fromheart Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 Alright so I'll explain what caused the breakup. One day I got really depressed because I had family issues I lost my self esteem and I only had her, I began to overthink things thinking that she doesn't love me anymore I became really jealous I would ask her all these questions to make me feel better. I started texting her everyday no space. Till one day I made a mistake by mentioning one of her bestfriends being her 2nd boyfriend hours later she ended it. I was devastated but managed to heal and got stronger. Yes I did not quickly return her texts or calls, I also told her that I did not have a girlfriend but someone is interested in me. I also told her that I was really busy. So I should let her text me for now? My friend, you need to be actively working on all those things you mention here. Otherwise you're going to hurt and be hurt.
Blanco Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 Sorry, can't get past the fact that you both are high school aged. These relationships don't last. My advice is to be grateful you got the first girlfriend experience at a relatively young age. This forum has a lot of people who are much older than you who are still looking for that first relationship, so take solace in having gotten some key experience sooner than later. Otherwise, anything to do with this girl going forward is a total waste of time.
Author kev432 Posted September 15, 2016 Author Posted September 15, 2016 You're only "play" is to start ignoring her bread crumbs, ego stroking contact w/you. She barks and your jumping. She dumped you, you owe her nothing. Not a reply to her attention seeking contact. Nothing. What you should do? Move on from her. Go out and date. You've only had one GF. What if you meet a new one that REALLY rocks your world and makes you realize how lousy your first one was? There's MILLIONS of woman out there with different personalities, sexual skills, hobbies, interests, etc.. Why put all your effort into the first one you had as a "GF"? Seriously.. Stop letting her screw w/your head. Shut her down by ignoring any further contact. Expend that energy in finding a new hot thing to date and have fun with. Wouldn't it be great to ignore her and a couple of months down the road be out to dinner w/your new hot thing on your arm and run into this ex? That's where your head should be, not trying to recycle your FIRST R/S that ran it's course and ended. Yes decided to man up and told her that if she still loves and wants to be with me then tell me and if not then to stop contacting me and I told her I'd still be open for now and told her that if not I have to remove her from my life. She said she still loves me and is still confused, she asked me if i wanted to continue or remove her I said i want to continue but I wont wait around, told her that we should give each other space for 2 weeks to think things through.
aloneinaz Posted September 15, 2016 Posted September 15, 2016 Yes decided to man up and told her that if she still loves and wants to be with me then tell me and if not then to stop contacting me and I told her I'd still be open for now and told her that if not I have to remove her from my life. She said she still loves me and is still confused, she asked me if i wanted to continue or remove her I said i want to continue but I wont wait around, told her that we should give each other space for 2 weeks to think things through. Not to make you feel bad but this accomplished nothing other than to tell her she still has you wrapped around her little finger. She's still your puppet master who pulls your strings and you move around for her. That entire conversation wasn't necessary my friend. You should of cut contact w/her. You didn't need to explain how you felt nor tell her you're open for now w/time frames? What you should of done is gone silent. Cut off all contact and ignore her if you see her at school. If she pinned you down, you should've said you're no longer interested and you wish her good luck, then walked away. Girls like a challenge and guys with strong self worth. You're showing her none of those things. Want to get the upper hand back? Send ONE final short text. Tell her you've thought it through and are no longer interested and wish her luck. Then cut off all communication. Vanish. Then start flirting w/other girls and find one to ask out. Again, you're young and should be out having fun, dating lots of girls vs. putting that one on a pedestal.
Author kev432 Posted September 16, 2016 Author Posted September 16, 2016 (edited) Not to make you feel bad but this accomplished nothing other than to tell her she still has you wrapped around her little finger. She's still your puppet master who pulls your strings and you move around for her. That entire conversation wasn't necessary my friend. You should of cut contact w/her. You didn't need to explain how you felt nor tell her you're open for now w/time frames? What you should of done is gone silent. Cut off all contact and ignore her if you see her at school. If she pinned you down, you should've said you're no longer interested and you wish her good luck, then walked away. Girls like a challenge and guys with strong self worth. You're showing her none of those things. Want to get the upper hand back? Send ONE final short text. Tell her you've thought it through and are no longer interested and wish her luck. Then cut off all communication. Vanish. Then start flirting w/other girls and find one to ask out. Again, you're young and should be out having fun, dating lots of girls vs. putting that one on a pedestal. I didn't set a time frame by the way I just told her that she has to make a decision its either she makes the decision or I walk away, I think I was being selfish and I might have made a mistake by making an impression of "It's either now or I walk away" but I still gave us space to think about it since I know that she is still in love with me but is very confused about what she wants and she knows I am open but the time is ticking. Well it's a win-win for me right? I'll be moving on starting now and when that 2 weeks is off and if she still contacts me and talks about getting back together then I'll be open but if not then I probably might have moved on already and it's a win-win for me. I won't send her that text as I don't intend to win anything I just want peace. What's your opinion? Edited September 16, 2016 by kev432
sooshi Posted September 16, 2016 Posted September 16, 2016 I'll be moving on starting now and when that 2 weeks is off and if she still contacts me and talks about getting back together then I'll be open but if not then I probably might have moved on already and it's a win-win for me. What's your opinion? My opinion is that you block her now so that you can start moving on now and stay moving on. Also, work on loving yourself, and on building your self-worth and self-respect. Take care. 1
Author kev432 Posted September 16, 2016 Author Posted September 16, 2016 My opinion is that you block her now so that you can start moving on now and stay moving on. Also, work on loving yourself, and on building your self-worth and self-respect. Take care. Ok, I have a question but on a different perspective just curious. I'll still continue moving on by the way. Lets say I still want her back so I give her this "Relationship rules" this is for my self-respect. I go and say "if you want to try again then you still have a chance but if not then I have to remove you from my life." So It's either now or I'm gone. It's selfish isn't it? It also pressures her. Am I right? Even though I've given her the space she'll be pressured right?
aloneinaz Posted September 16, 2016 Posted September 16, 2016 Ok, I have a question but on a different perspective just curious. I'll still continue moving on by the way. Lets say I still want her back so I give her this "Relationship rules" this is for my self-respect. I go and say "if you want to try again then you still have a chance but if not then I have to remove you from my life." So It's either now or I'm gone. It's selfish isn't it? It also pressures her. Am I right? Even though I've given her the space she'll be pressured right? DDDUUUDDDEEEE...... REALLY? Seriously, move on w/your life. 2
Author kev432 Posted September 16, 2016 Author Posted September 16, 2016 DDDUUUDDDEEEE...... REALLY? Seriously, move on w/your life. I AM moving on. I am starting to doubt getting back with her. I'm starting to see how selfish she is and I've wasted time with her. She says the other reason she broke up with me was because she didn't want a relationship till college . Like seriously wtf? She doesn't even think of what I feel after all those memories we've made. And now she comes back and is CONFUSED I realize that I wasn't respecting myself other than that I still want to know the answer to the question above so I can compare what self respect and lets say me wanting to ignore that looks like.
sooshi Posted September 16, 2016 Posted September 16, 2016 Ok, I have a question but on a different perspective just curious. I'll still continue moving on by the way. Lets say I still want her back so I give her this "Relationship rules" this is for my self-respect. I go and say "if you want to try again then you still have a chance but if not then I have to remove you from my life." So It's either now or I'm gone. It's selfish isn't it? It also pressures her. Am I right? Even though I've given her the space she'll be pressured right? If she wanted to be with you, she would be. She'd be putting in so much effort that it would be so clearly obvious. She's been using you to feed her ego. She knows she can have your attention whenever she wants. From her end, this is all about her, and you seem to be making it pretty much all about her as well. Pick up your self-respect and move on. Best to work on your self-esteem so you aren't so needy, jealous, and insecure so that you can be healthier and so that you can have healthier relationships down the road.
aloneinaz Posted September 16, 2016 Posted September 16, 2016 If she wanted to be with you, she would be. She'd be putting in so much effort that it would be so clearly obvious. She's been using you to feed her ego. She knows she can have your attention whenever she wants. From her end, this is all about her, and you seem to be making it pretty much all about her as well. Pick up your self-respect and move on. Best to work on your self-esteem so you aren't so needy, jealous, and insecure so that you can be healthier and so that you can have healthier relationships down the road. This^^ You're young my friend. Keep reading these threads. There's lots for you to learn and understand so you can achieve healthy, mutually rewarding relationships. 1
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