Quokka Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 Okay so, first of all things are going great with this girl. We have a lot of history, friends for about 3 years now. Ended up getting drunk one night and having sex and she told me how much feelings she's always had for me and I feel the same. However, she's afraid of commitment. Which is true. She's only dated one person in a serious relationship. She says she wants me to herself, last night she played a game with me on her phone that was meant for couples. She keep hinting at a future with me and relationship type stuff. I've never actually asked her to be my girlfriend because I don't want to ruin the things that are going on now. We hook up frequently, she either stays at my place or I stay at hers. We do fun things together, go out together, and at night we get super wasted. It's all good fun and I'm thoroughly enjoying it. But she's been notoriously known for just pushing me away and dissapearing and she has always came back but she gets super depressed and sleeps for a whole week and tries to push me away. I hate it but I accept it. She's told me she loves me and I love her. I guess what I'm asking is what do you guys think about all this? And what's my next move? How long can two people who love each other just continue hooking up and hanging out without being exclusive? I should also mention I am 20 and she is 22
basil67 Posted September 13, 2016 Posted September 13, 2016 Bigger question is how long can you cope with her playing you like a yoyo. You do know you're going to get hurt here, yes?
Buddhist Posted September 13, 2016 Posted September 13, 2016 I think the bigger question might be how many brain cells you'll both have left by the time you hit 30 when your past-time is getting wasted. 1
Author Quokka Posted September 13, 2016 Author Posted September 13, 2016 Well 1st thing l'll say is that u need to expect everything.... Don't get ur hopes too high but dont do the opposite either... That being said this girl l believe does indeed have comitment issues.. That explains why she keeps on snapping out from you, seeking other company maybe or just solitude... The best thing in my opinion would be for you to show her that u are there for her but that u are not pushing her (cause some people just leave when they feel pressure and u dont want that). But listen bro... No matter how intense and real ur feeling may be for this G, u need to follow some basic dating rules... U need to treat her the same way u'd treat a girl u just had 1 date with u know? Cause the same rules apply to both serious and less serious cases.. What l mean is that u need to show that u are available NOW.... Not forever.. If u become permenantly available and she cosiders u as "given", then she will soon get bored cause u are not exciting her life enough... So go out urself... Have fun with other people and girls (NO SEX) and let her see that u are an active individual and ur world does not spin around her vigina... Do this and she will feel more attracted to u... Feeling attracted is important even when u already have an established relationship with someone.... But dont be a litte bitch who waits on the phone 24/7 for her to call... l hope l'm helpfull to you Really good stuff. Very helpful so thank you for typing all of that. I agree with mostly everything you said. Just a couple questions for you regarding your post: How do I show her I'm not always going to be available as an option without coming off pushy? And the fact I work 4 days out of the week (12 hour shifts, 4 days straight) we have plenty of time apart but it leaves me with no time to do much of my own thing. I like to spend my 3 days off with her.
phineas Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 Really good stuff. Very helpful so thank you for typing all of that. I agree with mostly everything you said. Just a couple questions for you regarding your post: How do I show her I'm not always going to be available as an option without coming off pushy? And the fact I work 4 days out of the week (12 hour shifts, 4 days straight) we have plenty of time apart but it leaves me with no time to do much of my own thing. I like to spend my 3 days off with her. The smart thing to do is get rid of her because a woman like this either isn't all that into you or messed up royally in the head. But, when she disappears for 4 days, you drop off the earth for 8. Give her a taste of her own medicine. Hell, start dating another woman. If she says something, tell her "hey, i don't have a GF". Basically you let her know without saying it out loud that she has the option to make it official or GTFO. at that point all the BS stops if they are just playing games or leading you on. but, again, i'd drop her. it shouldn't be this difficult.
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