Jump to content

Is she into it or am I getting friend zoned??

robbysurfs

By robbysurfs
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

robbysurfs Established Member

robbysurfs

Posted
Posted

Met a girl months ago she worked at a store my friend works at. We were friendly and one day I asked her out and she kind of blew me off a bit. One day out of the blue she asked me to hang out and we did. The following day she asked me to meet her at a bbq were she was with friends, I said okay. We hung out it was late we kissed and it seemed like she was into it. A day or two later we met and she met up with another friend and we all had some drinks and food. I took her home we made out and said goodnight. Few days later we talked and I asked her out to eat we made out after and then there was some distance. I text her she responded a day later and I asked her out. She said she was under the weather that weekend but did ask me to meet her at a photo show with her friend. Now moving forward all the while every time I feel or get a gut feeling she is not into it. I just back off a bit and she texts me asking how i am doing. So the other day she comments on my instagram photo and sends me a message then texts me. It ends with her inviting me to a daytime art show with her and her two friends. A part of me feels like I should cancel and a part of me feels like I should go to to show her I am a cool guy. I can help but shake this gut feeling she is asking me to join to put me in this group friend zone. I know when a girl likes you she makes it clear and she will make a effort to chill with you. I dont feel that or get that with this girl she seems a bit wishy washy. Any advice would be appreciated.

  • Like 1
smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted

Well maybe she is playing it safe (for whatever reason) so she can take her time to get to know you better, see how you are around her friends, etc. She's just not sure if what she is feeling is just emotional attachment or it's real attraction. I say have a go at it, and see where it takes you. give it a few weeks.....if it's still the old wishy washy vibe you are getting from her then just bail out.

Buddhist Established Member

Buddhist

Posted
Posted

If she's only asking you out to be with a group of friends then it's not dating. It's friends. Why would you care whether or not she thinks you're a cool guy? If you want to date her then I don't think she's offering that, you're best to move on.

  • Like 1
smudge21 Established Member

smudge21

Posted
Posted

You need to push things in the way you want them to go - ask her out and make it clear it's just the two or you and it is a date. She could be playing things safe and slow, or she could be friend zoning you (although you do make out). Either way, it will end up being friends unless one of you takes the lead and makes it clear you want a lover, not another friend. Don't just ignore or walk away, invite her back to yours for a meal, and for the night.

morrowrd Established Member

morrowrd

Posted
Posted

You aren't necessarily friendzoned "yet" - you've hung out, now work on not being so worried or clingy. Do something else instead of staring at your phone waiting for a text or an invite to hang out. Give her some breathing room in other words.....

 

Then wait and see, go with the flow, and repeat the above until (or not) things progress.

  • Author
robbysurfs Established Member

robbysurfs

Posted
  • Author
Posted

thanks for advice smakie the rest of you havent a clue...

Mystique01 Established Member

Mystique01

Posted
Posted
Met a girl months ago she worked at a store my friend works at. We were friendly and one day I asked her out and she kind of blew me off a bit. One day out of the blue she asked me to hang out and we did. The following day she asked me to meet her at a bbq were she was with friends, I said okay. We hung out it was late we kissed and it seemed like she was into it. A day or two later we met and she met up with another friend and we all had some drinks and food. I took her home we made out and said goodnight. Few days later we talked and I asked her out to eat we made out after and then there was some distance. I text her she responded a day later and I asked her out. She said she was under the weather that weekend but did ask me to meet her at a photo show with her friend. Now moving forward all the while every time I feel or get a gut feeling she is not into it. I just back off a bit and she texts me asking how i am doing. So the other day she comments on my instagram photo and sends me a message then texts me. It ends with her inviting me to a daytime art show with her and her two friends. A part of me feels like I should cancel and a part of me feels like I should go to to show her I am a cool guy. I can help but shake this gut feeling she is asking me to join to put me in this group friend zone. I know when a girl likes you she makes it clear and she will make a effort to chill with you. I dont feel that or get that with this girl she seems a bit wishy washy. Any advice would be appreciated.

 

Wowww...this girl is confusing even to me, and I'm a girl!!! No wonder you're confused.

 

 

She's confusing to me because I know for me personally, I won't even dream of kissing a guy (let alone ACTUALLY kiss a guy) if I just view him as a "friend". If he's been "Friend-zoned", the thought of even kissing him is kind of repulsive to me. Otherwise, he'd be in my "Potential" Zone, and not my "Friend" zone.

 

So, her kissing you back on multiple occasions would signify to me that she's at least attracted to you on some level.

 

But then the fact that she never seems to want to be with you alone and always only invites you around when she's with her "friend" or other "Friends" tells me that she is in a way keeping her distance. I know sometimes I might do that if I sense that the guy is interested in me, but I'm not as interested in him back. In other words, I haven't really "friend zoned" the guy, but maybe I'm not all that into the guy for whatever reason. Because if I WERE into the guy, I would want him all to myself. I would want to get to know him better without the distraction of my friends.

 

On the other hand, she could like you but as others have mentioned, maybe she's just playing it safe until she is sure about you?

 

Honestly? I would play it cool with her for a little bit if she keeps brushing you off.

  • Like 1
  • Author
robbysurfs Established Member

robbysurfs

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Wowww...this girl is confusing even to me, and I'm a girl!!! No wonder you're confused.

 

 

She's confusing to me because I know for me personally, I won't even dream of kissing a guy (let alone ACTUALLY kiss a guy) if I just view him as a "friend". If he's been "Friend-zoned", the thought of even kissing him is kind of repulsive to me. Otherwise, he'd be in my "Potential" Zone, and not my "Friend" zone.

 

So, her kissing you back on multiple occasions would signify to me that she's at least attracted to you on some level.

 

But then the fact that she never seems to want to be with you alone and always only invites you around when she's with her "friend" or other "Friends" tells me that she is in a way keeping her distance. I know sometimes I might do that if I sense that the guy is interested in me, but I'm not as interested in him back. In other words, I haven't really "friend zoned" the guy, but maybe I'm not all that into the guy for whatever reason. Because if I WERE into the guy, I would want him all to myself. I would want to get to know him better without the distraction of my friends.

 

On the other hand, she could like you but as others have mentioned, maybe she's just playing it safe until she is sure about you?

 

Honestly? I would play it cool with her for a little bit if she keeps brushing you off.

 

Great advice thanks sounds right to me. Honestly I dont hit her up a lot and most of the time she contacts me. Regarding this weekend do I go or not? My plan was to meet her there meaning go on my own and if its clicking cool if not I can always leave and wonder off there is a lot of cool **** at this art fair.

Mystique01 Established Member

Mystique01

Posted
Posted
Great advice thanks sounds right to me. Honestly I dont hit her up a lot and most of the time she contacts me. Regarding this weekend do I go or not? My plan was to meet her there meaning go on my own and if its clicking cool if not I can always leave and wonder off there is a lot of cool **** at this art fair.

 

I say you should just go!

 

You may have fun getting to know her a little bit better. Plus, if you don't go, you might be wondering "what if".

 

I say go and try to just have fun. ;) You might be able to gauge her interest a little bit more.

 

But if you find that she's pretty much ignoring you and basically only paying attention to her friends the whole time, then yeah....I would either dip early, or just stay and enjoy the day with her, but would NOT keep her on my "reserve" list.

 

Who knows, maybe this weekend (if you're getting GOOD signals from her) you can work up the courage to kind of let her know how you feel??

leogirl876 Established Member

leogirl876

Posted
Posted

I don't think you're being friendzoned yet, I do think you need to make more "moves" on her instead of just making out. You need to be trying to get to 3rd base and beyond. And if she's inviting you out, she's still interested, but if you cancel on her, that'll make her think you don't like her.

preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted

To me, it just sounds like she is active socially and is including you some. You're not friendzoned since you made out and she's still wanting you to do things. Stop having doubts. I mean, yes, she could move on, but I don't think she has yet. You're not one of these guys who can't be with a girl in a group of her friends are you and you have to have her alone all to yourself to be comfortable? If so, she's more social than you, so....

  • Author
robbysurfs Established Member

robbysurfs

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

For the record I am very social I have a ton of friends and I know a lot of people.Hanging with groups or her friends I am comfortable with, but In the beginning I want to distinguish myself as a guy who likes her not a groupie or male girlfriend :)..

 

SOOOOO, yes I went and it turned out her friends didnt go it was just us. It was cool we hung out had some laughs. towards the end of the date it got touchy feely again and a little kissing and long hugs. I did decide to part ways only because she did have plans with another friend later in the evening and she did include me but she had to walk her dog and I needed to eat man. I was spent with all the walking around the fair plus I needed alone time. Later that night she text me and said im gonna just chill at home. I didnt respond because I honestly think if she was truly interested she would say "but maybe this day we can hang or come over or ect ect.." Didnt get anything from her. She liked a few of my photos in a row on instagram. If she does text me again I will be upfront and lay it out on the terms of "lets go on a date" "I like you but I am not gonna looking for more friends or to be back up plan second best" Maybe not in such words but along the lines of this type of thing and make my intentions very clear... If that goes sour I can move on. Besides I went on another dat with another prospective young lady the night before.

Edited by robbysurfs
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...