caligal11 Posted September 11, 2016 Posted September 11, 2016 I'm new to the dating scene and also very new to the same sex scene. I've been married to a man for 13 years. I'm 34 now. Actually, I haven't dated since I was 16 years old. Went from one serious relationship to the next, which was my husband. I met this woman and we hit it off. Lots of contact via phone and text. Two or the good dates. Some kissing. I'm still a girl-virgin. This woman is a fem lesbian and I'll call her Janie. She hosted a dinner party the other night along with her roommate. Her roomie has called their condo a "chick pad" and she's been adamant on hooking Janie up with someone, according to Janie- who tells me this. Janie and I don't have a title. We did agree the day of the dinner party that we really like each other and are only speaking to each other and that we both see a future with the other. We're def more than friends with the possibility of more. Janie does live about 2 hours away, which kinda sucks but we try to meet half way. Janie tells me all about this chick her roomie is trying to set her up with and this set-up chick is exactly her type: Janie is into older white women with blue eyes. This woman is exactly that. I tell Janie I'm not too fond of hearing that, but I wish her a great dinner party. Janie texts me during the dinner party to tell me she's not attracted to this woman at all and reassures me she's thinking of me. I find that so sweet. At 11pm, her texts are much different. They are very, very sexual and while I like that, it's different for her. She usually builds up to something sexual. This is direct and very explicit. I go along with it though and she expresses sexual frustration that I'm not there. Soon though, her texts are indecipherable. She's obviously drunk texting me. She can't even spell "hello" correctly. While we always talk before going to bed and say good morning to the other, I don't hear from Janie at all except for a few scattered texts at 3:45am and 4:30am that make no sense. While she usually texts me on her way to work at 7:30am like clockwork, I don't hear from her until 10am. Apparently, she has called off of work. It's obvious to me that she was drunk and she says her roomie went to work hungover. When I tell her a joke about her drunk texts, she becomes a tad defensive. She tells me she was not drunk, only tired, and only had two glasses of wine. I don't believe that to be true, but I'm not her mother. I just don't understand why she isn't honest. Then the story comes out. "I went to my room and found a girl in my bed" she repeats. She tells me it was her straight-ish BFF whom she once "kinda dated." When I ask if anything happened between them, she says "I don't think anything happened." She says that a few times. When I say it's kinda not my fave thing to hear, she tells me it was a bad joke but that nothing happened. Then she tells me that her roomie walked in on them and later asked if she interrupted them sexually. I imply to Janie I want to change the subject and a little later, we hang up. Five minutes later, she's texting me that her roomie wasn't offended that Janie and her BFF didn't say goodbye to anyone (they slept in the same bed that night and her BFF left in the morning) but that her roomie kept asking her if she interrupted them sexually. Her text says "roomie keeps asking me if she interrupted us doing anything lol!" If I've already told Janie I don't want to hear this, why does she keep telling Me? Am I being toyed with? In between this, Janie tells me she missed me and imagined what it would be like with me at the dinner party. I'm a little lost and confused. I feel like she's telling me this on purpose but I'm so new to this. Help?
JewelD Posted September 11, 2016 Posted September 11, 2016 This girl is a hot mess. Drop her. She's clearly not serious about you or she wouldn't be sleeping in bed with other women or going on dates her friend set her up with. and she certainly wouldn't be telling you about any of this if she cared about you. She's just keeping you on the line to string you along.
bubbaganoosh Posted September 11, 2016 Posted September 11, 2016 Wait a minuet. You said your married to a guy for 13 years and now your staring a relationship with a woman? What about your husband? Doesn't he count for anything? Does he know your either gay or bi? There's a lot of pieces missing here. How about filling in the blanks/ So far your teetering on a slippery slope and when you fall, not only are you going to feel the pain but others will too
Author caligal11 Posted September 11, 2016 Author Posted September 11, 2016 (edited) Not living together and waiting for divorce to be finalized. It had been over for 1.5 years before we filed. Long over. I have a huge blind spot when it comes to women. I don't have that with men. With women, I lack clarity. So I visit this site when I double guess myself. I feel utterly confused when it comes to her. I'm not sure of her need to deny the obvious fact that she was drunk. Edited September 11, 2016 by caligal11
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