Frozensushi Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 My Ex and I broke up around 20 days ago, 17 days of NC thus far. Been doing everything I can to rid her from my life so I'm not reminded of her or the breakup. It's been going okay till about a week ago. The past 7 days I've been having very vivid dreams about my Ex or people who are associated with her. The dreams vary, from us working things out but then she becomes cold and angry, to my Ex and I being happy and loving with each other, to hanging out with her brother and feeling extremely uncomfortable by the strange way he's acting towards me as if he's angry and resentful for the way I treated his sister. They're all different but they all have to do with my Ex. The dreams are like fever dreams that don't change or stop until I wake up. This has been every night and I'm starting to lose my cool. The feelings I have in these dreams are very vivid and real, when I awake from them they immediately hit me emotionally. The dreams have been affecting my entire day. They are so vivid and the emotions/experiences are so real to me that it feels like I broke NC. I'm literally back to suffering like I did the days after the breakup because of it. Has anyone else gone through this? If so do you have any advice on how to stop these dreams from occurring? All my stress and intense anxiety have returned, it's literally a living nightmare. Any help or advice would greatly be appreciated. Thank you.
sooshi Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 Hey OP, I also have very vivid dreams about my ex. Just had one last night. I think it's fairly common to dream about them. Sure, the dreams will feel very real, both the experiences and the emotions within the dreams. I don't think there's any of way stopping the dreams from occurring, although I think the dreams decrease in frequency as more healing occurs and you move on more. I think your dreams are your way of feeling through the pain, the possibilities, the times shared. It's your way of moving on. Sometimes the dreams are pleasant, and sometimes they are not. It's all part of the healing process. Your breakup is still fresh. I would suggest stop counting the days of NC. Just let it happen. Take care. 1
Author Frozensushi Posted September 14, 2016 Author Posted September 14, 2016 although I think the dreams decrease in frequency as more healing occurs and you move on more. I think your dreams are your way of feeling through the pain, the possibilities, the times shared. It's your way of moving on. Sometimes the dreams are pleasant, and sometimes they are not. It's all part of the healing process. Your breakup is still fresh. I would suggest stop counting the days of NC. Just let it happen. Take care. Thanks for the insight sooshi. You are probably right. I remember reading once that dreams might be our brains reorganizing emotional self-defining memories. There's been much stress for me in the last couple of months, beyond just the breakup, it would be logical that my brain is trying to make sense of it all. I just wish it would stop. It's not easy trying to move on when I get a virtual "rubbing my nose in it" reminder. Perhaps you're right, this is just part of thr healing process and it's unavoidable. :\
angel.eyes Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 Yes, it's your brain working through the relationship and what happened. The dreams will eventually fade in intensity and frequency, then stop altogether. There's nothing you can do in the meanwhile, except place one foot in front of the other and continue on. Congrats on 17 days! Stay strong! 2
Author Frozensushi Posted September 16, 2016 Author Posted September 16, 2016 Yes, it's your brain working through the relationship and what happened. The dreams will eventually fade in intensity and frequency, then stop altogether. There's nothing you can do in the meanwhile, except place one foot in front of the other and continue on. Congrats on 17 days! Stay strong! Ugh. This has never happened to me. I've had two more of these dreams since I posted this 2 days ago. The most recent dream really hit me hard as it I saw my Ex, happy and affectionate with a new man. When I woke up I felt like I was going to be sick. Thanks for the advice and understanding. I realize now there's nothing I can do.
Trinity_84 Posted September 16, 2016 Posted September 16, 2016 Yup, I am over 6 months past BU and still constantly dream of the ex. Last night I had a dream where I saw them playing with some animals (my ex was good with them). I guess it's my subconscious telling me I liked that about them (how empathetic they were to stray dogs and cats and less fortunate people in general), so maybe my next partner could have similar qualities. That's how I choose to view the dream, and not in the "oh my god my ex was so great, why did I dump him" kinda way. 1
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