louxor Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 Quick summary - I've been seeing this girl causally for a few months and it's gotten to that point where most things like this do, she wants to take it to the next level, and I'm unclear on whether I should or shouldn't. There is one main problem which was putting me on edge here, and that was a clash in beliefs. She's a pretty devout Christian (same with her family), and I'm not. It's not hardcore to the point where she won't have sex until marriage (we've already slept together), but religion is big part of her life and how she sees things so it's enough to make me weary about moving forward due to the potential issues that may arise in the future. I feel like her family would have problems fully accepting me (I've met them and they are lovely people, just very strict and religious). We are also quite young (21), she still lives at home and her parents are super strict with boys so it's basically impossible to be affectionate with each other while they're around. She isn't allowed to spend the night with a boy even if they know she's dating him (they think she's a Virgin and want her to wait until marriage). Although we've been making it work where possible in regards to this, it is very constraining. She has also had a boyfriend in the past where things ended due to a similar clash of interests. The whole reason I'm still stuck on this and haven't ended it on the terms of a clash of interest yet is that the way she makes me feel is something that I don't find very often. The best way to describe it would be to say it's that feeling you get when you see someone who you really feel connected to, that feeling that makes you so warm and happy when you just simply look at them. All she has to do is look at me and I'm left with a huge smile - that's how I feel. We get along so well both physically and emotionally. I don't have too much relationship experience (one 2.5yr and one 1yr relationship), but the last time I felt this way about someone was during the 2.5 yr relationship, so these feelings are obviously important. However, I've never been in this situation before, where I'm feeling so connected to someone yet there's this one thing that seems determined to ruin such a good, rare thing. I'm so stumped on what to do and would love to hear what some of you think about it all. Thanks!
leogirl876 Posted September 11, 2016 Posted September 11, 2016 I don't think it's going to work out. If you wanna keep this casual and she doesn't, that's not fair to her to lead her to believe that it's more than casual. Also, the difference in religious views makes dating very difficult, especially if she's super religious and so is her family. If you think you'd like to make this a serious relationship and not be casual, then you should have a conversation with her about what's going on with you and what you're thinking.
Author louxor Posted September 11, 2016 Author Posted September 11, 2016 I don't think it's going to work out. If you wanna keep this casual and she doesn't, that's not fair to her to lead her to believe that it's more than casual. Also, the difference in religious views makes dating very difficult, especially if she's super religious and so is her family. If you think you'd like to make this a serious relationship and not be casual, then you should have a conversation with her about what's going on with you and what you're thinking. oh no I don't want to keep it casual, I'm wanting to move it on to the next level like she is but my issue is whether that would be the right idea or not given the situation
menyou Posted September 11, 2016 Posted September 11, 2016 The way you portray it is her beliefs are NOT the same as her parents, so in not sure what you are worried about.
bubbaganoosh Posted September 11, 2016 Posted September 11, 2016 Good friend of mine is involved with a girl whose a ultra conservative Christian and goes to some off the wall church and he was born and raised a R/C but follows the teachings of Buddahism and her family was "concerned" about it. He basically told her and her family that her religious preference's were hers and he would never disrespect her in that way or let anyone else BUT, he also told her family that he doesn't want anything from them but the same courtesy in return. He said it in a way that was very polite and respectful and if they were such good Christians then they should act like it. So far so good. 1
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