Was just out on a break ( feel like im in limbo)

[Alexlexus]

I forum. New guy here and head of a podcast show on talking about relationships.

 

I am in need of an outside prospective. I have been in now in a soon to be 10month relationship with my gf ( idk if i can still call her that cause of the confusion).

 

Everything was great in the begining, we got along ,went out often, etc. I met her family and she has met mine and she even gotme a dog which we both have been caring for together.my sisters love her which is a big plus.

over time we had bumps here and there as we are still learning each other reactions to different things. Its normal but for the most part everything I thought was ok. even during the disagreements we have been able to effectively communicate to reach a middle ground.

 

I have made it my priority to communicate because i saw my parents failed relationship start off great and fall apart as i got older. I refused to repeat my mom and dads mistaken.

 

My GF put me on break last week following a conversation about our plans to marry next year. by the time we would have started the proces we would have close to 1 yr and a half of time together. I didn't want to rush but i feel I found my partner for the rest of my life. She told me that she spoke to her dad about why wearent married yet and moved in with each other. Her dad is a wonderful man and he accepted me into the family as wecome from different races and culture. but i think he put some pressure or opened some thoughts in my GF because she tells me the next day that she wants to take a break. I asked why and in my mind started trying to see what i did wrong or was it something from a past argument resurfacing. she then stop taking my calls and resorted to txting only.

 

she says she needs for us to see if this is really what we want. I tell her i already know what i want . I saw that she was posting things on instgram which has me wondering whats going on. during our last conversation she said she needs to find out what she make her happy within herself and she has to figure hersel out right now. she felt depressed and emotinal according to her txt that followed. I asked her to call me but she refused again and kept texting me. I began to get angery as I felt this was something similar happening I saw when my parents because to seperate. I old her a break is like running away from any issues and I needed to now if It was about me wanting to wait to get married or feeling family pressure to be married by her family. her social media postings are themed about making herself happy, and that no one will dim her sparkle. I dont understand but this has hurt me and having slept in 4days.

 

I used to work in Corperate Information technology within Metlife and was l laid of. after losing my job 3months ago I felt that my choice to wait to get married really came into place cause i need to get back to work or go back on active duty army to make sure i can support her when we got married. I was dealing with that and now dealing with this.

 

Every break i faced in my life was basically the break up as the females never came back or contacted me again. they kept me handing in limbo and that was horrible for me. i stated this to my GF and she said don't compare me with them. She was right on that statement however my fears and crazy thoughts began to stir once she said you do you and i will do me. She also stated that I will hear from her in a few weeks.

 

I askd her to explain you do you and i do me comment. some would take it as an open invitation for allowing for things to go bad. I have no plans of seeing anyone but i never got any clarity or rules of this break. alot of guessing on my end. I know this if anything physical happens on her end I am done.( i don't know why tho after all our plans to and how in love we were).

 

If i did something wrong I don't think its fair to put me on break without an explaination, and if put on break i need to know the do's and don'ts of this down time. this way i can be respected enough to be given a choice to agree to the terms or walk.

 

I think breaks are stupid because they dont resolve the issues that are there. asking for space is fine but i am very in my thoughts about the you do you and I do me thing cause again my deal breaker is someone else comes into the picture. I been staying busy, closing in on a new job and getting ready for promotion in the army. but yet my mind is still wonder on her. what should i do? i am in mental limbo

 

hurt and confused

[marky00]

That kind of happened to me.

 

 

I'd say your time of difficulty may have been the catalyst. Some people (especially women) have little patience when their man gets into issues that he can't handle well.

 

 

I had a similar thought process to you, how can I ask her to marry me when I'm going through all this. Unfortunately, they don't see it that way. They don't really care what issues you are going through, they just expect that you will get through them rather quickly or not let the affect the relationship in anyway.

 

 

Reading the signs, Id say she saw a side of you she didn't like, became unsure and now is probably even more unsure after the marriage talk.

 

 

I don't want to be negative, But I have and am going through the same thing (for much longer than you).

 

 

I think you should back off from the contact totally. Anymore contact will push her further away and I think she already has 1 leg out the door.

 

 

Just ghost her right now. She may not even contact you but if she does, do not respond right away. Post here and we will tell you if you should reply or not.

Edited September 8, 2016 by marky00

[Alexlexus]

That kind of happened to me.

 

 

I'd say your time of difficulty may have been the catalyst. Some people (especially women) have little patience when their man gets into issues that he can't handle well.

 

 

I had a similar thought process to you, how can I ask her to marry me when I'm going through all this. Unfortunately, they don't see it that way. They don't really care what issues you are going through, they just expect that you will get through them rather quickly or not let the affect the relationship in anyway.

 

 

Reading the signs, Id say she saw a side of you she didn't like, became unsure and now is probably even more unsure after the marriage talk.

 

 

I don't want to be negative, But I have and am going through the same thing (for much longer than you).

 

 

I think you should back off from the contact totally. Anymore contact will push her further away and I think she already has 1 leg out the door.

 

 

Just ghost her right now. She may not even contact you but if she does, do not respond right away. Post here and we will tell you if you should reply or not.

 

thanks for responding.

 

ok i will do that. this is not an easy time and alot of guys try to hit on her which has me even more pissed off. her facebook status still says she is in a relationship with me but....i am still drilled over the you do you and i do me. i want to know what that means. she said google what a break means etc. I even asked directly are we broken up she said no we arent but kinda. too vague i need the black and white explaination since i am a soldier i function like that. clear direction or a clear situation. if she dates under any circumstance ...she will have been the one to end it. this is killing me. I am in my now late 30's fearing that my prime time to have a family will be past me. She and I were just fine and the little things pile up.

 

i also wanted to mention my parents had alot of outside folks messing up their relationship. my aunt was always in my moms ear and my grand mother. it made my mom mistreat my father and was verbally abusive.

When she talked to her dad about the marrying topic it kinda pissed me off because i think i wouldnt be in this had folks minded their business.

[Redhead14]

I forum. New guy here and head of a podcast show on talking about relationships.

 

I am in need of an outside prospective. I have been in now in a soon to be 10month relationship with my gf ( idk if i can still call her that cause of the confusion).

 

Everything was great in the begining, we got along ,went out often, etc. I met her family and she has met mine and she even gotme a dog which we both have been caring for together.my sisters love her which is a big plus.

over time we had bumps here and there as we are still learning each other reactions to different things. Its normal but for the most part everything I thought was ok. even during the disagreements we have been able to effectively communicate to reach a middle ground.

 

I have made it my priority to communicate because i saw my parents failed relationship start off great and fall apart as i got older. I refused to repeat my mom and dads mistaken.

 

My GF put me on break last week following a conversation about our plans to marry next year. by the time we would have started the proces we would have close to 1 yr and a half of time together. I didn't want to rush but i feel I found my partner for the rest of my life. She told me that she spoke to her dad about why wearent married yet and moved in with each other. Her dad is a wonderful man and he accepted me into the family as wecome from different races and culture. but i think he put some pressure or opened some thoughts in my GF because she tells me the next day that she wants to take a break. I asked why and in my mind started trying to see what i did wrong or was it something from a past argument resurfacing. she then stop taking my calls and resorted to txting only.

 

she says she needs for us to see if this is really what we want. I tell her i already know what i want . I saw that she was posting things on instgram which has me wondering whats going on. during our last conversation she said she needs to find out what she make her happy within herself and she has to figure hersel out right now. she felt depressed and emotinal according to her txt that followed. I asked her to call me but she refused again and kept texting me. I began to get angery as I felt this was something similar happening I saw when my parents because to seperate. I old her a break is like running away from any issues and I needed to now if It was about me wanting to wait to get married or feeling family pressure to be married by her family. her social media postings are themed about making herself happy, and that no one will dim her sparkle. I dont understand but this has hurt me and having slept in 4days.

 

I used to work in Corperate Information technology within Metlife and was l laid of. after losing my job 3months ago I felt that my choice to wait to get married really came into place cause i need to get back to work or go back on active duty army to make sure i can support her when we got married. I was dealing with that and now dealing with this.

 

Every break i faced in my life was basically the break up as the females never came back or contacted me again. they kept me handing in limbo and that was horrible for me. i stated this to my GF and she said don't compare me with them. She was right on that statement however my fears and crazy thoughts began to stir once she said you do you and i will do me. She also stated that I will hear from her in a few weeks.

 

I askd her to explain you do you and i do me comment. some would take it as an open invitation for allowing for things to go bad. I have no plans of seeing anyone but i never got any clarity or rules of this break. alot of guessing on my end. I know this if anything physical happens on her end I am done.( i don't know why tho after all our plans to and how in love we were).

 

If i did something wrong I don't think its fair to put me on break without an explaination, and if put on break i need to know the do's and don'ts of this down time. this way i can be respected enough to be given a choice to agree to the terms or walk.

 

I think breaks are stupid because they dont resolve the issues that are there. asking for space is fine but i am very in my thoughts about the you do you and I do me thing cause again my deal breaker is someone else comes into the picture. I been staying busy, closing in on a new job and getting ready for promotion in the army. but yet my mind is still wonder on her. what should i do? i am in mental limbo

 

hurt and confused

 

In a long term relationship, breaks can be useful if handled properly and the terms of the break are clear between the parties. The break must have specific end date and not longer than 2 weeks in my book. At the end of that period, both parties must be prepared to come together to talk clearly and specifically about why the break was necessary and what it is they have decided and what is or is not negotiable, etc. A few weeks would be unacceptable to me.

 

Generally, however, if someone tells me they need space without specifics regarding the break, etc., I become NASA and they can contact Houston when/if they figure out what their problem is. If they take too long, they may not have a place to land.

 

Tell her you want a specific date as to when you two would come back together to discuss the issues. If she refuses, you tell her to take all the time she needs but don't count on you to be there when/if she comes back.

[Alexlexus]

In a long term relationship, breaks can be useful if handled properly and the terms of the break are clear between the parties. The break must have specific end date and not longer than 2 weeks in my book. At the end of that period, both parties must be prepared to come together to talk clearly and specifically about why the break was necessary and what it is they have decided and what is or is not negotiable, etc. A few weeks would be unacceptable to me.

 

Generally, however, if someone tells me they need space without specifics regarding the break, etc., I become NASA and they can contact Houston when/if they figure out what their problem is. If they take too long, they may not have a place to land.

 

Tell her you want a specific date as to when you two would come back together to discuss the issues. If she refuses, you tell her to take all the time she needs but don't count on you to be there when/if she comes back.

 

thanks redhead14

 

i would ask her but she doesnt respond to anything i have sent out. on tuesday i left a huge batch of roses on her car at her job and two very nce cards. I got to the point and said i missed her. my friends say dont press too much. She told me her parents have had breaks in there 20+ years together. I said to her we arent her parents and we are different people. If we want to use parents as examples my mom and dad had one break .....the end. I want me and her to have our own path and not following in the mistake of others.

[Redhead14]

thanks redhead14

 

i would ask her but she doesnt respond to anything i have sent out. on tuesday i left a huge batch of roses on her car at her job and two very nce cards. I got to the point and said i missed her. my friends say dont press too much. She told me her parents have had breaks in there 20+ years together. I said to her we arent her parents and we are different people. If we want to use parents as examples my mom and dad had one break .....the end. I want me and her to have our own path and not following in the mistake of others.

 

Just stop reaching out in anyway. If she notices and is concerned, she'll contact you. Otherwise, don't let her think you're sitting there waiting for her to figure out what happens with YOUR life. This affects both of you. If she cuts you out of that decision/thought process and this is actually going to be a habit, it's unhealthy and immature. Just because her parents do it on a regular basis, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do to a partner. In fact, the fact that her parents have to do it often, is a sign that their relationship is not a very good one anyway . . .

 

I think it may just be a view of what the future would be like with her if you two married. Sure, sometimes people get cold feet and back off a little, but totally cutting a partner out for an extended period of time is not cool.

 

If she's not talking to you at all, so be it. Keep moving. In fact, if you don't hear from her in a week or two, I'd start dating again. She's not giving you enough to make it worth putting your life on hold for her. Like I said, a few weeks is vague/unacceptable. If she comes back and has tantrum because you started dating, tell her she'll have to start dating you again from square one too in order for you to evaluate whether she's sincere and resolved in her decision about wanting to be with you again and willing and able to resolve issues between you like a mature adult who can think for herself.

[Alexlexus]

Just stop reaching out in anyway. If she notices and is concerned, she'll contact you. Otherwise, don't let her think you're sitting there waiting for her to figure out what happens with YOUR life. This affects both of you. If she cuts you out of that decision/thought process and this is actually going to be a habit, it's unhealthy and immature. Just because her parents do it on a regular basis, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do to a partner. In fact, the fact that her parents have to do it often, is a sign that their relationship is not a very good one anyway . . .

 

I think it may just be a view of what the future would be like with her if you two married. Sure, sometimes people get cold feet and back off a little, but totally cutting a partner out for an extended period of time is not cool.

 

If she's not talking to you at all, so be it. Keep moving. In fact, if you don't hear from her in a week or two, I'd start dating again. She's not giving you enough to make it worth putting your life on hold for her. Like I said, a few weeks is vague/unacceptable. If she comes back and has tantrum because you started dating, tell her she'll have to start dating you again from square one too in order for you to evaluate whether she's sincere and resolved in her decision about wanting to be with you again and willing and able to resolve issues between you like a mature adult who can think for herself.

 

sound advice. yeah her parents had to ake a break before they got married. it saved them but could ruin us. I would be really messed up if i lose her, but if for any reason she goes on an date with someone else while this break wasnt mutual to begin with........I will have to brace for impact.

 

I had some major problems with my ex before her who i was with for 15 years. when that ended I was under extreme stress and dealing with returning home from deployment. a battle buddy saved my life cause i was going to make a huge mistake ( and a selfish one at that.) i didnt want to live with that hurt anymore. but that made me alot tougher. from nearly ending my life over the last relationship to now this doesnt even phase me.

but my gf and I was indeed begining to enhance each other. just sad something like this has happened. part of me will have to work through resenting her if this clears up.

 

If i start dating thats it. funny thing is i know if we do break up i will have a fight on my hands over the dog.

 

i reather work this out.

[aloneinaz]

First of all, thanks for your service!

 

I'm agreeing with a lot of what Red is saying. I'm not an advocate of "breaks" in a R/S. Solid, healthy R/S's don't every have a break or break up in them. A break is a TERRIBLE sign of what's to come.

 

In the heat of a break up, we all want to try and save them. Ironically, the majority of the time the break or break up is a MAJOR warning sign of incompatibility between the two people. The fact that she's not replying to you and acting like a child is another HUGE red flag.

 

If I was in a fully commited R/S and my gal said she wanted to take a break, she'd get it. It would be a permanent one. I don't want to be with anyone who has any doubts about me, ever..

 

You need to not contact her again. Take that time to really assess that relationship with a clear head. I bet you may come to the conclusion that it's not worth dealing with any longer. I also think you should simply start dating again. Maybe you'll meet a woman who would never suggest a break and she's someone you connect with much better.

[Alexlexus]

First of all, thanks for your service!

 

I'm agreeing with a lot of what Red is saying. I'm not an advocate of "breaks" in a R/S. Solid, healthy R/S's don't every have a break or break up in them. A break is a TERRIBLE sign of what's to come.

 

In the heat of a break up, we all want to try and save them. Ironically, the majority of the time the break or break up is a MAJOR warning sign of incompatibility between the two people. The fact that she's not replying to you and acting like a child is another HUGE red flag.

 

If I was in a fully commited R/S and my gal said she wanted to take a break, she'd get it. It would be a permanent one. I don't want to be with anyone who has any doubts about me, ever..

 

You need to not contact her again. Take that time to really assess that relationship with a clear head. I bet you may come to the conclusion that it's not worth dealing with any longer. I also think you should simply start dating again. Maybe you'll meet a woman who would never suggest a break and she's someone you connect with much better.

 

 

im 36 years old now and feel like if and when this fails what am i going to do? i wasted so much time with my other ex of 15 years who refused to marry me and aborted my chance at children 3 times. this gf was my chance to be happy........i guess i was meant to be alone.

[aloneinaz]

 

im 36 years old now and feel like if and when this fails what am i going to do? i wasted so much time with my other ex of 15 years who refused to marry me and aborted my chance at children 3 times. this gf was my chance to be happy........i guess i was meant to be alone.

 

I'm sorry you're hurting my friend, I really am. I can tell you no one thinks rationally when we are in your situation. The good news is that fog will lift as time passes. You'll realize that there are MILLIONS of women out there who are looking for what you are. Don't lose sight of that.

 

There are tons of people who are starting families in their mid-to late 30's and even 40's. I was in my late 30's when I had my last child. Don't put pressure on meeting time frames.

 

No one is "meant" to be alone. You just need to heal from this last one and get back on the horse. You meet these last two and you'll meet your next one as well.

[Alexlexus]

I'm sorry you're hurting my friend, I really am. I can tell you no one thinks rationally when we are in your situation. The good news is that fog will lift as time passes. You'll realize that there are MILLIONS of women out there who are looking for what you are. Don't lose sight of that.

 

There are tons of people who are starting families in their mid-to late 30's and even 40's. I was in my late 30's when I had my last child. Don't put pressure on meeting time frames.

 

No one is "meant" to be alone. You just need to heal from this last one and get back on the horse. You meet these last two and you'll meet your next one as well.

 

thanks for the encouragement. my biggest mistake was staying in that 15yr affair as it took up all of my 20's. took me two years to heal in order to get to this one. i just fear the worst has taken me from a person i could have been with and been happy. I hope my GF or what ever she is to me now makes up her mind. ad like Redhead said im not going to be waiting forever.

[aloneinaz]

thanks for the encouragement. my biggest mistake was staying in that 15yr affair as it took up all of my 20's. took me two years to heal in order to get to this one. i just fear the worst has taken me from a person i could have been with and been happy. I hope my GF or what ever she is to me now makes up her mind. ad like Redhead said im not going to be waiting forever.

 

Don't lose sight that this decision w/this current gal is in your hands as well. There's nothing wrong if you choose to end it for good. Sometimes it's better on our ego's and self esteem vs. sitting back and letting the other party make all the decisions.

 

I just learned over the years in my relationships that if one or the other wasn't sure they wanted to continue on, it was best to simply end it. We can then heal and move forward towards finding someone we do click with and have long term potential with.

 

I've really learned that looking back after a relationship failed is a waste of time. EVERYONE contributes to a R/S not working out. No one is innocent. What matters is it didn't work out. Most people have many R/S's that fail before they find the one thats a great fit. The expression "you have to kiss many frogs to find your princess" is very true.

 

Keep your chin up. Millions of folks have felt like you do now. They got over it and went on to find the one. You just have to get out there to do it.

 

Keep posting. It does help.

[Alexlexus]

Don't lose sight that this decision w/this current gal is in your hands as well. There's nothing wrong if you choose to end it for good. Sometimes it's better on our ego's and self esteem vs. sitting back and letting the other party make all the decisions.

 

I just learned over the years in my relationships that if one or the other wasn't sure they wanted to continue on, it was best to simply end it. We can then heal and move forward towards finding someone we do click with and have long term potential with.

 

I've really learned that looking back after a relationship failed is a waste of time. EVERYONE contributes to a R/S not working out. No one is innocent. What matters is it didn't work out. Most people have many R/S's that fail before they find the one thats a great fit. The expression "you have to kiss many frogs to find your princess" is very true.

 

Keep your chin up. Millions of folks have felt like you do now. They got over it and went on to find the one. You just have to get out there to do it.

 

Keep posting. It does help.

I will keep all posted

[Alexlexus]

another angle has popped up. my family is begining to ask where has she been. I don't want to say anything to anyone right now ugh

[Alexlexus]

update:

 

she called me after a week of no contact.

 

i sent her roses to her job and left a few cards. I also sent a video of all our memories in a final type tone to it.

 

and was in the process of letting her go.

 

she called me and said she needed some time to deal with what she wants cause we do things very differnt. in my mind i am like???????????

 

ummmm ok and she vented a few frustrations i wasnt even aware of. simple things that had she kept up our communication properly I can made the fix. But i am still on this break but contact has now been established. She revealed that she had been getting avice from her girlfriends and one of those fools was telling her a break is a break no contact etc which is why she ghosted. I want to have some words with this friend!!

 

so during the NC she told me she had a casual conversation with some male from her church circles. My heart sank and as she is explaining this she told me not to be into my feelings but she was only just talking that one night.

I replied to her saying that we could have done that same thing but if when i am trying to strike a conversation about things there a few times she makes me feel like i am holding the conversation with myself.

 

in any case idk now but things are in her court as I made my efforts.....however if There is any concern I have it would be that this person had an extended conversation with her. she says in her past she would just break up with a guy in my position but due to the type of person I am she claims she doesnt want to let me go. hmmmm still not happy but she remained honest.

[careyon1]

She definitely sounds like she's gotten cold feet for some reason or another. It's unfortunate that she is not being very clear about what she's feeling and what she wants. I understand that you don't want to lose her, but you have to look at her actions and the way she communicates, now, before you go any further with the relationship. It's not just about what she wants, you have a say about what you want in a mate, in your life. She may have seen some warning signs that scared her, but I think she's putting out a few warning signs as well. I would say continue to give her her space and in the meantime evaluate what YOU want.

Edited September 11, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Alexlexus]

i guess the last entry :

 

results

 

after a week she finally spoke to me. spent a few ourhs on the beach.

alot of good points where touched on and on better terms but.........

it has for right now ended.

 

the terms of the break were fine until the thing about seeing other people.

i have no interest in having anything sexually with anyone else cause i dont need to see where i am but something she said about wanting to hang out with other people didnt sit well with me. on grounds of that i did not want to do it. after all the talk of getting married , kids, and a life together?????

 

my heart bleeding from pain to hear that. nothing hurts more to know that the one you love could potentially be kissing or hook up with someone else.

 

book has been closed. i need to heal from this. devastation.

[VeveCakes]

Im so sorry you are going through this. I am struggling myself with something similar.

 

My advice is NC....no matter what. Don't allow weeks of breadcrumbs like I have...just drags the pain out.

[springy]

I am sorry this happened to you. One thing you will be thankful for after some time has passed is that this happened before you walked down the aisle. Imagine having a wishy washy wife. There is a woman out there for you. Don't give up on your search.

[Alexlexus]

bread crumbing is really in full effect smh

[LD1990]

Sorry you're going through this. The only way you're going to be able to heal from this is if you go into real NC, meaning you block her and cut off absolutely all contact.

[Alexlexus]

things ended badly for me. i somewhat got closure but not......

 

saw a profile of hers on tinder.....smh

 

had a talk with her and came down to her being hurt that we had the marriage convo. if she waited i would have had the ring paid off. ugh

 

next she said all of the sudden she still wants to do some things before we get back together and married. she was the one picking the wedding venues and everything!!! got me all hyped up and then the sudden 180? she wants to feel like her old self before she gives up the chance to explore and be free. but she claimed to have done the wild stuff before i ever met her.

 

she said we are better terms but still on break without a defined time to reunite. so basically i got dumped? cause she said if i wasnt so good to her she would have out right broke up with me and went her way. so what am I the standby until she gets her **** right?

 

no no no done deal and after seeing the tinder profile that sealed her fate. done deal.

 

heart is in shattered and wanting to jump off a bridge but that wont solve anything. I have to endure and heal. but it hurts really bad right now.

[lolablue17]

You say it's a done deal, but few days ago you said the same thing. Did you mention you're a soldier? So you failed the mission, and the mission was to move on.

 

You have waited enough, too much if you ask me. few days ago you've come to conclusion that it's over. I advice you to stick with that decision. Man - It's over! You're so hurt so you're trying to somehow relief the pain by making up scenarios in which you're gonna be together.

 

Keep on with your mission. She may have regrets one day (Maybe after **** some guys), and want you back. Don't be tempted. If you take her back, you're starting a life in a slippery slope.

 

Man, it's not up to you, and I don't think you could have seen it coming. It's just her, and her selfishness, and immaturity.

[Alexlexus]

You say it's a done deal, but few days ago you said the same thing. Did you mention you're a soldier? So you failed the mission, and the mission was to move on.

 

You have waited enough, too much if you ask me. few days ago you've come to conclusion that it's over. I advice you to stick with that decision. Man - It's over! You're so hurt so you're trying to somehow relief the pain by making up scenarios in which you're gonna be together.

 

Keep on with your mission. She may have regrets one day (Maybe after **** some guys), and want you back. Don't be tempted. If you take her back, you're starting a life in a slippery slope.

 

Man, it's not up to you, and I don't think you could have seen it coming. It's just her, and her selfishness, and immaturity.

 

 

you are right but she came to me somewhat. and got my closure. I am hurt beyond words.

 

now the complicated part of is it the dog. i returned all her belongings but she got me the dog and i had him for now close to a year. she said to me she would like to have joint ownership of the dog cause his twin brother is with her soon to be sister in law. she hasnt seen the dog is some time now since she called for the break. the now ex is complaining she wants to spend time with the dog but he was my birthday gift. WTF!!!??

[lolablue17]

Tell her that you and the dog are the same package. When she gave up her on you, it's including the dog. "After you destroyed everything, I waited a little and tried to give you another chance to regret. You missed that chance for ever. You're not welcome any more. Bye bye, don't you ever dare to call\text\mail me and certainly don't come over".

 

If you want your pain to be easier with time, you must recognize your loss and cut all kind of communication with her. Stop answering her, and start taking care of yourself.