Can I keep this hidden from my BF indefinitely? [update: told BF]

[blackcat777]

Good on you for telling him.

 

I think the fact that you can maintain a strictly professional relationship with an ex speaks volumes about strength of character. The fact that it has gone on this way for years without any drama says a lot about your ability to stay professional and manage personal issues.

 

Another perspective.

[BaileyB]

Well done. Your relationship will grow from this...

[mortensorchid]

Since you can't get every single person around you to hide the fact, should it come up and he (your bf) questions you about it, just say something like this: "(Name), my boss, actually used to be my bf years ago. But, we aren't together anymore, we have a good working relationship today, and that's all it is." If he is angry or offended by this fact ... Well, there is nothing you can do about it. You told the truth, that's all it is. You're with him now, and that's what matters. And if he is so angry or feels that the former bf is still in competition with you, then you really don't have much to stand on with the present bf. He should be secure enough that he knows that he is what matters today rather than him. Fact.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I have an old, very old semi-secret that I do not want to disclose to my BF. Pretty much everybody around me (family, friends, colleagues) know of it so I am afraid one of these days someone will say something.

 

My last long term relationship ended in 2004. This man and I were together for 4 years, we had a house together and the whole nine yard. The secret is that this ex owns the company I work for, he is my boss.

 

With everything I read on here on men unable to handle their GF having an ex in her life I am getting worried.

 

BF and I spent last weekend at my parents. At breakfast table I said something about work and my dad replied by naming my boss by his first name. I stopped breathing for a moment. Afterward I told mom my BF did not know my boss is my ex and don't wish to bring it up either.

 

Boss and I history is so old I don't view him as an ex anymore. Our contacts are strictly professional and he has never, not even once, act unprofessional around me in the past 12 years.

 

So I see 2 choices.

A) I tell boyfriend

B) I tell everyone around me to not bring it up.

 

Dilemma dilemma!

 

 

Most important is your not guarding this secret AS IF it is that important (anymore).

 

 

It would be your nervousness over the factor, rather than the factor itself, which would concern me, were I such a mate.

[Gaeta]

Thank you again everyone for your advice and support. Looks like everything is back to normal :-) Last night he asked me how had been my day at work and how's E and her latest project. Me happy !

[GemmaUK]

Fantastic news!

 

He might still have a few questions that come up - but as it is you've told him and he could well see this as a more long term thing with you having been open and honest about it. He's in on it - therefore more involved.