have time because she has a lot to do to prepare for school coming up, along with working her two jobs. I don't know if it's just my anxiety, but i sometimes feel that this is a little far fetched. She's only ever cancelled and rescheduled one time. She didn't reschedule this time, but suggested we do next week once she gets her schedule. I don't mind this, but I've had girls say stuff like this in the past and they usually end up lying.

 

I want to text her something about this, but I don't know what to say. One other thing I've noticed was that she recently took her eharmony pictures down from her profile. Not sure if that means anything, but it's worth noting.

 

Thank you

[Patrice]

and people get impatient. If you really like her, and it sounds like you do, ask her if this is all the time she can spend dating, and decide if that works for you.

[Bialy]

She's too busy to date.

 

You either accept that you're a low priority for the time being or you move on.

[Bialy]

If this is becoming too stressful and drawn out for you, just tell her,

 

Before you see her again, text her something along the lines of:

 

"Hey. Actually, I don't want to meet up anymore. I'd really like to be able to date someone who is more available and you have a lot on your plate right now."

 

If she says why - just say it's hard to get to know someone who you can't see regularly and spontaneously.

[GunslingerRoland]

Sure there are people that busy.. I wouldn't want to date one though. The whole relationship sounds like it's moving way too slow, I wouldn't get my hopes up.

[angel.eyes]

This is nothing new. It's been this way all along, and she is offering next week. So, set something up for next week.

 

What you need to ask yourself is whether this level of interaction is acceptable to you. If it isn't, then have a thoughtful discussion about it on your next date. No ultimatums. Just a statement of your expectations and needs from the person you're dating. If during the conversation she's unwilling to compromise or adjust (and that's her choice), then you need to decide whether you continue to invest emotionally in someone who is only half there, or whether you try again with someone else. If it were to continue as is, in your shoes, I would try again and look for someone different...but that's me. You need to decide what feels right for you.

[Redhead14]

I'm 22 (I know, late for dating) and I signed up for eHarmony. I was talking with a girl for about two months until we first saw each other (Communication was very long because she works two jobs, volunteers, and goes to school. So it resulted in almost one msg a day.) It was also stated in her profile that she wants to find someone with patience because her time is very occupied with all of this.

 

We've now been seeing each other for about a month and a half but only been on 5 dates. I really enjoy her company and I think she's an awesome person. She says that she enjoys spending time with me as well. Because of her crazy schedule, we only see each other about once every week or 2. I try to text her as much as I can, but she can sometimes take hours to respond, assuming because she's very busy. I usually initiate contact, but there's been a few times where she has as well.

 

On our dates, we usually go out for drinks or go see movies. I usually pay for everything, but she has stepped up and payed for our outings as well on occasion, even when I convince her not too. Our dates aren't usually too long, usually about 3-4 hours because she has to get up early the next day for work. She doesn't show very much affection, but we have kissed and have held each other during movies. I'm a pretty shy person, so I don't show much affection either, but I have been increasingly trying too the more we date.

 

My main question is that, when I asked her out sometime this week, she said she may not have time because she has a lot to do to prepare for school coming up, along with working her two jobs. I don't know if it's just my anxiety, but i sometimes feel that this is a little far fetched. She's only ever cancelled and rescheduled one time. She didn't reschedule this time, but suggested we do next week once she gets her schedule. I don't mind this, but I've had girls say stuff like this in the past and they usually end up lying.

 

I want to text her something about this, but I don't know what to say. One other thing I've noticed was that she recently took her eharmony pictures down from her profile. Not sure if that means anything, but it's worth noting.

 

Thank you

 

You don't tell her anything . . . you sit back a little and let her reach out to you after she gets her schedule. The ball is in her court.

 

And, yes, some people are that busy . . . but they will make time for someone the really like as soon as they can. Sit tight, don't challenge her in a text. That's bad form. If she is that busy and you give her crap, you'll blow any chance you do have. Since you don't know what's what, for sure, it's best to not do or say anything.

 

She took down her profile . . . because she likes you that much, she found someone else or, or, or . . . it doesn't matter.

 

And, once a week in the first month or so with good communication in between dates (not over the top) but consistent, is appropriate and about right to keep things interesting, etc. If you're seeing each other all the time and talking, etc., it's gets a little boring, not much to talk about when you do see each other.

[smackie9]

This is not a romance you are just company, LIKE HANGING OUT AS FRIENDS

 

Date other people she is not your gf.

[phineas]

She isn't too busy.

She's just not that into you.

 

Date other women.

[Toodaloo]

I am a very busy person. I have numberous charities I volunteer for on top of my hobbies and I work long hours...

 

I can tell you now, when I like a guy I FIND time to date him. I work out a way to make it work. First 6 months of so is only twice a week anyway.

 

My advice. Sit back. Relax. See if she bothers to contact you.

 

If not you have your answer.

 

If she leaves it over 3 days starting now then its really not worth your time or bother. She isn't all that into you and you are just "there" so she can say she has a boyfriend.

 

Leave it and move on. Far less stressful than worrying about it.