Jazzzy92 Posted September 9, 2016 Posted September 9, 2016 It's been 4 months since the break up but mind you we've had history for about 4 years. I cant help but think about him everyday but each day its different, some days I wake up wondering what could've been if things turned out the way I would've wanted them to & others I wonder why I still miss him. We've been on & off ever since we first met. I dont understand why I love him but I do??? I guess I'm just used to us being on & off that I feel like he might come back. I try to talk to my brothers about the situation since men understand each other better. For example he had me blocked(on facebook) for sometime and randomly unblocked me one day. I asked my brother's why he'd do that for but they said it could've been because 1. Misses me 2. Wants me to see how great hes doing without me. (after realizing he had unblocked me, I blocked him) I try not to think about him but sometimes the thought of him gets to me and then I start to think about all these different scenarios, I feel so foolish. What can I do in order to just accept the fact that he's gone? I'm not dating at the moment because I just dont feel like talking to anyone, I tried but I knew right off the bat I'd just be wasting their time so I'm just doing what I usually do, school, gym, work. My friends are the type to go out and party but I've never been into that kind of stuff and a few of my gym buddies like to drink a lot so theres that.
Heatemyheart89 Posted September 9, 2016 Posted September 9, 2016 Hey It's so hard for you to accept because 4 years is a long time . I have done the creating scenarios thing , still do ! You did the right thing by blocking the ex on fb. He could have unblocked you 'just because '. I wouldn't read too much into it . My ex called me the other day just to be nosy . I think you need to get out there and do something fun . Even if you go out with the drinkers ,drink softies ? You may enjoy partying , it doesn't have to be about drink you may meet some cool new people .
Bialy Posted September 9, 2016 Posted September 9, 2016 I know what you're going through! Just remember that the relationship with your ex was "off and on" --- you deserve consistency! I don't know if I'd recommend going out and drinking. Alcohol is a depressant and will make you feel worse. There's nothing wrong with hanging out and enjoying life -- but the partying lifestyle can get expensive and could make you more depressed. 1
Heart..PLS STAHP Posted September 9, 2016 Posted September 9, 2016 I have more or less the same case as you do. We were 3 years together on and off and feeling the same right now as you do. I still miss her and I did exactly as your ex did - blocked her on FB then unblocked her. I'll tell you right now that the reason why I did it is to preserve my fragile heart in the first months of breaking up. Once I felt remotely better I unblocked her because I thought it is not as mature to block someone who was such a big part of your life. I did the mistake of checking her profile pic which again turned into some tears but oh well... time heals I guess. I learned to live with the pain. Hopefully one day it will pass but I'm not making false assumptions that she may come back or anything. I just have to accept it is over and move on one day. For now I'm just living with the pain sometimes knowingly sometimes in my play-pretend but it works. At least for now... You should do the same.
NotASkunk Posted September 9, 2016 Posted September 9, 2016 I totally feel your pain. I am recently out of a long-term relationship and letting go was very difficult. Ultimately, once you do realize it's over it's best to move on and put him out of your mind as much as possible by taking care of yourself. It's not easy, it will definitely take some time. I didn't think that I would get through my break up to this point. It does get easier. In your heart you can wish him the best and start to think about focusing on just yourself. Once you're feeling more secure and study you will want to start dating again and that could definitely help you feel better. You're smart to wait until you're ready! This forum s a great resource for getting support and advice and it gives you a chance to see that a lot of other people are going through the same thing. Hoping for the best for you!
BC1980 Posted September 9, 2016 Posted September 9, 2016 For most people, it is difficult to accept that it's truly over. Even 4 months out, it is difficult to accept it. You might know that logically, it's over, but your heart feels differently. Also, not keeping NC hinders your eventual acceptance of the finality of it all. If you keep in contact in any way, you won't accept that it's over. You will still live in a fantasy world for a long time. Especially if you are in contact over social media. With social media, you can really live in a fantasy world, which is why I find social media so dangerous after a breakup. You have a little window into someone's life, and you think you are actually a part of the person's life through what equals voyeurism. You really need to cut off all contact and act like the person doesn't exist. If you do that, you will eventually find acceptance. It might take awhile, but it will come eventually.
Alamo657 Posted September 9, 2016 Posted September 9, 2016 Maintining a social media connection (even if it's as low-key as stalking the other person's profile), is equal to seeing the person from afar regularly. It will drag you back. Sure, the whole "mature people keep in touch and don't block each other" is designed to make you feel guilty about protecting your broken heart, but ultimately it's the opinhion of the dumper and it's meaningless, because that person feels you are irrelevant enough in their life to go and find someone else to share it with. But i also believe checking the social media after some months, witnessing the "happy pictures" of a new budding relationship, while a shock, is good for the long term because it makes the acceptance faster in the grand scheme of things. At least that's what it did for me, i went from expecting at least an apology for the circumstances of the BU, to simply blocking the person for good as a symbolic act of me not caring enough anymore to leave a window open. I thought that on a basic level, friends don't lie, manipulate and insult each others, so there was nothing left for me in this person. 1
Lovelost67 Posted September 10, 2016 Posted September 10, 2016 Hi to everyone this is my first time doing anything like this so I'm just trying to see if anyone is getting this. Please let me know. Thanks
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