bmne90 Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 So I met this girl in class, she's a few years younger than me. She wrote to me saying that she'd like to hear my stories one day. So I text her back, we hang out with some friends back at my place and had a good time. However, she rarely texts back much, and when she does, it's always one word answers. Others in class have said the same about her. So how do I gauge her interest level in me? How do I go about this? Since I'm older than her, should I be assertive? Thanks everyone in advance
PogoStick Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 Stop asking questions that require 1 word answers "How was your day?"....good. Not exactly poetry is it? Only one way to find out if she is interested. Man up and ask her out on a date. 1
preraph Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 Call her. Lots of people aren't good with texts, don't like it, are terrible spellers. Pick up the phone and just call and talk to her and see if she acts differently.
Author bmne90 Posted September 10, 2016 Author Posted September 10, 2016 Thanks guys for your responses! So I did try and asked her to catch a movie/go eat, but she said she's busy, so I just texted her "ok". A minute later (the fastest she's responded), she asks if it's cause I'm "bored". I just ignored and I'm gonna move on to the next one. I get the feeling she's playing me, so should I just move on?
CarrieT Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 Stop living your life and gauging a person's interest by TEXTING. You need to see facial expressions and body language. Learn to communicate face-to-face.
smackie9 Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 OK great you asked her out and she didn't say yes.....anything said other than a solid yes, is a "not interested" Move on. She is NOT playing you, she just wanted to be friends. Remember just because a girl likes to talk to you or hang out with doesn't mean romantic interest...so don't be hate'n 1
spiderowl Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 Thanks guys for your responses! So I did try and asked her to catch a movie/go eat, but she said she's busy, so I just texted her "ok". A minute later (the fastest she's responded), she asks if it's cause I'm "bored". I just ignored and I'm gonna move on to the next one. I get the feeling she's playing me, so should I just move on? Sounds like she's wondering whether you are genuinely interested in her or just want to pass time with someone. Try reassuring her you are not bored but would like to spend time with her because you like her. She could be very insecure and convinced no-one wants to spend time with her because they like her.
LD1990 Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 It's texting, there's no reason to put too much thought into it. The whole goal is to see her in person. Here are the only two steps you need: 1. Invite her somewhere. 2. If she says she's busy, ask her when she's free. She might actually be busy, so asking when she's free can't hurt, and her response will tell you all you need to know. If she tells you when she's available, you can set something up. If she gives you some BS response like she's "not sure" or "really busy," then move on.
Author bmne90 Posted September 11, 2016 Author Posted September 11, 2016 Hey guys, really appreciate all of your responses! Well, after some deep pondering, I got the feeling she thought I was lame for not having other friends to hangout with, so I texted back letting her know that wanting to hangout with her doesn't mean I'm bored. She hasn't responded. Who knows what she's thinking? It's best I move on...I really do think she's playing games with me, because she's the type who will secretly read my texts but purposely wait a day or so to respond.
Author bmne90 Posted September 11, 2016 Author Posted September 11, 2016 Sounds like she's wondering whether you are genuinely interested in her or just want to pass time with someone. Try reassuring her you are not bored but would like to spend time with her because you like her. She could be very insecure and convinced no-one wants to spend time with her because they like her. Whoa, never thought about that! Then I guess my follow-up text kinda sent the message that I genuinely am interested in her and not just finding someone to pass time with. Thanks for your advice, it's giving me another angle to view this situation
mortensorchid Posted September 11, 2016 Posted September 11, 2016 If you want to ask her out, do so. And then see what she says. This reminds me of a guy I knew in college (way before text messaging). He said he went out with this girl the other weekend and he really likes her. I said "That's nice". He said every time he sees her, though, she screams and runs away from him. He asked me "What do you think that means?" I said "Honey, you don't really need ME to tell you what that means, do you?" Needless to say, he never got anywhere with her. You won't know until you try.
Author bmne90 Posted September 12, 2016 Author Posted September 12, 2016 So I've asked this girl twice to go catch a movie/eat, but to no avail. Both times she responded by asking if I'm "bored and lonely". I figured it could mean she doubts I'm really interested in her, and needed more assurance that I'm not just looking for "someone to pass time" with. When we do hangout, however, she only talks to other guys instead of me, making me jealous on purpose. It worked lol, but I tried my best to act like it didn't faze me. She also admits to purposely waiting to respond to my texts. She acts clueless when I ask her "what's up with all the awkwardness?" I also told her "either you're just not interested in me, or you are, but just playing games with me." She adds that "we haven't even known each other that long", that "any attraction right now is purely based on looks and nothing else." I reply, "I'm someone who goes for what he wants, and gets it." Before leaving, she says, "So...what? We're not gonna talk to each other from now on, is that it?" I said, "Depends on you." Do y'all think she's even interested? Should I still text her? Any advice is appreciated!
VeveCakes Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 why are you bothering? Too much work for first dates...
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