biker23 Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 (edited) Quick story. Dated a girl late last year. Definitely out kicking my coverage a bit and we really clicked. She always commented she waits for sex. For whatever reason I got friend zoned and moved on. She had found another guy. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago. She reaches out to me and I ask her to dinner to catch up. She had sent random texts to me for months but I was seeing someone else and figured she was still a friend. Now it has gotten much more intense and we have a ton in common. I find out she slept with that new boyfriend (after me) very quickly. We talked about that as it was against her character of which I knew. She said a few interesting comments of which I'm not sure if it's a line or not. She prefers to wait to confirm compatibility without sex making the picture blurry. In other words good sex will mask some incompatibilities. Ok that I can agree with. Then she said she is happy we have waited as this is the closest she has felt to a guy without sex yet. Said she seemed to know the other guy was a flash in the pan (it ended quickly and badly apparently) and I don't feel that way to her. That said she is ready now so it may not matter but interesting comments about her seriousness Thoughts on her comment about waiting when it's a guy she feels more strongly or could have a longer term future? Or is that an excuse and a line Edited September 12, 2016 by biker23 Fix
Redhead14 Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 Quick story. Dated a girl late last year. Definitely out kicking my coverage a bit and we really clicked. She always commented she waits for sex. For whatever reason I got friend zoned and moved on. She had found another guy. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago. She reaches out to me and I ask her to dinner to catch up. She had sent random texts to me for months but I was seeing someone else and figured she was still a friend. Now it has gotten much more intense and we have a ton in common. I find out she slept with that new boyfriend (after me) very quickly. We talked about that as it was against her character of which I knew. She said a few interesting comments of which I'm not sure if it's a line or not. She prefers to wait to confirm compatibility without sex making the picture blurry. In other words good sex will mask some incompatibilities. Ok that I can agree with. Then she said she is happy we have waited as this is the closest she has felt to a guy without sex yet. Said she seemed to know the other guy was a flash in the pan (it ended quickly and badly apparently) and I don't feel that way to her. That said she is ready now so it may not matter but interesting comments about her seriousness Thoughts on her comment about waiting when it's a guy she feels more strongly or could have a longer term future? Or is that an excuse and a line It's BS. Either she waits for sex or she doesn't. I can't tell you how many times we've seen on these boards -- "I slept with this guy on the first date! OMG, I never ever do that. This guy was so (whatever), blah, blah, blah. She wasn't feeling it for you. Moved on to someone else, had sex early with him, he bailed (probably a one-night stand) and now she's circling back to you AND saying she's ready for sex with you . . . How many dates did you two have? I mean, if you only dated a few times and she's one who waits for sex, she'd at least ask to start dating you again and still waiting for a bit . . . 1
jen1447 Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 Translation - she was hot for the other guy so she shagged him, she wasn't as hot for you so the 'principles' came into play instead. Now she's ditched the other guy and you're a contender for w/e reason, so the principles can go back to the back burner bc they're not needed, and she's ready to shag you too. 4
Toodaloo Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 I never wait to have sex. Instead I try to wait for the right guy to have sex with... Either way doesn't seem to work so I guess its back to the batteries... Some guys just have this thing about them. You would never normally sleep with someone that fast or even fancy them all that much, but some basic animal instinct makes you rip off their y fronts and... well you know how the rest goes. Keeping my knickers on is not something I do all that well so its probably best not to ask me. If I fancy him then its likely he will end up wearing them...
Author biker23 Posted September 12, 2016 Author Posted September 12, 2016 Ok I agree she wasn't feeling it then. I mentioned I felt I out kicked my coverage a bit so I was way to meek and less confident. 2nd time around we still have all the same in common and chemistry but I have a completely different attitude and am behaving as myself. We dated about 6 weeks before.
gorf Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 Its simple. He pressured her, or not so and she just decided on a whim she wanted sex. She wasn't used, she agreed and participated. Then it ended. You were a good option from the start, or a better option then him anyway, and she came back to you. What would concern me if I were in your shoes is the whole "better option" thing. -she was with you -wanted to wait for sex while with you -she left you -met new guy and sex very soon afterwords -now back with you Now you have to wonder if you are her ultimate choice, or an option, is that guy gone, are there others orbiting as backups? Who knows. The fact she left, had sex quickly after telling you she would wait, and then comes back to you. I see a lack of integrity here. But time will tell. I would suggest asking her what changed her mind? What was the circumstance?
katiegrl Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 Translation - she was hot for the other guy so she shagged him, she wasn't as hot for you so the 'principles' came into play instead. Now she's ditched the other guy and you're a contender for w/e reason, so the principles can go back to the back burner bc they're not needed, and she's ready to shag you too. Nailed it! 1
Dirt Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 She came back to you because you're her backup plan. Why do you want to be someone's backup plan? 2
doyathinkso Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 And she'll keep you waiting and waiting until she spots some other hot guy she feels like banging.
Author biker23 Posted September 12, 2016 Author Posted September 12, 2016 Its simple. He pressured her, or not so and she just decided on a whim she wanted sex. She wasn't used, she agreed and participated. Then it ended. You were a good option from the start, or a better option then him anyway, and she came back to you. What would concern me if I were in your shoes is the whole "better option" thing. -she was with you -wanted to wait for sex while with you -she left you -met new guy and sex very soon afterwords -now back with you Now you have to wonder if you are her ultimate choice, or an option, is that guy gone, are there others orbiting as backups? Who knows. The fact she left, had sex quickly after telling you she would wait, and then comes back to you. I see a lack of integrity here. But time will tell. I would suggest asking her what changed her mind? What was the circumstance? She said he guy was pushy yes. She's given many reasons why we are a better match long term. And reasons why she's more interested now. Words I know Btw. That was over in March. She's been contacting me ever since but I was either in a relationship or assumed she was just contacting as a friend.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 Translation - she was hot for the other guy so she shagged him, she wasn't as hot for you so the 'principles' came into play instead. Now she's ditched the other guy and you're a contender for w/e reason, so the principles can go back to the back burner bc they're not needed, and she's ready to shag you too. Lol! Absolutely right on! I've never been fed the line about waiting for sex. I suppose it's b/c the women I've dated are much more in tune with what they want and mature enough to know that the waiting thing is simply a ploy (not always, mind you).
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