lbvp Posted September 8, 2016 Posted September 8, 2016 (edited) I was dating this guy on and off for 3 years now almost. We met online on a social media website. When we first hung out it was good, not anything bad that I remember. Except the 4th time we hung out I went to his house and I remember getting scared because he woke up kind of confused and said he could see through my face it was just strange and acting creepy. So I called my EX (the only person i knew in the state) to come pick me up at 2AM. He was a really good person. He took me to church, checked on me everyday, very committed BUT not for me. NO, im not in to bad boys or anything but he does not make me happy. I honestly cannot remember a time he even made me laugh or even feel in love. It always felt like a friend vibe but I stayed because he was a good guy so maybe later I would feel different (never happened) He tells over 20 jokes when I see him and it just annoys me but he cracks up everytime. Even when we would have sex, it would NEVER last more than 5-10 seconds...SECONDS. So eventually I told him I didn't want to have it anymore because he cannot control himself and I dont want to end up pregnant. Around this time last year, I broke up with him and he would send over 500+ text messages without me even responding. Even though I told him it was over he would text and text as if he was having a conversation with hisself, for months. So I had to block him from everything. He then began to make over 15 social media accounts (because he was blocked from his) and would write me from there. Once I blocked it, he would hurry and make another and message me from there. As well as contacting my friends . Also, he would make comments about wanting to kill himself. He has never been in a relationship before, or had much of a family so I am guessing that plays a big part. He was always very clingy and had to hold my hand at every moment even when I gave signs he didnt want too. I made a HUGE mistake and texted him to ask him about something important. Then we hung out 2 times in regards to that but I thought it was just as friends since it has been a year maybe he moved on. Now everything is starting back again. He told all of his friends and mom that we are together again. He sends "goodmoring babe" "I love you" texts and we have not see eachother or even kissed in a year. I don't know what to do it's like he will never understand. I'm a really nice person and don't want to say anything too bad to hurt anyone but I have told him dozens of times that are not right for eachother. I just dont have any feelings for him. To be honest his attachment really creeps me out, I never had this happen before. Edited September 9, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Frozensushi Posted September 9, 2016 Posted September 9, 2016 I broke up with him and he would send over 500+ text messages without me even responding. Even though I told him it was over he would text and text as if he was having a conversation with hisself, for months. Yikes, he sounds really creepy. He's got a very unhealthy obsession with you. You need to state clearly in a direct manner that you don't want a relationship with him. Make sure you clarify it with him so he knows exactly what you mean. Then I'd block him on everything and change your phone number. 10 second sex. That's really a bummer. Sounds like he's got a lot of issues.
Methodical Posted September 9, 2016 Posted September 9, 2016 People advocate No Contact for many reasons and you are experiencing one of them. He is beyond obsessed. You can't give a person with that kind of mentality an inch. In his case, he perceived that as you reaching out, opening the door again, needing/wanting him. You need to shut him down again, and once you get that door closed, deadbolt it. 1
l8estnews Posted September 9, 2016 Posted September 9, 2016 Sounds like a good setting for a psycho suspense-thriller movie to me.... Initiate NC at once, and watch out for yourself.
LastAcorn99 Posted September 9, 2016 Posted September 9, 2016 Your ex-boyfriend does sound obsessive. And, it looks like you sent him mixed signals when you contacted him again. I would suggest that you meet him face to face, and tell him, very clearly, where you stand concerning him.
LostOnes05 Posted September 9, 2016 Posted September 9, 2016 I mean really look at it from his POV (although skewed a bit with some of the other stuff). Just trying to give you a different perspective on it. You're in bed with a guy and call him at 2AM to pick you up because you're afraid of the X-Files See-thru man. Then you call him to ask him important stuff. Kinda seems like you're using him, no? I mean Mr. Dependable when you need him, but otherwise annoying to you. I do think he is obsessed with you from what you wrote, so tread carefully with that. Because there is no way im getting out of bed at 2AM to pick up a semi-ex/ex that was just in bed with another guy (the Y chromosome my father gave me wouldn't allow that). The only way to stop it is to distance yourself from him. So if you and the X-Ray vision man get back in touch and he has an episode either get some cab numbers before going, Uber, Lyft, or lay back down, close your eyes and pray for morning to hurry up. Best of luck, but leave the guy alone. He's obsessed with you and you're kinda using him, which is reinforcing his thought process and behavior...bad combo.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 9, 2016 Posted September 9, 2016 You need to be honest and say it's not going to happen and to please stop contacting you. Then block, delete, whatever you need to do. And do not reach out again. 1
Redhead14 Posted September 9, 2016 Posted September 9, 2016 I was dating this guy on and off for 3 years now almost. We met online on a social media website. When we first hung out it was good, not anything bad that I remember. Except the 4th time we hung out I went to his house and I remember getting scared because he woke up kind of confused and said he could see through my face it was just strange and acting creepy. So I called my EX (the only person i knew in the state) to come pick me up at 2AM. He was a really good person. He took me to church, checked on me everyday, very committed BUT not for me. NO, im not in to bad boys or anything but he does not make me happy. I honestly cannot remember a time he even made me laugh or even feel in love. It always felt like a friend vibe but I stayed because he was a good guy so maybe later I would feel different (never happened) He tells over 20 jokes when I see him and it just annoys me but he cracks up everytime. Even when we would have sex, it would NEVER last more than 5-10 seconds...SECONDS. So eventually I told him I didn't want to have it anymore because he cannot control himself and I dont want to end up pregnant. Around this time last year, I broke up with him and he would send over 500+ text messages without me even responding. Even though I told him it was over he would text and text as if he was having a conversation with hisself, for months. So I had to block him from everything. He then began to make over 15 social media accounts (because he was blocked from his) and would write me from there. Once I blocked it, he would hurry and make another and message me from there. As well as contacting my friends . Also, he would make comments about wanting to kill himself. He has never been in a relationship before, or had much of a family so I am guessing that plays a big part. He was always very clingy and had to hold my hand at every moment even when I gave signs he didnt want too. I made a HUGE mistake and texted him to ask him about something important. Then we hung out 2 times in regards to that but I thought it was just as friends since it has been a year maybe he moved on. Now everything is starting back again. He told all of his friends and mom that we are together again. He sends "goodmoring babe" "I love you" texts and we have not see eachother or even kissed in a year. I don't know what to do it's like he will never understand. I'm a really nice person and don't want to say anything too bad to hurt anyone but I have told him dozens of times that are not right for eachother. I just dont have any feelings for him. To be honest his attachment really creeps me out, I never had this happen before. not anything bad that I remember. Except the 4th time we hung out I went to his house and I remember getting scared because he woke up kind of confused and said he could see through my face it was just strange and acting creepy. -- I don't understand why you are so confused or surprised that this guy is creeping you out NOW. A guy who scared me/creeped me out to the point of having to call my EX to come get me, would never have seen nor heard from me ever again. Change your phone number and block him from social media venues. I made a HUGE mistake and texted him to ask him about something important. Then we hung out 2 times -- And never make this huge mistake again.
elisalynn Posted September 9, 2016 Posted September 9, 2016 I've dated two people that ended up a bit like this. With the one, we were in the same clubs in college and same friends, so there was no avoiding seeing him alllll the time. He was very manipulative, telling me he was going to kill himself, banging on my door yelling in the middle of the night, etc. This went on for almost 2 years (after the breakup) until I got to my total breaking point. We found a mutual friend who was wise and older than us and sat down and talked it out. I told him that we could not be around each other and he could not talk to me or try to manipulate me any more. I was done with it. He actually stopped. The other guy, we broke up right before I moved out of the state. So, that helped. I tried to still talk to him for a while, but then he began threatening to come out to where I moved to and threatening to harm me. He started calling all of the stores in the area that I worked at to try to find where I worked. So, I filed a police report and texted him that he was harassing me, that I filed a police report, and that any further contact would count as telephonic harassment. He did not stop contacting me, he was out of state, so there wasn't much I could do, especially couldn't get a restraining order. I just stopped adding people on facebook for a long time, never answered unknown numbers, blocked every email or number he contacted me from, etc. For a year or two there would still be bursts of him trying to contact me, and still periodically since then. It's 7 years later and I still don't answer unknown numbers. So, I guess I'm sharing my story to say that in one case, having a sit down, with a witness and friend, and drawing the line worked in one case. And just going NC in the other sort of just kept me out of being engaged in the emotional battle and he slowly left my life. If he lives near you, get a stalking order against him and file a police report.
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