guy.lepage Posted September 9, 2016 Posted September 9, 2016 I haven't posted here in a long while but needed everyone's advice on a bizarre and messy situation I got myself in. I've been going to this massage parlor and met a nice girl. She is quite pretty and also much younger than me. It's not going to end well, I know... In any case, I got to know her reasonably well and offered her a "normal" job at my company which she readily accepted and eventually quit her old job. She gets treated fairly and receives a modest but reasonable hourly wage -- so there are no freebies. At first my goal was to provide her with a temporary position so she could eventually move on to a more serious job. It has been a year now and she still works with me and hasn't sent her resume anywhere. Honestly at first I thought she'd last a month at most. The next thing that surprised me is how well we get along. We spend entire days working together and spend our lunchtime together as well. I could not imagine doing this with any other coworker. I started noticing how she mimics my words and behaviour, and also how she remembers everything that I say or do. When we have lunch she acts like the perfect girlfriend, putting food in my plate, offering me a bite of her meal and sharing a cup of ice cream with me. She is always so nice and attentive. While I was committed to help her and not let feelings get in the way, sadly I think I fell for her. Sometimes the way she acts makes me believe that she may be interested but realistically I don't think so. She once offered to go on a vacation with me but when i seriously offered she found an excuse to say no. Honestly I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I need to burst the bubble and tell her how I feel (at the risk of losing her completely) but it wouldn't be fair because of our work relationship. I can't continue on like this though, it's driving me crazy. I wish I'd find someone new or that she finds a new job so this torture might end.
preraph Posted September 9, 2016 Posted September 9, 2016 Sorry to ask, but is she a masseuse or is she a sex worker? If she's a sex worker, anything she does is going to take money, and they are very adept at stroking your ego and all that. So it's all fake. But if she is a mere masseuse from a reputable massage place, then she's like anyone else. And it sounds like she appreciates your mentorship and views you as friends/mentor. In that case, all you can do is mention to her you are wanting to find someone to date and maybe mention that if you weren't working with her, you'd ask her out. And see what she says. She may have a BF or something. 4
Shanex Posted September 9, 2016 Posted September 9, 2016 (edited) Sorry to ask, but is she a masseuse or is she a sex worker? Good question, beat me to it. If she's a sex worker, anything she does is going to take money, and they are very adept at stroking your ego and all that. So it's all fake. We've had this debate quite regularily on LS... many guys have come and go here (and were blatantly called naives all the time) asking if sex workers hanging out with them out of paid 'dates', or were giving them freebies actually like them, I think that's entirely possible. Rare, but possible. Not every sex workers is a heartless, manipulative beast. At the moment a sex workers start giving freebies and go out with you outside of their work schedule, they obviously like you - be that friendship, or more. Yet, she is much younger than the OP, and he seems to think he is delusional, and is realistic too (not going to end too well) Your first question stands though, curious to know, and this could be another loaded thread. Personally, I think that if the sex worker is about your age, do the 'job' occasionally (implying she does for extra money out of a regular job) and is a rather lonely person, it's plausible for something to happen, more than clients/escorts... But that doesn't seem to be the story of the OP. It's true that too many guys are mistaking great/awesome sex with an escort to feelings when most of them don't want to date their clients at all, even if they may enjoy the sex and sometimes their company. Edited September 9, 2016 by Shanex
Author guy.lepage Posted September 10, 2016 Author Posted September 10, 2016 Thanks for posting guys. I have not been her client since she started working for me last year and she has stopped altogether now. I offered her a regular job at a regular rate and have never alluded to her previous life.
PogoStick Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 If you REALLY want to approach this then ask her out to dinner. Tell her you would like to date her but you can't while you are working together. Ask if she feels the same way. If you're in agreement then tell her you can't pursue a relationship until she finds a new job, offer to help with the resume and search. Also, make it clear that if she isn't interested in a relationship that you'll put it behind you and maintain a strictly professional relationship. At that point, you need to put that into practice; meaning no more lunch together, sharing ice cream, etc. 1
TheWoman Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 Shes being lovely to you because she seriously values the employment opportunity you have given her. I would say she is desperate to keep the job. contrary to popular opinion many sex workers do not want to be doing what they are doing. And even if they earn much less money in a legitimate job they will do it - given the opportunity, which is the hard part. Please don't fire her because you fancy her and she doesn't feel the same way. You say she is doing a good job, and its honest money, no freebies etc If you really cant keep working with her, then do every you can to help her secure employment elsewhere first. Its much easier to get a job when you have job. Perhaps a chat about her careers goals would help point you both in the right direction. Some work on her resume, a great reference, some interview practise etc. She probably has no confidence either which maybe why shes not looked elsewhere. 1
smackie9 Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 Ever hear of the expression "brown noser"? or "brown nosing?" Urban Dictionary: brown noser 1
preraph Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 You still didn't answer the question. Was she a sex worker?
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