Progression Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 Long story but here it goes. My ex was my best friend before we started dated. We dated for 3 year(1 and half years was long distance). She cheated on me multiple times and half assed apologized(she apologized for doing it and when I asked her to do one thing to make it up to me she initially says yes....than she backs out of it later and doesn't apologize for not doing it). She broke up with me(distance, I was broke, she didn't respect me) and started dating immediately. 1 year and some months after the break up we get close as friends again. we got horny, feelings re-arose and had sex 2x, but I came early both times(never happened when we were in a relationship)....to be honest a part of me didn't want to have a long session with someone that doesn't respect me as a man. But we still remained very close friends after that...I felt as we got closer as friends again she stopped dating and sleeping with other men, but I am not sure. The whole time after we broke up I haven't dated/slept/kissed anyone(I want my future wife to feel special and exclusive) I really want to get married in like 2-3 years so I need to date now. So I told her that I am going to start. She acted ok with it, but I feel like she is not. When I communicate with her I feel something is wrong(I am pretty good with sensing this with her). I feel she is upset....I don't understand she is dating other people?? When we had a talk 6 months after she broke up with me, she gave me a list of what I needed to do for us to get back together and I gave her a list. I said yes to her list and have worked continuously on her list. She said no right away to me list, with no apology. So why is she upset....its very clear that she doesn't want me...she keeps on saying how she wants to be just friends. She talks about how im going to marry some other person. She even blocked me on all social media and gave me another half ass apology when I said I don't like being blocked. Please help me understand. She is a great amazing human, and I really like spending time with her. She helped me with lots in Life. I just don't understand why she is upset. This is what she showed me she wanted with her actions and words. I'm lost 1
aloneinaz Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 My friend, you must really love drama, BS and pain. Most people break up and never talk to the ex again for all the reasons you wrote about. Nothing ever good comes from it. You just drag out the final ending w/buckets of drama, stress and BS. What you should do? STOP TALKING TO THIS EX. She can't be your friend, pal or buddy anymore. Once you cross over from friend to lover, you can't be "pals" again. You shouldn't give a flying hoot what she thinks because you're not in communication with her. She should be your past. You need to make a hard decision. (A) Cut contact with her permanently, date others to find what you want and need. Or, (B) continue down the path you're on with this contact w/her and all the drama and BS it's bringing your life. I'd go with A 5
Zahara Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 It's because she doesn't want to lose control of her lap dog. You come off as someone who has no self-respect and self-value. And for someone like her, you're the perfect kinda of guy to keep around to use. I'd rethink the amazing person comment. Someone cheats on you multiple times, finds no remorse in their actions and what do you do -- you accept them back into your life again and allow them to manipulate and mind f*** the hell out of you. Two choices -- cut her off and move on with your life or go back to her and be prepared to get stomped on because that's about the only thing you've taught her. 6
LD1990 Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 She is a great amazing human, and I really like spending time with her. Yeah, she sure sounds like it. She treats you like this because she has no respect for you, and the fact that you allow it shows you have no respect for yourself. Any time a partner cheats, whether they give you a half-ass apology or a real apology after, you need to end that relationship. The second you take them back, they know in the back of their head "I own you." It tells them that they can do whatever they want and get away with it, and they will do it again, guaranteed. She has cheated on you multiple times, never really apologized, dumped you, then had the nerve to give you a list of ways you needed to improve to be worthy of her. When you tried to give her a list of your own, she gave you a flat "no," which shows you how little she values you. If you're the type of man who allows that, no woman will ever respect you. And yeah, go no contact with this toxic cheater. She's treating you like some dog she can kick around while she gets nailed by other guys. 8
Redhead14 Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 Don't be a doormat . . . she's a chicken sh*t. She wants you to keep you in orbit in case, she can't find anyone else. She's afraid she won't be able to find anyone else or, if she's with someone else, it might not work. She has no right to be angry. And, she has no right to try to manipulate YOUR life or be involved in decisions that are about YOU. 3
stillafool Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 Stop communicating with her and for goodness sake do not tell her about your future dating plans. As a matter of fact she has blocked you so block her back so you are rid of this drama and go about dating other girls. 2
Author Progression Posted September 14, 2016 Author Posted September 14, 2016 Don't be a doormat . . . she's a chicken sh*t. She wants you to keep you in orbit in case, she can't find anyone else. She's afraid she won't be able to find anyone else or, if she's with someone else, it might not work. She has no right to be angry. And, she has no right to try to manipulate YOUR life or be involved in decisions that are about YOU. She isn't chicken sh*t, but I am being a doormat:eek: 3
GorillaTheater Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 She isn't chicken sh*t, but I am being a doormat:eek: Seems like a good time to change that. 2
Author Progression Posted September 14, 2016 Author Posted September 14, 2016 It's because she doesn't want to lose control of her lap dog. You come off as someone who has no self-respect and self-value. And for someone like her, you're the perfect kinda of guy to keep around to use. I'd rethink the amazing person comment. Someone cheats on you multiple times, finds no remorse in their actions and what do you do -- you accept them back into your life again and allow them to manipulate and mind f*** the hell out of you. Two choices -- cut her off and move on with your life or go back to her and be prepared to get stomped on because that's about the only thing you've taught her. You are right....the only thing is that when we started dating we really didnt want to ruin our friendship so we mad a promise that no matter what we would be friends even if the relationship didn't work out
sooshi Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 You are right....the only thing is that when we started dating we really didnt want to ruin our friendship so we mad a promise that no matter what we would be friends even if the relationship didn't work out It was a promise made with good intentions, but some promises are better broken than kept. This is one of them. Take care. 3
Author Progression Posted September 14, 2016 Author Posted September 14, 2016 It was a promise made with good intentions, but some promises are better broken than kept. This is one of them. Take care. How do you suggest I tell her. I am a Man of my Word. What is the best way to put it to her. I see that she doesn't really apologizes whole hearthly to anyone in her life...so I don't take it too personally. I have no problem seeing her with others because she made it very clear that she doesn't want me.
stillafool Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 You tell her by blocking her back. She has already blocked you which means she doesn't want to communicate. Just block her back and move on. She will get the message and see you as strong. 2
Redhead14 Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 She isn't chicken sh*t, but I am being a doormat:eek: I said that she is A chicken ****, which means she's afraid to deal with this like a mature adult and move on instead of trying to drag you around on a string . . .
ExpatInItaly Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 How do you suggest I tell her. I am a Man of my Word. What is the best way to put it to her. I see that she doesn't really apologizes whole hearthly to anyone in her life...so I don't take it too personally. I have no problem seeing her with others because she made it very clear that she doesn't want me. Like this: "Ex, you are a huge jerk-wad. I don't make friends with jerk-wads."
preraph Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 She's just all about her. Wants her cake and eat it too. You need to get away from her because she is going to block all females from coming around you, and don't think for a moment that she won't.
DrReplyInRhymes Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 I said that she is A chicken ****, which means she's afraid to deal with this like a mature adult and move on instead of trying to drag you around on a string . . . like a tampon?
Zahara Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 How do you suggest I tell her. I am a Man of my Word. What is the best way to put it to her. I see that she doesn't really apologizes whole hearthly to anyone in her life...so I don't take it too personally. I have no problem seeing her with others because she made it very clear that she doesn't want me. Honor promises with people that treat you with respect. For those that treat you like a piece of crap, you are not obligated to treat them with respect nor do they deserve honesty. She cheated on you multiple times -- she is entitled to nothing. 2
greenly24 Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 I'm sorry you're feeling dumbfounded by this situation. Relationships can be confusing at times. Still she's lucky to have someone to care for her the way that you do. You said that she seems upset with you, but have you asked her why? And I know you said that y'all are friends, but are you sure she feels the same way? Maybe you could sit with her and really talk about your relationship and where it's headed.
Author Progression Posted September 14, 2016 Author Posted September 14, 2016 I'm sorry you're feeling dumbfounded by this situation. Relationships can be confusing at times. Still she's lucky to have someone to care for her the way that you do. You said that she seems upset with you, but have you asked her why? And I know you said that y'all are friends, but are you sure she feels the same way? Maybe you could sit with her and really talk about your relationship and where it's headed. She definitely doesn't want me. In fact she acts like it is really easy not to be with me, she likes chilling with me. However she does not like me in that way anymore. 1
springy Posted September 15, 2016 Posted September 15, 2016 My $0.02 - If you are serious about finding a wife this girl has to go. There are women out there who will be okay with this type of thing, but I'm pretty confident in saying that is the exception, not the rule.
OldSoulBiz Posted September 15, 2016 Posted September 15, 2016 Long story but here it goes. My ex was my best friend before we started dated. We dated for 3 year(1 and half years was long distance). She cheated on me multiple times and half assed apologized(she apologized for doing it and when I asked her to do one thing to make it up to me she initially says yes....than she backs out of it later and doesn't apologize for not doing it). She broke up with me(distance, I was broke, she didn't respect me) and started dating immediately. LMFAO. Stopped reading there.
Author Progression Posted September 15, 2016 Author Posted September 15, 2016 LMFAO. Stopped reading there. lol!!! you guys are making seem like an idiot...I need that. To realize its time to go. 1
Author Progression Posted September 15, 2016 Author Posted September 15, 2016 My $0.02 - If you are serious about finding a wife this girl has to go. There are women out there who will be okay with this type of thing, but I'm pretty confident in saying that is the exception, not the rule. So should I just stop answering her texts? or should I explain myself
sooshi Posted September 15, 2016 Posted September 15, 2016 You should just block her and end the drama.
Recommended Posts