Natalie Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 My boyfriend says that I take advantage of him by letting him watch our 3 month old baby too much. It upsets me, because I never take advantage of anyone. Besides, she is his daughter too. He hurt me when he said that I don't love my daugther, because I don't attend to her when she cries while he is holding her. I don't understand his point of view. All I know is that it hurts.
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 Whew that hurts Do you think his issue is with you or with baby?
Author Natalie Posted July 6, 2005 Author Posted July 6, 2005 I don't know, and I don't think he knows it either. I believe he's too overwhelmed with his first child. I try so hard to cut him some slack. Like for instance, when he wants to play soccer in the afternoon with his friends, I tell him not to feel guilty. He should go and go about his routine every day. Everyone's lives has changed since my baby. I don't go anywhere anymore without his help, because our baby is too small yet. I've been home for 2 whole months with my baby. I haven't been paid a salary while I was on maternity leave, but still I helped him pay the bills. My bankaccount went down almost empty. My insurance paid a big chunk for the medical expenses. I have looked for insurance for my daughter all about, now he doesn't have to worry about that either. I have also help from the government to supply for formula and everyday things (milk, eggs, etc.). Why does he think that I'm taking advantage of him?? It bothers me. Aren't we supposed to do this together? Isn't he the last person to ever say something like that to me?
laRubiaBonita Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 well, do you especially ask him to watchhis daughter when he has plans? Just to spite him? I mean yes, he should take the initiative to be with his child, but you do not leave a baby to watch a baby.
Author Natalie Posted July 6, 2005 Author Posted July 6, 2005 You are right about not leaving a baby to watch a baby. It is kind of vague what he was trying to tell me yestrday. I would never stand in his way if he wants to do anything. He works 7 days a week. I try to leave home as early as possible, so he could start his work on time. I stay at work with my baby from 8:00 am to 8:45 am (i havethe keys), then I drop her off at babysitter. Come back to work at 9:00 am. At 5:00 pm I pick my baby up, then we go togehter home. We only have 1 car and he says I cannot drive the car yet since she's too small and nobody would be watching her. He stops working early. He drives a cab. So he stops at 5:00 instead of 7:00 pm. I can drive home, but he won't let me. At home i have to cook, clean up mess etc. I don't even have time to scratch. Whether he's there or not, I still try to get things done at home. Yesterday he told me too that I don't cook for him....snif...that is a lie. It hurt because I always cook, I try to save money and make it a home for our little family. I hate it when he lies. When he gets upset, he doesn't want to touch my food. Not for several days. He goes outside and buys himself food that he says is much better...snif... Bottomline...I do not let him watch our baby, because I want to go out clubbing or so...I only let him do that when I have housework to do, or need to go to dentist, or doctor...or just to breath.
ReluctantRomeo Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by Natalie Bottomline...I do not let him watch our baby, because I want to go out clubbing or so...I only let him do that when I have housework to do, or need to go to dentist, or doctor...or just to breath. Well, a new baby puts a lot of strain on a family - especially when you already have 2 jobs Have you had an opportunity to sit down and talk through all the different aspects of task allocation in your household?
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