NewfieEd Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 I have been having numerous conversations with a girl I recently met through a friend. We seem to have great chemistry and she's very attractive. Saturday night me, her and her friend went out and we danced the night away. We talked lots again yesterday. The problem comes in now, I'm great at making a first impression on people my problem is from there on in. I am usually too aggressive in my approach or not aggressive enough depending on the situation. I've made the mistake of telling girls I think the world of them the second time I met them and how beautiful they are etc. And it never seems to work. Or I'll sit back and wait too long to say anything and let the attraction die off. This girl is quite a find so I want some tips on building attraction with her. She's only recently out of a 5 year relationship and says she isn't really looking for anything along those lines right now. So is it even worth my time? When I flirt with her she always flirts back and plays along so she seems attracted to me I just got to figure out how to keep it going. I work away from home for 2 weeks at a time and I am going again in 3 days. She works all day long, should I try to get her out for supper or a coffee before I go? 1
Sunnymae Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 I would say move slowly, not too much texting. Ask her what her weekend plans are, and if she'd like to go out. Since she recently broke up from a 5 year relationship, she may or may not be ready to dive into any LTR, let her get use to you. Give her attention, but don't be too sexually aggressive, unless both of you are feeling it. Just take it easy. Take your cues from her action/ body language, or how she responds to you. Be careful with mixed signals. She, herself may be confused about how she feels. 1
Satu Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 snip She's only recently out of a 5 year relationship and *says she isn't really looking for anything along those lines right now. So is it even worth my time? When I flirt with her she always flirts back and plays along so she seems attracted to me I just got to figure out how to keep it going. *All you need to do is understand what she meant by this, and why she said it to you. You could try storming the castle keep, but that wouldn't be very respectful. Take care. 1
JewelD Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 snip *All you need to do is understand what she meant by this, and why she said it to you. You could try storming the castle keep, but that wouldn't be very respectful. Take care. Agreed. if you heard this from someone else, okay, but if she said it to you, that means she's probably not interested. If I had any interest in a guy, I wouldn't tell him I wasn't looking for anything. You might wanna leave her alone. 1
Author NewfieEd Posted September 13, 2016 Author Posted September 13, 2016 Haha you guys were right. I asked her for her number because our communications were through Messenger or Snapchat and she said her phone died when I snap chatted my number. Then she said send it again, I sent it and she said "I guess you're going to have to get my number elsewhere" me and her play around a lot but this seemed like an ignorant snub so I didn't write back, neither did she. No point writing her I guess haha.
Author NewfieEd Posted September 13, 2016 Author Posted September 13, 2016 I left out a part of this. Possibly a pretty big part, my friend also met this girl. He is also very attracted to her. I found out he cut me down to her, told her I'm just a player and want to have sex with her and she would probably never hear from me again. I did not say none of this, he said it for personal gain over me, hoping to cut me down and get her attention. I'm not going to do the same, but this probably definitely hurt my chances. Any way to go from here or just leave it?
angel.eyes Posted September 13, 2016 Posted September 13, 2016 First, get new friends! As for her, she told you directly and via her actions (snubs such as you'll have to get my number from someone else when you asked her for her phone number) that she's not interested in you. Believe her when she says she isn't looking for anything along those lines (with you). She's been crystal clear about where you stand with her. Let it go. 1
VeveCakes Posted September 13, 2016 Posted September 13, 2016 I left out a part of this. Possibly a pretty big part, my friend also met this girl. He is also very attracted to her. I found out he cut me down to her, told her I'm just a player and want to have sex with her and she would probably never hear from me again. I did not say none of this, he said it for personal gain over me, hoping to cut me down and get her attention. I'm not going to do the same, but this probably definitely hurt my chances. Any way to go from here or just leave it? girls arent dumb...she will know what he was doing.
Larryville Posted September 13, 2016 Posted September 13, 2016 If I had any interest in a guy, I wouldn't tell him I wasn't looking for anything. Exactly And I agree with Sunny too: let her get use to you. Give her attention, but don't be too sexually aggressive, Have a backup plan, don’t put all of your attention on her until she is ready.
Author NewfieEd Posted October 4, 2016 Author Posted October 4, 2016 I work a job 14 days away from home then spend 7 days at home. The last time I was home I met a beautiful girl who caught my attention. I met her through a friend, we all went to the club that night. While I was away at work we got talking lots and got to know each other a little, keeping it really flirty. I got home Friday and met up with her and some of her friends at the club. At the end of the night me and her went home. Again Saturday she went out but I stayed home and she called me to pick her up when the club closed, she stayed at my house until 4pm Sunday. She knows I have a past reputation of having lots of sexual relations with other girls, she has called me a player but I just play and flirt with her then. She would not have sex with me because she said she knew it was "my game" to take girls home then never talk to them again. We had really playful conversations again today (Monday). So now I go back to work Thursday and am wondering what should my next move be. Should I ask her to go for dinner this week? Should I make her wait until I come back to hang out? She is recently out of a long term relationship and keeps saying she's a good girl and she is living with her parents and keeps saying "they don't want to see her hurt". The three things that make me question it are: she pulled away a few times when I went to kiss her when she slept over, maybe that was just trying to make me work for it because over time I got the kisses on the lips. She also doesn't start many conversations I usually start them but she will always carry on the conversations. She also texts until late but only sometimes says good night, maybe she falls asleep or maybe she just doesn't care I don't know. Your thought on all this? 1
Midnight_Madness Posted October 4, 2016 Posted October 4, 2016 Hi, If I were you I'd certainly try and arrange to meet with her again before you go away to work. Even if the arranged time to meet is after you return from work as it conveys you are genuinely interested in seeing her again. A lot of people would rather fall asleep talking to someone as opposed to saying goodnight. I personally don't get it as it is inconvenient to the respondent whom often waits up for a reply that often doesn't come until the next day. Best of luck in your future .
Author NewfieEd Posted October 4, 2016 Author Posted October 4, 2016 Thanks for the input. She wrote me this morning, I wrote her, then she sent a message that couldn't really be responded to. So I haven't wrote back. Waiting to see will she initiate conversation when she gets off work. Should I do this? Or just write her.
smackie9 Posted October 4, 2016 Posted October 4, 2016 Be very careful not to be her cuddle b^&*%. The Ladder Theory She is putting the brakes on because she is saying NO, and not playing hard to get. Stop letting her sleep over unless there is sex on the table. Sexless sleep overs are for kids, not adults. You want to get anywhere with her, take her out on dates, and treat her like a lady respectfully. She isn't going to be rushing into anything so be patient. 1
VeveCakes Posted October 4, 2016 Posted October 4, 2016 What are your intentions first of all? She doesn't want to give it all away because she thinks you are going to pump and dump. If that is your plan, leave her be. She texted you last, you should be the one to text next. Do you work out West? I would make sure she is up for the type of relationship you offer, not all women can do the 2 away and 1 off. 1
spiderowl Posted October 4, 2016 Posted October 4, 2016 I work a job 14 days away from home then spend 7 days at home. The last time I was home I met a beautiful girl who caught my attention. I met her through a friend, we all went to the club that night. While I was away at work we got talking lots and got to know each other a little, keeping it really flirty. I got home Friday and met up with her and some of her friends at the club. At the end of the night me and her went home. Again Saturday she went out but I stayed home and she called me to pick her up when the club closed, she stayed at my house until 4pm Sunday. She knows I have a past reputation of having lots of sexual relations with other girls, she has called me a player but I just play and flirt with her then. She would not have sex with me because she said she knew it was "my game" to take girls home then never talk to them again. We had really playful conversations again today (Monday). So now I go back to work Thursday and am wondering what should my next move be. Should I ask her to go for dinner this week? Should I make her wait until I come back to hang out? She is recently out of a long term relationship and keeps saying she's a good girl and she is living with her parents and keeps saying "they don't want to see her hurt". The three things that make me question it are: she pulled away a few times when I went to kiss her when she slept over, maybe that was just trying to make me work for it because over time I got the kisses on the lips. She also doesn't start many conversations I usually start them but she will always carry on the conversations. She also texts until late but only sometimes says good night, maybe she falls asleep or maybe she just doesn't care I don't know. Your thought on all this? She knows you have a reputation - and how did you gain that reputation? You obviously like the women and she is another challenge for you. She's pretty much told you she knows you have a reputation for shallow relationships and why would she want that? She's a nice girl from a nice family. Is she just another challenge to you, a notch on the bedpost? Maybe she's wise to be cautious.
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