XNemesisX Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 I know I have been posting a lot lately. So I probably shouldn't be starting another thread but I have to get this off my chest. I think something is terribly wrong with me. I have this horrible bad feeling all the time. I feel agitated a lot and restless and I worry constantly. I think a lot to do with it is my horrible guilt about things I have been doing and somehow karma is coming back on me. The first thing is how terrible of a friend I have been to someone. This past weekend I stayed with one of her exes and then the guy with the girlfriend I had been seeing for a while was another one of her exes. I never thought I would be one to do this. I don't know if she would care or not, but I don't want to find out. She's been calling me and I can't get myself to return her calls because I feel so awful about it. She has started complaining about me to our other friends that I'm a "flake" and won't call her back. The truth is, I just feel too guilty to. Should I talk to her? Should I tell her what I have done? I can't stand this guilt. Edit: Shortened length
soccorsilly Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 I'd call her and tell her just that. You feel like **** and in a weak moment....I am assuming you are not dating this guy as that would be a different situation. You are probably right and you are more concerned than she is--it is an EX not like you stole him from her. Besides, if you admit it I think it will strengthen the friendship
Merin Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 I think it really depends on how your Friend had felt/feels about these Guys.. was it her who ended the relationships.. had they been long term deals.. that kind of thing for how she is going to feel about this. In some ways I think you may already have a good idea how she is going to feel and that is the fear now thats driving you, know what I mean? Eventually she may find out what happend.. so yeah it may be better coming from you, and like Soccor said especially if you're NOT dating this guy now or have any plans to do so.. would probably be better just to tell her what happend, that you've felt bad about it and wasn't sure how to tell her... Good Luck girly
RecordProducer Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 I think you should tell her what you just wrote here. It's not a terrible thing you've done. People do so much worse things like kill, rape, kidnap kids, abuse, steal, etc. Life is full of pain and it's good as long as it's innocent pain that doesn't leave consequences. When I started dating my ex-husband, my ex-BF was very mad at us because they were friends. But he later married another woman and has a kid with her. He would've never been happy with me and I left him before I hooked up with my e-xhusband, because I wasn't happy with the relationship. I never thought it was a bad thing he did - hooking up with his friend's ex-GF no matter how painful it was for the ex-BF (he was already in a relationship with his new gf when we told him). They never talked to each other again. I was with the BF for 6 years and he wanted to marry me. In any case, you shouldn't feel guilty, they are ex-BFs anyway. The feeling of guilt is a type of neurosis (I just read about it today). Therapy would probably help you to discover the true reasons for your emotional state.
Author XNemesisX Posted July 6, 2005 Author Posted July 6, 2005 Originally posted by Merin I think it really depends on how your Friend had felt/feels about these Guys.. was it her who ended the relationships.. had they been long term deals.. This is a tough one. The guy who has a girlfriend now dated her for 2 years They were REALLY serious. But he broke up with her, only to try to get back with her months later and then she told HIM no. The one I saw this past weekend, he also broke up with her but later tried to get back with her and she said no. They dated 9 months I think. So in both cases, they broke up with her then tried to get her back and she said no way. My friend holds grudges, you see. I know this....I have known her 4 years. So I'm deathly afraid to tell her these things because I have a feeling she will most likely never forgive me. Originally posted by RecordProducer I never thought it was a bad thing he did - hooking up with his friend's ex-GF no matter how painful it was for the ex-BF (he was already in a relationship with his new gf when we told him). They never talked to each other again. This sounds sort of similar to my situation. My friend has a new bf that she has been dating close to a year now and seems to be crazy about. So from that perspective, it shouldn't matter to her but I have a feeling it will anyway. You said they never talked to each other again and that makes my stomach hurt. I don't want my friend to never talk to me again. But maybe I should have thought about that before I hooked up with those guys... So do you all still think that I should tell her? It doesn't look like I will end up dating either one of them so should I just keep my trap shut? I would seriously hate for her to hear about it some other way...and she has had suspicions about me and the one I saw this weekend. Should I risk my friendship with her by telling her? Will it even help my guilt or just end up making me feel worse??
Recommended Posts