BC1980 Posted September 2, 2016 Posted September 2, 2016 Being friends after a breakup rarely happens. It's usually something that is said to let the other person down easier. Someone who dumped you isn't going to be a friend like you are expecting. You aren't going to chat everyday and meet up for lunch. Being friends after a breakup equals being on good terms and wishing the other person well. That's really all it means.
Author gracey123 Posted September 3, 2016 Author Posted September 3, 2016 He accused me of guilt tripping him and said that's why we're not talking, because I said I'm struggling with this. I'm going NC now because he's not very nice to me. I just don't understand why he's kept our photo
Author gracey123 Posted September 13, 2016 Author Posted September 13, 2016 Okay so back again with this drama. My ex text me last week asking for space, and saying I asked questions which I did so I did NC. I text him Sunday and we had a brief chat Monday night which he ended the conversation with "it's been nice talking to you, but I'm having an early night. Sweet dreams X" He hasn't been that nice to me in ages. I don't know what to think or how to handle the situation. Someone give me some insight what's going on in his head, and what my chances are of getting him back?
Blanco Posted September 13, 2016 Posted September 13, 2016 Only he knows what he's thinking. You need to stop communicating with him as others have advised you to do in the other threads you've created about this breakup. 2
Author gracey123 Posted September 13, 2016 Author Posted September 13, 2016 I wish it was that easy. I'm gonna try, it hurts too much. All of this is so head bending
sooshi Posted September 13, 2016 Posted September 13, 2016 Okay so back again with this drama. If you want the drama to end, you need to go no contact and move on. Take care. 1
Author gracey123 Posted September 13, 2016 Author Posted September 13, 2016 I just want him back and it's such a **** heap of a situation
sooshi Posted September 13, 2016 Posted September 13, 2016 Gracey, Sweetie, you're amazingly kind and sweet in your posts to others on here. I wish you would do the same for yourself in this situation. I understand that you're attached to him, but it's toxic. Drama, confusion, hurt, arguments, negative feelings. Many of us have had very difficult attachments, and going no contact is hard and painful. But it is a necessary tool for true healing, for true freedom. I hope that even if you don't feel like you're ready to be free of this mess, that you'll take the first courageous and fundamentally vital step and block this guy everywhere. Take care.
Author gracey123 Posted September 13, 2016 Author Posted September 13, 2016 Gracey, Sweetie, you're amazingly kind and sweet in your posts to others on here. I wish you would do the same for yourself in this situation. I understand that you're attached to him, but it's toxic. Drama, confusion, hurt, arguments, negative feelings. Many of us have had very difficult attachments, and going no contact is hard and painful. But it is a necessary tool for true healing, for true freedom. I hope that even if you don't feel like you're ready to be free of this mess, that you'll take the first courageous and fundamentally vital step and block this guy everywhere. Take care. You are so kind Sooshi! I lack so much willpower and I am what can be described as a bit of a doormat, I'm trying so hard and I think I could accept it more if he hadn't messed with my head so much. I don't think I deserved it at all
sooshi Posted September 13, 2016 Posted September 13, 2016 Gracey, You're right, you didn't deserve to be treated poorly. Let me say that again: You do not deserve to be treated poorly. Not then, not now, not ever. Let me say that in a more positive way: You, Gracey, deserve to be treated with respect, love, kindness, and compassion... today and every day. Take care. 1
Author gracey123 Posted September 13, 2016 Author Posted September 13, 2016 Thank you for being kind. I will resume no contact and just ignore him, he isn't worth all this chasing and I'm making a poo out of myself. I wish I could follow my own advice
sooshi Posted September 13, 2016 Posted September 13, 2016 I know you will be just fine, sweetie. It might not feel like it, but you're doing great. You already know he isn't worth all this chasing--and you're absolutely right about that! If you ever feel an urge to contact him, or if you need support, always know that you can post here. Take care.
Author gracey123 Posted September 14, 2016 Author Posted September 14, 2016 I don't understand why he's being nice to me. Second day of resumed NC!
Author gracey123 Posted September 14, 2016 Author Posted September 14, 2016 I'm so stupid. I'm in a rut. I'm going NC with him, even though he was lovely to me. I'm scared that he'll forget me, we were 11 months together and friends for 3 years. We were eachothers first love. I sent my last text yesterday before resuming NC. I can't bear the thought of him being with anyone else. Someone help me
sooshi Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 I think going NC is a very difficult and courageous act. Nothing stupid there. What you're feeling is normal, Gracey. You've only just started your process of healing. It's painful as you go through the feelings of withdrawal, but it does get easier.
Author gracey123 Posted September 14, 2016 Author Posted September 14, 2016 Hey sooshi I just don't get why he was so nice to me
DarrenB Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 (edited) If they decide to move on, feed you breadcrumbs in the process or anything like that, I'm afraid you're more than obliged to move on and forget about him. Maybe not so much forget about the memories and what not, because I'm sure there's no genuine regret... but you can't let his future decide yours. As harsh and difficult as it would be to think of it logically, you have to. If he wants to move on, and find someone else he's simply doing that to not be reminded of you and that you're out of his life. Whether that be temporary, long-term, indefinitely he is most likely doing it to move on with his own life. You now need to go through with it, respect him and yourself. Initiating NC is a hard process, you've done it so kudos. It will get harder, might get easier down the route, but you need to focus on yourself and not just him. It's not healthy for you at all and certainly isn't healthy for your emotional state, especially when it's still considered 'fresh'. Also, leaving it on good/neutral terms is BY FAR better than bad, of course... by personal experience. It really does take a toll on you, when you realise the person you assumed loved you with everything, cannot fight for you. Unfortunately, it's the way some people are and how things are supposed to be. It is somewhat inevitable. You got this, you have enough time and willpower to get through these difficult times. Keep occupied, don't dwell. You'll get there Edited September 14, 2016 by DarrenB
Author gracey123 Posted September 14, 2016 Author Posted September 14, 2016 I just want closure. We broke up because of one huge argument
sooshi Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 On the surface, it might appear as if the relationship ended because of an argument. But it goes deeper than that. It ended because you were both fundamentally incompatible. Be single for a while and work on becoming more secure within yourself. Also, work on dealing with anger. Take care. 1
DarrenB Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 I just want closure. We broke up because of one huge argument It's just simply not worth investing the time, effort and hurt to come to some agreement or understand as to why. It's been done, it is now a thing of the past
Author gracey123 Posted September 14, 2016 Author Posted September 14, 2016 On the surface, it might appear as if the relationship ended because of an argument. But it goes deeper than that. It ended because you were both fundamentally incompatible. Be single for a while and work on becoming more secure within yourself. Also, work on dealing with anger. Take care. The last text I sent him said this Hello hope you are okay, I was wondering if we could have a little talk about whether it's worth trying to be friends or rebuilding anything or whether we should just go our separate ways properly. I know I sound soppy but I do still have feelings for you. Don't feel pressured and don't feel you need to reply straight away, but do have a think please. X The door is open at my end, but there is no guarantee I will be there to let him in
Blanco Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 The door is open at my end, but there is no guarantee I will be there to let him in Really? I don't get the sense that you wouldn't try to rebuild with him if he wanted to. You really need to stop reaching out to him and accept that: - Breakups happen - Breakups suck - Breakups make things suck for a while - You must deal with this fallout now or risk carrying this on for far longer than you need to AND possibly carrying the baggage into future relationships. 1
Author gracey123 Posted September 14, 2016 Author Posted September 14, 2016 Really? I don't get the sense that you wouldn't try to rebuild with him if he wanted to. You really need to stop reaching out to him and accept that: - Breakups happen - Breakups suck - Breakups make things suck for a while - You must deal with this fallout now or risk carrying this on for far longer than you need to AND possibly carrying the baggage into future relationships. I would at this moment love to be reconciled, but that can change. I'm worth far more than waiting around. I'd rather just rip the plaster off tbh
stillafool Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 The last text I sent him said this Hello hope you are okay, I was wondering if we could have a little talk about whether it's worth trying to be friends or rebuilding anything or whether we should just go our separate ways properly. I know I sound soppy but I do still have feelings for you. Don't feel pressured and don't feel you need to reply straight away, but do have a think please. X The door is open at my end, but there is no guarantee I will be there to let him in When did you send this text? Was it before you went NC?
Author gracey123 Posted September 15, 2016 Author Posted September 15, 2016 When did you send this text? Was it before you went NC? I sent it Monday. Then I went NC heard nothing anyway sigh
Recommended Posts