Thunderpants Posted September 11, 2016 Posted September 11, 2016 I had a fabulous childhood. Looking back I have no negative experiences or memories other than my parents getting divorced when I was 14. Obviously this was a hard time but being still young I never really understood why at the time and most of my friends had divorced parents so I learned to accept that my parents were just not in love (or so I thought) Let me start by saying both my mom and dad are absolutely amazing parents. My mom is the kindest sweetest soul and my dads hard work and giving ways to his children is indescribable. I have recently learned from growing closer to my mom a secret. My father used to abuse (I say abuse) but by that I mean physically beat, almost strangle to death and emotionally abuse (death threats) to my mother throughout their marriage and my childhood. Me and my brother were never even slightly aware of it as it was so well hidden. This is absolutely heartbreaking to me as even my mother has said that my father has never harmed a single hair on his children's heads either emotionally or physically and is an outstanding and above average father. I am a daddys little girl and have a very close relationship with him to this day. Learning this has absolutely rocked my world. My mother is my best friend and I feel unbelievable guilt at how strong she was yet I feel so guilty that I could not protect her from something I did not even know was happening I also have been avoiding my father as this has broken something Any advice on next steps
Mr. Lucky Posted September 11, 2016 Posted September 11, 2016 Any advice on next steps The obvious answer is to speak to a trained counselor or therapist, powerful forces at work here. Went through something similar with my in-laws, the issue became obvious after all the kids had left home. We begged my MIL to leave, offered her a place to live, I even physically threatened my FIL, told him I'd kick his *ss if it ever happened again. She never left him and died 10 years ago still married to him. To this day, my wife won't be in the same room with him though other family members don't seem to feel the same way. It's a complex, complicated issue. You have to accept your mom made her own choices about her relationship with your dad for her own reasons. After some consideration, you have a chance to make your own... Mr. Lucky
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