the wife Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 Moderator's Note: This post and the next several that follow were part of a much older, long-quiet thread, and were split off because they address a different situation than what was being discussed in the original thread I really dont understand why women have to have an affair and then have a baby with a married man, my situation, my husband ended up at a party with a girl he knew from work got drunk then slept with her, I was in a high risk pregnacy my self so he could not tell me in fear that I would loose our baby, so he kept quite, she basically told him she was allergic to latex, she could not get pregnant and had proof of this from a doctor, he feared that she would tell me she was sleeping with him, she knew right from the beginning he was married. she did not care she told him she had big plans for them, he did not go out with her he just slept with her to keep her mouth shut, then when she was around 4 mo pregnant she calls my husband to tell him she is pregnant he ended the affair and by this time I had my child and he told me of the affair, my baby was 10 days old when she told my husban he needed to take care of his. he said he is, he also told her that once this child was born if the DNA test proved it was his he would pay her child support and finacally take care of this kid, but her family made threats to kill my kids so I dont want that child or women around my babies, can't trust that, my husband took his DNA test and this women has not taken her baby yet, this is a messed up situation my husband never lied to her about being married. and tried to end things, I think she set out to get pregnant to trap him to be with her, the reality is that we are catholic and have been togeath for 5 years not only is he my husband, he's my best freind so divorce is not an option for me, or to put my children through a divorce is not an option. I feel this girl should raise her child on her own and to be honest I think since she set out to get pregnant she should not come to my husband for money she thinks we are made out of money and that is not the case, I really think women should think twice about sleeping with married men, in our case if I left my husband tomorrow he would not be with her he loves me and begged me to give him another chance he proves where is is 100 percent of the time and when her ass calls him. he picks up the phone and calles me to let me know, her family thinks he needs to leave his family to be with her, she lied to them and told them that i was his girl friend, and then that did not fly then she told them that we were seperated well that was a lie to she knew we were togeath the whole time, she spread this crap at his job and has be totally out of control. ;if she wanted a man to be a father full time then she should have not been with a married man, all she is out to do is get money, she acts like she is the victium, she has to take carae of this child 24- 7 well she was the one who chose a married man, then trapped him by saying she was allergic to latex, she could not get pregnant, and he said he even pulled out the last thing he wanted was another child, he mentioned abortion she did not belive in that but she belived in sleeping with a married man, he mentioned adoption we she did want to do that either, this baby could have had a better live, with two parents who could love it as their own but NO this girl is only thinking over her self and about a man she cant have who is not aval and did not want a child with her and told her fromt he jump when there was time to do something. now she wants him to pay. while she sits on lher butt not fair, this not only affect her child but it affects my whole family. I feel she has issues. and she does not want me to be around that child, but expects my husband to help. not going to happen.
whichwayisup Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 There's SO much blame towards the OW, but what about your husband? HE was a willing partner in this situation with the OW. HE CHEATED. I understand your anger, rightfully so..But where is the anger towards him? Takes two to tango. Why didn't he use a condom? How come he trusted her to be on BC? He betrayed you, not the OW. Yes, she could have walked away from him or him from her - But that didn't happen did it. Sadly now an innocent child has been brought into this world under awful circumstances. That to me, is what breaks my heart most of all reading this post. I DO feel for your pain, and what the family has gone through... But this poor baby now is going to be in the middle of this rollercoaster. It's too bad that things happened this way. Did you and your H go to marriage councilling? If so, are you both still seeing the counciller?
newbby Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 i'm so sorry for you, but really, he SLEPT with her to keep her quiet??? that is the lamest excuse i have ever heard. and if she was allergic to latex AND she had a big mouth, he should have stuck it somewhere else to keep her quiet. i am truly sorry you have gone through all of this, and i'm sorry to say this but i think your husband is full of s***.
newbby Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 andotherwomen i'm sorry to you too that you had such a bad year.
The wife Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 I am still really angry with my husband and he knows that, trust me I blame him also. but talking with this girl she told me everything he did and that she did not care, she thought he would leave me but he never told her that, he told her it was never to happen and tried to get out of the situation he finally ended it then she came up pregnant, now she cant or wont take a DNA to prove that it is or is not my husband's I guess the reason I am so pissed with her is her family has threatened my children because she lied to them and then on top of it she feels like my husband should be there for your child, well that is not going to happen because now he has to work more hours to give her broke ass child support and my kids see him even less time then before, then she harrasse's him at work, she is a young 20 year old that just wants to sit home and not work, she says she has everything figured out. she had choice's and to me she made the wrong choice's she decided to bring this child in to the world knowing she was sleeping with a man that was not aval. now she want him to be aval and feels that her child should come before the children that were already here. is this fair, I think not, and sorry to you women who just want to not be tied down but I think for what ever reason you think its funny to sleep with a married man its not, my husband is by far not getting off lightly, trust me, he has to live with the guilt everyday when I am having a hard time trying to get over this and trust him, when he looks in my boy's face and think I may not be able to afford to send you to the private school that you were going to go to. or when my 3 year old says dad I want to go to chucky cheese and now we cant go because we have to put money aside for a child he has no connection or feelings for, he told this girl he did not want this baby, and to get an abortion or to please give it up for adoption to two people who can love it and care for it. she chose to keep her child. why do the women sleep with a man they cant have.
newbby Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 i'm sorry for your pain, i really am. i am also sorry for this (you said it yourself) young girl, who is now a single parent, and i hardly think lazy, bringing up a child on her own. but I think for what ever reason you think its funny to sleep with a married man its not, who's laughing??
the wife Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 she chose to have the child so being that she has to raise it by her self or what ever is on her. If she wanted a father in her baby's life she should have gotten a man that was not married. I feel that she really should not get any help she chose to sleep with a married man she should take full resposablity of the child she could have given it up or had an abortion, she had choice's my husband told her as soon as he found out he did not want that child and he would never be connected to it and he would not hurt his family any more by having something to do with it. now she wants to complain that she is the only one there for that child she should ahve thougth ot that in the beginning when he said he would be there, she totally trapped him she waited till he was drunk so her ugly ass could have sex with him then she told him she would tell me he stopped he tried to use a condom she said she was allergic to them and latex then she told him a doctor told her she could never have children what a lier so my husband said he was pulling out he did not want to take the chance that she would get pregnant to begin with. girl has her babh does not give it father last name or hers. she says baby is due in the begiining of a month and does not have it till the end of that month and then said she had diabetes so the did C section most of those babies are early and are big this baby was late and little do I belive this women, no I dont I have to belive my husband he atleast had the balls to come to me knowing it could destroye what we had but he was honest. now all she will ever get is child support. nothing else the threats, we have to protect our own children who were made from purel love and we are committed to them god for give me but I hope one day this girl finds the lover of her life and he cheats on her and has some one else;s baby. maybe then she will know what I fee MY advise to anyone thinking of sleeping with a married man or women . DONT it only hurts people and breaks up homes. for those who are not strong enough to see things through. its not fair to bring a child in to the world with some one you are not committed to by marriage those children only get hurt. and once you take vowels you should never break them.
newbby Posted June 27, 2005 Posted June 27, 2005 normally i wouldnt say this and i know that you are hurting but i really feel for this girl and her baby, some babys are just meant to be, you think her baby is less important than yours because it was not made from "pure love"? i'm sure your husband made a mistake and is very sorry, he clearly is terrrified of what you think about it all. he obviously does not want to lose you. he obviously made a big mistake when he decided to have sex with this girl. but you are describing this as though this young woman took complete advantage of your husband. thats quite an accusation. are you sure about it?
lynnered Posted June 28, 2005 Posted June 28, 2005 Originally posted by the wife she chose to have the child so being that she has to raise it by her self or what ever is on her. If she wanted a father in her baby's life she should have gotten a man that was not married. I feel that she really should not get any help she chose to sleep with a married man she should take full resposablity of the child she could have given it up or had an abortion, she had choice's my husband told her as soon as he found out he did not want that child and he would never be connected to it and he would not hurt his family any more by having something to do with it. now she wants to complain that she is the only one there for that child she should ahve thougth ot that in the beginning when he said he would be there, she totally trapped him she waited till he was drunk so her ugly ass could have sex with him then she told him she would tell me he stopped he tried to use a condom she said she was allergic to them and latex then she told him a doctor told her she could never have children what a lier so my husband said he was pulling out he did not want to take the chance that she would get pregnant to begin with. girl has her babh does not give it father last name or hers. she says baby is due in the begiining of a month and does not have it till the end of that month and then said she had diabetes so the did C section most of those babies are early and are big this baby was late and little do I belive this women, no I dont I have to belive my husband he atleast had the balls to come to me knowing it could destroye what we had but he was honest. now all she will ever get is child support. nothing else the threats, we have to protect our own children who were made from purel love and we are committed to them god for give me but I hope one day this girl finds the lover of her life and he cheats on her and has some one else;s baby. maybe then she will know what I fee MY advise to anyone thinking of sleeping with a married man or women . DONT it only hurts people and breaks up homes. for those who are not strong enough to see things through. its not fair to bring a child in to the world with some one you are not committed to by marriage those children only get hurt. and once you take vowels you should never break them. if your husband hadnt slept with her or at least used protection NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAID DID HE CARE ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF BRINGING HOME A DISEASE 2 U?, OBV HE HAD SOME TYPE OF TRUST FOR HER IN THESE DAYS OF AIDS&EVERYTHING ELSE , U would not be in this situation , he broke vowels not her , something obv wasnt right at home for him to go out looking or something wrong with him , and how do u know that child wasnt made "out of pure love" if it was do u think he would tell u ? he probly has a mortage with u ? its cheaper 2 keep her ? UR HUSBAND BROKE UP UR HOME AND 4 U TO WISH HER ALL THIS ILL WILL IS JUST EVIL , AND U CHOOSING TO STAY WITH HIM IS UR CHOICE GET OVER IT OR MOVE ON
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