AmyHershaw Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 I know at seventeen years of age, I am young and am still learning about relationships, but I can't help but notice that every guy who has shown an interest in dating me is one of those guys who dates girls, consummates their relationship with them quickly after them getting together, leaves them shortly afterwards and is then seen kissing or dating someone else a couple of months or even weeks later. My ex-boyfriend cheated on me with one of my best friends from school and got engaged to another good friend of mine three months after he left me (as I stated on a previous thread), a young man who was the same age as me was going to ask me out, but my ex's friends told him to leave me alone as he does what I stated above. I dated a guy who was also my age (it wasn't a serious relationship); he suddenly stopped talking to me because of problems he was having with his family members and friends (he didn't want me to get involved in any of it), so I thanked him for being honest with me and I said it would be better if we were just friends and I told him he could speak to me anytime. However (like my ex-boyfriend) I never heard from him again after the break-up and my best friend from college has recently told me she saw him spending the entire night at a gathering she, some of her friends and their friends have monthly kissing my best friend (she was my best friend at the time). I can't help but wonder is there something I'm doing wrong that's caused the people I have dated to move on so quickly and flirt/kiss/sleep with my friends? Also, I don't understand why I seem to be attracting those who are unfaithful in relationships?
Cloudcuckoo Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 I know at seventeen years of age, I am young and am still learning about relationships, but I can't help but notice that every guy who has shown an interest in dating me is one of those guys who dates girls, consummates their relationship with them quickly after them getting together, leaves them shortly afterwards and is then seen kissing or dating someone else a couple of months or even weeks later. My ex-boyfriend cheated on me with one of my best friends from school and got engaged to another good friend of mine three months after he left me (as I stated on a previous thread), a young man who was the same age as me was going to ask me out, but my ex's friends told him to leave me alone as he does what I stated above. I dated a guy who was also my age (it wasn't a serious relationship); he suddenly stopped talking to me because of problems he was having with his family members and friends (he didn't want me to get involved in any of it), so I thanked him for being honest with me and I said it would be better if we were just friends and I told him he could speak to me anytime. However (like my ex-boyfriend) I never heard from him again after the break-up and my best friend from college has recently told me she saw him spending the entire night at a gathering she, some of her friends and their friends have monthly kissing my best friend (she was my best friend at the time). I can't help but wonder is there something I'm doing wrong that's caused the people I have dated to move on so quickly and flirt/kiss/sleep with my friends? Also, I don't understand why I seem to be attracting those who are unfaithful in relationships? Amy, if I could go back to my 17 year old self, I would say to her, start shaping your life around YOU and what you think you'd like to do/be/go to next. If a boy comes along and wants to join you on your journey and you like him, then let him. You can always left him off the train if you want to! You're doing nothing wrong at all, and I believe you might be trying a little too hard perhaps.dont be too keen to let boys know you're interested, let them work a little toward the pleasure of your company, it's a gift, not a given. Just remember the most important person in your life is you. Respect yourself, appreciate the person you are, your dreams, goals and achievements, and others will too. Boys especially, and don't take them too seriously darling, they don't mature in the same way that girls do. I used to tell my girls, 'You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a Prince'! Now go out and have the fun you're supposed to without worrying too much about them! Lots of luck! Cuckoo 3
Mr. Lucky Posted September 13, 2016 Posted September 13, 2016 I can't help but wonder is there something I'm doing wrong that's caused the people I have dated to move on so quickly and flirt/kiss/sleep with my friends? Also, I don't understand why I seem to be attracting those who are unfaithful in relationships? I'd guess the main problem is that you're (appropriately) dating 17-yr olds, a notoriously tough crowd. Much of the character and maturity needed to endure in a relationship has yet to be formed, leaving the boys you're with prone to be distracted by the first passing pretty face they see. Just like a half-cooked souflee, the potential is there but it simply needs more time to develop. Work on yourself instead. Study, read, travel and have fun. Plenty of time to get serious about relationships in the years to come... Mr. Lucky 2
NTV Posted September 13, 2016 Posted September 13, 2016 When I bought a new red car, I started seeing red cars everywhere. It's just kinda a thing. Your ex cheated and was looking for physical intimacy, and you unconsciously correlate the two now. Wait until college. Everything changes there anyway. 1
Author AmyHershaw Posted September 13, 2016 Author Posted September 13, 2016 Amy, if I could go back to my 17 year old self, I would say to her, start shaping your life around YOU and what you think you'd like to do/be/go to next. If a boy comes along and wants to join you on your journey and you like him, then let him. You can always left him off the train if you want to! You're doing nothing wrong at all, and I believe you might be trying a little too hard perhaps.dont be too keen to let boys know you're interested, let them work a little toward the pleasure of your company, it's a gift, not a given. Just remember the most important person in your life is you. Respect yourself, appreciate the person you are, your dreams, goals and achievements, and others will too. Boys especially, and don't take them too seriously darling, they don't mature in the same way that girls do. I used to tell my girls, 'You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a Prince'! Now go out and have the fun you're supposed to without worrying too much about them! Lots of luck! Cuckoo Thank you so much for your reply, I greatly appreciate it! What you say is very true, I think I am being a little naive and foolish when it comes to romantic relationships. I'm still trying to find myself and love myself more after having lost it all during my first relationship, I should be concentrating on achieving those aims, but I can be so stubborn. I suppose with boys (especially at my age and under) they don't have the same views and beliefs on how a relationship should work as the majority of girls do. I'm not saying all of them get carried away with relationships and play the field, because not all of them do, but I understand that some teenage boys' hormones go crazy and cause them to do what they do. I'm sure they will grow out of it. I remember a friend of mine telling me that, you've provided your girls with some good advice and I hope they find the right guy for them soon! I will do, thank you again! 1
Author AmyHershaw Posted September 13, 2016 Author Posted September 13, 2016 When I bought a new red car, I started seeing red cars everywhere. It's just kinda a thing. Your ex cheated and was looking for physical intimacy, and you unconsciously correlate the two now. Wait until college. Everything changes there anyway. Many thanks for your reply! I suppose that's true and I'm currently in my second year at college...it's safe to say nothing has really changed ha ha, but never mind.
gracey123 Posted September 13, 2016 Posted September 13, 2016 Amy love, you're only 17! Honestly chick, just eff boys for the time being, you've got plenty time for relationships, good and bad. Focus on you! Focus on going out getting out and being daft, havin a laugh with your friends, don't waste your time on boys, because at 17 that's what you're dealing with! Relationships are hard at a young age because of hormones and the fact that the people are still finding themselves! Enjoy being 17 cos when you're 18/19 it goes downhill and you have to start payin for everything then! Ignore boys for now, they aren't worth it. Spend time on what's important, make good memories and don't let the thoughts of your teenage years be dominated by stupid boys and unhealthy relationships! Enjoy yourself girl you're only young once! X 1
Author AmyHershaw Posted September 13, 2016 Author Posted September 13, 2016 I'd guess the main problem is that you're (appropriately) dating 17-yr olds, a notoriously tough crowd. Much of the character and maturity needed to endure in a relationship has yet to be formed, leaving the boys you're with prone to be distracted by the first passing pretty face they see. Just like a half-cooked souflee, the potential is there but it simply needs more time to develop. Work on yourself instead. Study, read, travel and have fun. Plenty of time to get serious about relationships in the years to come... Mr. Lucky Thank you so much for your reply! Aye, I suppose at my age, hormones are still going crazy. I have noticed what you've pointed out and I will try my best to be more cautious in the future. 1
NTV Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 How are you in your second year of college at 17? 2
Author AmyHershaw Posted September 14, 2016 Author Posted September 14, 2016 How are you in your second year of college at 17? I turn 18 in February ha ha.
pteromom Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 I suppose with boys (especially at my age and under) they don't have the same views and beliefs on how a relationship should work as the majority of girls do. I'm not saying all of them get carried away with relationships and play the field, because not all of them do, but I understand that some teenage boys' hormones go crazy and cause them to do what they do. I'm sure they will grow out of it. They aren't CAPABLE at 17. Boys mature later than girls do. A 17 year old boy is generally more interested in learning about girls and sex than they are finding someone to be faithful to. Don't worry about a relationship right now. Just go out and have fun. Only have sex if you WANT to (not because you believe it means something.) Don't have expectations of these guys and you won't be let down by them. I agree about college being different too. You'll find guys in college who are more serious about their lives and futures. Just have fun being young! There are so many wonderful things to experience that don't require a guy. Grab some friends and have fun! 1
Author AmyHershaw Posted September 14, 2016 Author Posted September 14, 2016 Amy love, you're only 17! Honestly chick, just eff boys for the time being, you've got plenty time for relationships, good and bad. Focus on you! Focus on going out getting out and being daft, havin a laugh with your friends, don't waste your time on boys, because at 17 that's what you're dealing with! Relationships are hard at a young age because of hormones and the fact that the people are still finding themselves! Enjoy being 17 cos when you're 18/19 it goes downhill and you have to start payin for everything then! Ignore boys for now, they aren't worth it. Spend time on what's important, make good memories and don't let the thoughts of your teenage years be dominated by stupid boys and unhealthy relationships! Enjoy yourself girl you're only young once! X I know I'm young to be saying this hun and I shouldn't allow it to upset me as much as it has, it's just...I have a very low self-esteem and confidence issues, so when they provided me with the compliments they did, I did feel special and it was some of my happiest moments. To have it taken from you and for those people to disappear so quickly from your life, they might feel guilt or regret for what they did, but they didn't seem to care and it has hurt me more than I can say. I know I sound childish and I'm showing my age in this reply, but it meant an awful lot to me and I had never opened my heart out to someone like I did with them before. All I wanted was to make them happy, I didn't care about what happened to me, but I couldn't not feel upset or mention my feelings when I found out I had been cheated on. I'll try my hardest to focus on myself more, especially now that I'm in my second and final year at college. Thank you ever so much for your reply and your kind words, you're very sweet!
Author AmyHershaw Posted September 14, 2016 Author Posted September 14, 2016 They aren't CAPABLE at 17. Boys mature later than girls do. A 17 year old boy is generally more interested in learning about girls and sex than they are finding someone to be faithful to. Don't worry about a relationship right now. Just go out and have fun. Only have sex if you WANT to (not because you believe it means something.) Don't have expectations of these guys and you won't be let down by them. I agree about college being different too. You'll find guys in college who are more serious about their lives and futures. Just have fun being young! There are so many wonderful things to experience that don't require a guy. Grab some friends and have fun! Thank you very much for your reply! That's definitely true, I have noticed that's what a lot of boys from my year group at comprehensive school talk about on social media sites, namely Facebook. I will try my best and aye, I suppose that was one of the errors on my behalf, doing it because it was something he wanted instead of me feeling ready for it as well. I have learned my lesson now, though and I shan't repeat this in the future. I have noticed that, they are a lot more laidback and I will do just that, many thanks!
Recommended Posts