InsatiableStar Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 I broke up with my ex six months ago after five years. I left because I thought he was not committed and possibly cheating. We still talk/text now like best of friends but the text he sent last night has shocked me. It said "Can I be honest and you wont get mad?". I thought he was going to tell me that he was seeing someone which would have upset me, but then it said he had to go to a brothel for oral sex because he needed release. I guess that means there isn't someone else How could I be mad?????? Is that a normal reaction? How would you feel? I don't know why I don't care because I do still love him. I guess it is because there wont be feelings involved. Am I normal?????
Zaira Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 Love him, but not in love with him? If you can be best friends without emotions getting in the way, then I don't see why it would worry you.
Author InsatiableStar Posted July 6, 2005 Author Posted July 6, 2005 Originally posted by ~Zaira~ Love him, but not in love with him? Something like that. I would love to have him back in my life as more but I know it would never be the kind of relationship I am really wanting. I feel like I should be more jealous or something
morrigan Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 I think your feelings are normal--your relationship with him is over, you felt he may have cheated on you. You apparently don't hate him, but his personal choices no longer have the impact on your life they did when you were with him. Why your ex felt the need to divulge is something else--either he's always been this honest with his friends, or he's hoping to make you jealous or somehow lure you back. If my ex bf (who I haven't seen in years) told me out of the blue he was going to the Bunny Ranch, I'd probably wish him a fun trip and laugh my butt off, but he could skip over the details.
upsetnhurt Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 Insatiable, Why would he tell you this? Do you think he is hoping for you to say that the next time he needs release he should not go there yet to come to you and you will help him out? I think that is the case. Please don't fall into his trap. I am a man and I see this all the time..........
Author InsatiableStar Posted July 6, 2005 Author Posted July 6, 2005 We live thousands of miles apart so its impossible for us to meet up for anything but I know if I was close by then he would expect it from me. I would most likely give too because I have not been even remotely interested in anyone since we broke up. I just dont know how Id feel afterwards. He has always been this honest with me. I think he feels as though I am the only person in the world that understands him and I prob am I am glad that he told me I just think maybe I am a bit weird for not being cut up by the whole thing. I may actually be over him Although there are times I still cry over him.
lindya Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 I think he feels as though I am the only person in the world that understands him I hope you don't get too hooked into the business of being the eternally understanding ex. It won't necessarily bring the long term rewards you might be hoping for.
sammi_jay Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 if your still as close as you seem to be its gonna be hard for you to move on and meet someone u deserve to be completely happy with. It could even cause problems if and when you are in another relationship that you are that close. my recent boyf (now x) split up with me cos i was still friends with an x and he was from nearly 3 yrs ago. Shame he didnt tell me how he felt about me being friendly with x's or men i dated before he thought he caught me red handed cheatin on him as the x got in my bed when i was asleep, and he fell asleep himself. I know i'm not the only person this has happened to but i also know that bein close to an x cos your just mates and comfortable with eachother as just mates can make for an uneasy relationship with a new man in your life. It might do you good to put some distance between u and him and i dont mean as in miles as you already are miles apart.
Author InsatiableStar Posted July 8, 2005 Author Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by sammi_jay if your still as close as you seem to be its gonna be hard for you to move on and meet someone u deserve to be completely happy with. It could even cause problems if and when you are in another relationship that you are that close. my recent boyf (now x) split up with me cos i was still friends with an x and he was from nearly 3 yrs ago. Shame he didnt tell me how he felt about me being friendly with x's or men i dated before he thought he caught me red handed cheatin on him as the x got in my bed when i was asleep, and he fell asleep himself. I know i'm not the only person this has happened to but i also know that bein close to an x cos your just mates and comfortable with eachother as just mates can make for an uneasy relationship with a new man in your life. It might do you good to put some distance between u and him and i dont mean as in miles as you already are miles apart. You are right. I am having trouble getting over him. I find that he calls and texts whenever he wants something, but if I want to talk my contact goes unanswered. I finallygot a hold of him and he tells me he didn't end up going to the brothel. It's left a lot of unanswered questions yet again. He asked me if I had rung just to ask him that, which I hadn't, but his tone was so upsetting I hung up on him. I then sent a text telling him to have a nice life and I wasn't going to waste my time on him anymore.
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