Can I get some input?

[B33F24]

Hey everyone,

 

So I recently started a new relationship with a woman whom I had been going on dates with for about 2 months. Anyways, things are great, we see each other often, communicate on a daily basis, go on dates, etc... My need for advice is more related to how I perceive and or overthink things in my head. We generally see each other 3-4 times a week or more depending on work and usually spend the night at one another's house. She has flat out told me that she wants to see me and spend time with me as much as possible and I feel the same way. My issue is, could this cause her to get sick of seeing/being with me? There are plenty of things we do apart from each other and each have our own group of friends, etc... I just don't want it to cause things to fizzle all of the sudden.

 

My second question is I am the type of person that if something is on my mind I am going to say and or ask it rather then let it stew inside. However, more often than not I feel as though me asking something is annoying and or an inconvenience to her. She has never indicated this or hinted at it, it's more of me overthinking things and getting inside my head. If I make one mistake or say something stupid, that's it, she's gonna get fed up, etc... I think this likely stems from my last relationship being pretty ****ty and even though it's been awhile it makes these thoughts sit in the back of my head.

 

Any advice on how I can not worry about this and assume the worst?

 

Thanks

[preraph]

I wonder if these thoughts aren't you projecting how you are onto her. Whether they are or they're not, you're projecting someone else onto her and expecting a bad result. If you personally feel too much is too much, then don't escalate to seeing her all the time. It certainly can lead to burnout. As far as talking to her, you won't know until you do, and you need to find out where her limits are by communicating with her.

 

My advice is stop looking for problems that aren't there yet. And most of all, do everything in moderation. Don't go overboard, and don't do too little. Just take a conservative approach to time spent and amount of time spent talking about serious things, and be sure everything is balanced with time to herself, time to yourself, and frivolous time spent together having fun and NOT talking seriously.

 

Good luck.

[scooby-philly]

I totally agree with preraph. It sounds like you are worrying about something that isnt there. If you didnt hve a lot of dating experience at a younger age, have anxiety issues, have low self esteem, etc., those thoughts and worries can buble up. Most people will let you know if something is bothering them and even if she isnt as communacative as others she cant hold it in forever and if she doesnt tell you then its nit your fault for her actions.

 

It sounds like its at a good point at 2+ months. Ive found out the hard way about balance and can relate to how you feel. Find someone you can confide in or at worst post on here as much as you need. If she cant tell you what she needs or cant tell you when you bother her.... again thats on her and not you. Just keep in mind not to lose yourself as you said. Good couples arent copies of each other and respect each others interests and needs.