Is he a player?

[millybell]

met this guy online,

 

-he's not really a big texter

-on our first date, we ended up gone to the third base. he wanted sex but I didn't want to.

-he said there many horrible stories of online dating but he thinks we are the exception.

-he asked me how i think of him

-he said it feels like he's known me for a long time he's comfortable around me.

-he's friend was calling him for dinner out and he asked me if I wanted to come.

 

-when he's dropping me off he asked me if I was mad at him(if he was being too aggressive or whatever during make out session.)

-he wanted to take a picture together

-I asked him when can I see him again, he said Sunday when he back from business trip.

-he said i should trust him and soon ill find out how good guy he is lol I don't know i feel like if he were a player he wouldn't even bother saying this.

-before say good bye I said 'so I'll see you soon?' and he responded 'if you still remember me'.

-few times he asked me if I'm out on a date(before we met), how many people I met so far, and said i would be seeing guys from my area more (he lives an hour away) it's like he was concerning how many other guys I would be seeing besides him.

-he texted me few hours later asking if I got home safe.

-I replied to him yes and he replied back but we didn't text each other afterwards.

-then the same night he randomly texted good night out of nowhere.

 

I'm just confused now.

What do you guys think?

[CarrieT]

Yes, he is definitely a player.

 

The whole business of feeling like you two have known each other a long time is B.S. and intended to make you comfortable towards having sex. And he is trying to push an agenda of immediate emotional intimacy where there isn't a groundwork for such a situation.

 

You admit you probably went too far and if you *had* done the deed, I seriously doubt you would have heard from him again.

 

Dial it back and get to know him more before moving forward.

[Redhead14]

met this guy online,

 

-he's not really a big texter

-on our first date, we ended up gone to the third base. he wanted sex but I didn't want to.

-he said there many horrible stories of online dating but he thinks we are the exception.

-he asked me how i think of him

-he said it feels like he's known me for a long time he's comfortable around me.

-he's friend was calling him for dinner out and he asked me if I wanted to come.

 

-when he's dropping me off he asked me if I was mad at him(if he was being too aggressive or whatever during make out session.)

-he wanted to take a picture together

-I asked him when can I see him again, he said Sunday when he back from business trip.

-he said i should trust him and soon ill find out how good guy he is lol I don't know i feel like if he were a player he wouldn't even bother saying this.

-before say good bye I said 'so I'll see you soon?' and he responded 'if you still remember me'.

-few times he asked me if I'm out on a date(before we met), how many people I met so far, and said i would be seeing guys from my area more (he lives an hour away) it's like he was concerning how many other guys I would be seeing besides him.

-he texted me few hours later asking if I got home safe.

-I replied to him yes and he replied back but we didn't text each other afterwards.

-then the same night he randomly texted good night out of nowhere.

 

I'm just confused now.

What do you guys think?

 

he said i should trust him and soon ill find out how good guy he is lol I don't know i feel like if he were a player he wouldn't even bother saying this. -- Sweetie, this is exactly what a guy would do/say on a first date if he is a player. A guy who is serious about dating and looking for a relationship isn't going to say things like this especially on a first date.

 

I said 'so I'll see you soon?' and he responded 'if you still remember me'. -- That's not a very concrete response . . . it's kinda open-ended.

 

I find it odd that you asked this question after he told you he'd see you on Sunday after his trip and instead of him saying, yes, Sunday night for dinner at Xplace. I.E. remind you that he said he'd be back from his business trip and seeing you on Sunday. He already forgot what he told you apparently . . . or maybe you forgot too? I think I would have said, "Ok, Sunday it is, what time and where?" Pin him down right then and there. If he was sketchy about it, you'd have a better clue already.

[smackie9]

you really need to ask? he's a player.

[mortensorchid]

Sounds like one.

[Mr. Karma]

Yep. He's player. Your list is full of mind games and players love mind games in order to make you confused. They like to be in control.

 

Take control and firmly stand for what you believe in when it comes to a relationship. But based on the info you gave so far. Dump him

[joseb]

-he said i should trust him and soon ill find out how good guy he is lol I don't know i feel like if he were a player he wouldn't even bother saying this.

 

Actually this more than any of the others make it sound like he is.

But several of the others do too.

 

Are you looking for fun, or a serious relationship?

[Zahara]

-he said i should trust him and soon ill find out how good guy he is lol I don't know i feel like if he were a player he wouldn't even bother saying this.

 

Along with a few other red flags, yes, this one is someone you should stay away from.

[gorf]

Look, just ask your self, what is a player? What things make up a player? And then on your own without outside influence, ask yourself if he is a player. I think you will know the answer

[Satu]

He sounds like a 'pick up artist.'

 

Block him.

[kendahke]

met this guy online,

 

-he's not really a big texter

-on our first date,

-we ended up gone to the third base. he wanted sex but I didn't want to.

-he said there many horrible stories of online dating but he thinks we are the exception.

-he asked me how i think of him

-he said it feels like he's known me for a long time he's comfortable around me.

-he's friend was calling him for dinner out and he asked me if I wanted to come.

 

-when he's dropping me off he asked me if I was mad at him(if he was being too aggressive or whatever during make out session.)

-he wanted to take a picture together

-I asked him when can I see him again, he said Sunday when he back from business trip.

-he said i should trust him and soon ill find out how good guy he is lol I don't know i feel like if he were a player he wouldn't even bother saying this.

-before say good bye I said 'so I'll see you soon?' and he responded 'if you still remember me'.

-few times he asked me if I'm out on a date(before we met), how many people I met so far, and said i would be seeing guys from my area more (he lives an hour away) it's like he was concerning how many other guys I would be seeing besides him.

-he texted me few hours later asking if I got home safe.

-I replied to him yes and he replied back but we didn't text each other afterwards.

-then the same night he randomly texted good night out of nowhere.

 

I'm just confused now.

What do you guys think?

 

 

 

Questions for you:

 

Have you had a first meeting before this first date or is this the very first time you've seen him?

 

How long have you been talking to him online before laying eyes on him?

 

I think it depends upon what characteristics you like in a guy. Some women wouldn't see anything wrong with this. Others would be running for the hills. What are you not comfortable with?

[leogirl876]

he said i should trust him and soon ill find out how good guy he is lol I don't know i feel like if he were a player he wouldn't even bother saying this. -- Sweetie, this is exactly what a guy would do/say on a first date if he is a player. A guy who is serious about dating and looking for a relationship isn't going to say things like this especially on a first date.

 

I said 'so I'll see you soon?' and he responded 'if you still remember me'. -- That's not a very concrete response . . . it's kinda open-ended.

 

I find it odd that you asked this question after he told you he'd see you on Sunday after his trip and instead of him saying, yes, Sunday night for dinner at Xplace. I.E. remind you that he said he'd be back from his business trip and seeing you on Sunday. He already forgot what he told you apparently . . . or maybe you forgot too? I think I would have said, "Ok, Sunday it is, what time and where?" Pin him down right then and there. If he was sketchy about it, you'd have a better clue already.

 

Um yes he's a player!!! That's what players say! A good guy doesn't have to say that because he knows it and he shows you through his actions! This guy is a player and trying to get in your pants only and he'll disappear.

 

And really, you already know he's a player, you wouldn't be asking us that stuff if you didn't already think that. Listen to your gut instinct, it's never wrong!

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

Yep. He's player. Your list is full of mind games and players love mind games to make you confused. They like to be in control.

 

Take control and firmly stand for what you believe in when it comes to a relationship. But based on the info you gave so far. Dump him

 

Yes! This right here:rolleyes:

 

Oh my goodness, he's not only a player but a controller. I bet he's picking up woman left, right and centre but a driver/cheater would have a hard time accepting you are dating others. But mind games? yes. Mind games as Mr Karma says keeps you confused, and that's why you're asking us what's going on. What does your gut say? Do you feel uncomfortable around him or when you think about him or comfortable? That's always a good indicator. Never underestimate the power of your intuition

[Leigh 87]

Definite player.

 

Have had all this crash said to me. By a player or two.

 

They like it make remarks that make themselves out to be all insecure so you will go "aww he is asking about my dates, he must be jealous".

 

They also know that giving women orgasms keeps them attached It is true. A player was once so good at getting me off that I gave him chances after he "disappeared" :rolleyes:

 

He pushed to fool around early since he knew we had great sexual chemistry and he knew I would be hooked. Then he started up with the comments such as " based on the feelings I am having this early, I think this could really be something". He went and deleted his profile after date one and asked me to do the same. Then the lovely fake " insecurities" came to head, making me think aww poor guy, he is not very confident, if only he knew how into him I was!

 

Turns out he had a child and was married.

 

Generally, the men who carry on the most about their feelings for you early on are players OR lying.

 

The men who really did fall for me early on, and there were a fair few of them - ALL just went ahead and demonstrated using their actions, rather than have to make a big deal talking about their feelings and " how right things felt":rolleyes:

 

You have been warned.

[Leigh 87]

Just wait until you experience a hardship or a mild setback.

 

My player guy, who I still chat with occasionally over 3 years later - was so busy telling me how gorgeous he thought I was and how excited he was about me and how badly he wanted me and how early he was feeling special feelings for me - yet whenever I had a personal issue that I wanted to talk though (like temporarily looking for a new place to reside and not having a place to stay for the short term). He DISSAPEARED.

 

..then he would re appear the next day and chat to me as though nothing had happened. He wanted no part in any type of conversation that was not pleasant flirty and fun. He did not want to even TALK or RESPOND to me when I would talk about feeing down.

 

I bet this guy bolts the day you declare that you had a sucky week at work and need a shoulder to cry on lol.

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

Just wait until you experience a hardship or a mild setback.

 

My player guy, who I still chat with occasionally over 3 years later - was so busy telling me how gorgeous he thought I was and how excited he was about me and how badly he wanted me and how early he was feeling special feelings for me - yet whenever I had a personal issue that I wanted to talk though (like temporarily looking for a new place to reside and not having a place to stay for the short term). He DISSAPEARED.

 

..then he would re appear the next day and chat to me as though nothing had happened. He wanted no part in any type of conversation that was not pleasant flirty and fun. He did not want to even TALK or RESPOND to me when I would talk about feeing down.

 

I bet this guy bolts the day you declare that you had a sucky week at work and need a shoulder to cry on lol.

 

 

Why on earth are you still interacting with him even occasionally?? He sounds gross.

[grays]

Did you know the average player gets laid 150 tines despite females complaining about him?

 

I would love to know what study came up with this. lol