First time through multiple relationships with a sex worker that feels real

[muskalleigh]

I am going through a personal life crisis I guess. Currently waiting on figuring out something right now. I will try to add real time posts as I can, but I am sure I will come back later to polish it up.

 

The main issue is I have not been in a committed relationship in over a decade. I am most likely a sex addict. I frequently pay for and frequently do not pay for sex. I've dated non working girls typically for less than a month. Working girls I've dated for longer. When I say dating a working girl, I define it by not paying for sex through money, favors, rides, drugs, etc. I am about to turn 32. Most of my friends, guys and girls, are married or in a long term commited relationship, or bachelors due to their work schedules/previous school schedules.

 

I am currently dating a prostitute and a drug addict. Lets call her Barbie. I find myself more and more frustrated with her, and I am baffled because the reasons I have, I am not sure why I feel the way I do. Most of the time I am comfortable with her habit and job, albeit comfortable ranges from just stomachable to its a job and she will eventually quit and also be sober. The other times I don't are when bullpoop drama happens where I am not sure if its just regukar relationship garbage that I as an indivdual have not learned how to cope with/she just the wrong girl.

 

One specific example is that she has consistently claimed she has no friends. That she is extremely lonely. I am not a drug user, but I have been around the sex industry for over a decade, and by proxy, I am used to drug addicts and the life, without living it first hand. Recently, I introduced her to another working girl, Stacy. Barbie is constantly tellin . me she doesnt like the girl, but when they are in person, Barbie is worshipping Stacy and spending almost all of her free time with Stacy. When I say I feel neglected, we live two and a half hours apart, she tells me she has to do it because Stacy is bipolar and crazy and will lose her top of she doesnt kiss Stacys ass.

 

Going to try and sum it up, because I am about to get busy, but will try to post sooner than later. Barbie says girls are like that, they say they hate each other behind each others back, then they love each other to their face. I counter, for one, you, Barbie, tell me she only acts nice to you when I am around, and you both say to me in private bull**** about each other. Currently they are living together, but Stacy is constantly saying she is going to kick Barbie out (so says Barbie to me).

 

They are staying in a hotel right now. Barbie lost her room at another place, Stacy took her in. Rough estimate prior to today, based on their independent advisements to me, Stacey has been paying anywhere from 60 percent to 90 percent of the room and drugs. Cumulatively, including today, Barbie has paid anywhere from 50 to 60 percent of room and drugs. Prior to yesterday, Stacey had been receiving 80 percent of the drugs. Since then, its been 50/50.

 

I opened my mouth since they both bitched to me about each other and I started splitting the drugs as a result. Stacey got mad after about ten hours of this, got upset, Barbie consoled her for the next 12 hours. I was planning on leaving 2 hours after that 12. I got upset as a result. Said I was just gunna leave 2 hours early, 2 hours of their working time so chance of quality time was too chaotic for me to want to stick around.

 

Are girls like this? 26 yo and a 30 yo. This **** is childish/immature/alien to me? Have i just not met users or girls who are like this? Should I leave early?

Edited September 14, 2016 by muskalleigh

[VeveCakes]

No not all girls are drug addict sex workers.

 

Thats the life of that lifestyle, its not because they are women.

 

Why do you date sex workers?

[muskalleigh]

No not all girls are drug addict sex workers.

 

Thats the life of that lifestyle, its not because they are women.

 

Why do you date sex workers?

 

My OP is not clear if you think I am asking if all girls are drug addict sex workers "DASW". I am asking if women, in that age range, are legitimatly seemingly as catty as an episode of Real Housewives.

 

 

Dont know what you mean that that is the lifestyle. Ive nevet experienceded this drama with previous DASWs.

 

I do it because there is less stigma when i say i am a sex addict, that i paid and pay for sex, usually both parties know it won't last, the adrenaline of being in an unknown environment, commonly i can have sex with other partners as long as emotions are not involved, a lot of reasons.

[VeveCakes]

No its not common in women that age or any age. Sure it happens sometimes...but it is very common with drug users, prostitutes, drug dealers...the underworld. That lifestyle brings TONNES of drama.

[muskalleigh]

No its not common in women that age or any age. Sure it happens sometimes...but it is very common with drug users, prostitutes, drug dealers...the underworld. That lifestyle brings TONNES of drama.

 

I appreciate your input. I believe I am getting too much focus on the "underworld." Catty behavior I have seen in middle school, high school and college. You seem to be focused on the underworld and the "drama" it brings when I am asking specific questions. I suppose this forum is not where I should be asking about the niche women I date.

 

I appreciate the help and will try to extrapolate from other threads regarding communication and relationship advice regarding a significant other and their relationships with their friends.

 

We semi patched things up, I don't think I finished posting what happened. Not even sure where I left off, but in the end, supposedly, S, is going to rehab for 30 days in about 6 hours.

 

That will solve the immediate problem, but I am not sure what it will bring in the future when B hopefully finds more friends. I'm not sure what it will bring, but yea. I am also not claiming to be of healthy mind, I am sober from drugs, but whatever.

 

Anyway, I appreciated your input.

[ExpatInItaly]

No, it's not common. Not among emotionally healthy women anyway.

 

You're "dating" in a pool of women rife with emotional problems and instability. Expect more of the same unless you start selecting women of a different demographic.

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

No, it's not common. Not among emotionally healthy women anyway.

 

You're "dating" in a pool of women rife with emotional problems and instability. Expect more of the same unless you start selecting women of a different demographic.

 

 

I agree. OP you've mentioned your a sex addict and that you haven't had a committed relationship for over a decade am I right? is that why you are dating these sex workers because somewhere in your head, you don't believe you can get or deserve a healthy, emotionally stable woman? do you date these woman out of desperation?

 

These woman who are sex workers and addicts bring so many problems, including possible health diseases. I would work on yourself and then attempt to broaden your horizons as these woman will only bring problems and more instability.

[VeveCakes]

I appreciate your input. I believe I am getting too much focus on the "underworld." Catty behavior I have seen in middle school, high school and college. You seem to be focused on the underworld and the "drama" it brings when I am asking specific questions. I suppose this forum is not where I should be asking about the niche women I date.

 

I appreciate the help and will try to extrapolate from other threads regarding communication and relationship advice regarding a significant other and their relationships with their friends.

 

We semi patched things up, I don't think I finished posting what happened. Not even sure where I left off, but in the end, supposedly, S, is going to rehab for 30 days in about 6 hours.

 

That will solve the immediate problem, but I am not sure what it will bring in the future when B hopefully finds more friends. I'm not sure what it will bring, but yea. I am also not claiming to be of healthy mind, I am sober from drugs, but whatever.

 

Anyway, I appreciated your input.

 

You are getting the focus on the underworld because that is what is bringing the drama. I live a very good life and professional career but I dated a big drug dealer for some time. I've seen and spent time in both sides of the world. Trust me when I say drugs and prostitutes bring more drama than any catty group of women ever would. These people are mentally unstable. If you continue to fish in that pond thats what you are going to get.

[preraph]

No. Real women who aren't addicts and aren't sex workers do not have the background to act this way. Addicts and sex workers generally come from bad backgrounds with no good modeling from their parents to show them a good way to be as an adult. Addicts are anesthetizing emotional pain most of the time, and sex workers are searching for some value and validation in exactly the wrong way. They come from a powerless background and see making money off others using their body as a bit of power.

 

Addicts are back biters, and so are sex workers. Get out of that venue, and you will find much more mature balanced women. Addicts don't mature once they're an addict. They don't acquire wisdom and become a mature person. It all comes to a halt and stunts them. My friend was a teenage alcoholic and when she finally got sober when she was about 30, her mindset was still that of a teenager and she had a lot of maturing to do from that point.

[muskalleigh]

I don't believe addicts and sex workers have a casual affect from upbringing. heroin hits all walks of life. you are correct in this particular situation with Barbie, but not sarah or s or whatever i called her. s had an unremarkable childhood except that she married her middle school sweetheart at 22 after college, was a nurse, had 3 Judd by 28, decided to have a threesome with a woman friend of hers

and her husband with the explicit directive that it would only occur with those three members again. she came home from work and caught her husband with that friend, another woman and cocaine. s was a casual drinker and smoked pot a handful of times prior. as far as she knew, so had her husband. she kicked him out, got on pills, lost her job, no divorce no child support, lost perse custody of kids, lost house, lost hope, and does backpage now.

 

in the end, barbie and s juat seperated 11 hours ago. s robbed b. i came in town and picked up the pieces. and no, i dont like doing that. i dont do that. im not a white knight, i have my own attachment issues. but i do resent the idea that drug users and sex workers are intrinsically flawed. most are functioning, you just dont know they use until they are no longer functioning. and outside of sex slavery, most sex workers do it for the money initially though out of a power difference so choice isn't there as their basic needs of good and shelter arent met, and the drug use either becomes their coffee or their nicotine to cope with their very real cognitive dissonance of their humanity and their actions.

 

what ive read from this thread ia that women who are not drug user ans or sex workers never have the kind of drama i spke of. reality if this most recent experience shows me that the drama was actually drama, and barbie failed to recognize it as such.

[muskalleigh]

semi answered why i do it already. i like sex with unknown partners, in unknown situations that may have an element of danger or risk that is beyond my control, sex workers dont care if i identify as a sex addict or have numerous partners (for most i am a trick, a date, a custo, a low life). the stigma associated with addiction, drug and sex, is a main reason there isnt an open discourse with addicts and friends or family. and that is one main reason i can do it, to conversate with fellow addicts/enablera, or wtv. anyway, surprise surprise, hit another bumo woth B rn.

[muskalleigh]

Most women ive met outside of sex workers are older, with kids, and want a relationship that involves me being a dad to their kid. im clear i dont want that. but one night stands and booty calls still happen, i am nog going to turn down sex just because they think they cam convince me otherwise, or because they didnt get the memo, i am not looking for a relationship, i enjoy casual sex and am at most open to friendship

[muskalleigh]

No. Real women who aren't addicts and aren't sex workers do not have the background to act this way. Addicts and sex workers generally come from bad backgrounds with no good modeling from their parents to show them a good way to be as an adult. Addicts are anesthetizing emotional pain most of the time, and sex workers are searching for some value and validation in exactly the wrong way. They come from a powerless background and see making money off others using their body as a bit of power.

 

Addicts are back biters, and so are sex workers. Get out of that venue, and you will find much more mature balanced women. Addicts don't mature once they're an addict. They don't acquire wisdom and become a mature person. It all comes to a halt and stunts them. My friend was a teenage alcoholic and when she finally got sober when she was about 30, her mindset was still that of a teenager and she had a lot of maturing to do from that point.

 

i havent hears the phrase back biter, what is that, simiar to a back stabber? one who sabotages someone who trusts them? i agree, addiction can retard growth and development. i need it just as much i suppose.