Virgogirl77 Posted September 6, 2016 Posted September 6, 2016 I have been dating this guy for a couple of weeks now, and we met online. We have been on four great dates, and I sense that we both like one another. He is shy, although he is more comfortable around me now. He has a busy work schedule. I get it. So he calls me once a week when he wants to see me and we send a few texts (2-3) during the week. Since I have been out of the dating scene for awhile-was wondering if this is to be expected in the beginning? And I know it varies with each individual. Don't want to scare the dude. Any thoughts?
ThisisIt606 Posted September 7, 2016 Posted September 7, 2016 YOu don't seem to be a huge priority to him right now, but it's still just the beginning. Do you know about his phone/texting habits? Some guys really aren't on their phones much/ don't really care about texting. Judge his interaction with you more from the in person time you spend together. If you want him to text and/or call more, mention that communication (when you're not hanging out) is important to you and you like hearing from him. He sounds like he could be dating a few others or just taking things slow bc he's busy with other things in his life that he finds more important (for now) 1
Author Virgogirl77 Posted September 7, 2016 Author Posted September 7, 2016 His texting habits aren't that great. When we are together we have an amazing time and there is definite chemistry! I still haven't figured out if the slow pace is because he wants to take things slow or he's dating others-or both? He admitted to me he was shy on date one and was beyond nervous. I had to kiss him on two occasions. Luckily, his anxiety has come down significantly.
ThisisIt606 Posted September 7, 2016 Posted September 7, 2016 You can bring up exclusivity but that may or may not freak him out. If you two are intimate (or want to be soon) I would recommend making sure you are sexually exclusive. Aside from that, just try to enjoy your in person time together and get to know each other. Don't fret too too far into the future. Some bigger questions like (kids, where to live etc) come out over time. For now i think just focus on the "fun", excitments of dates, laughing and getting to know eachother. If something long term is meant to come of this it will all fall into place if you enjoy the "now" moments. 1
leogirl876 Posted September 7, 2016 Posted September 7, 2016 His texting habits aren't that great. When we are together we have an amazing time and there is definite chemistry! I still haven't figured out if the slow pace is because he wants to take things slow or he's dating others-or both? He admitted to me he was shy on date one and was beyond nervous. I had to kiss him on two occasions. Luckily, his anxiety has come down significantly. IME, slow pace means they're dating other people! Keep seeing him when he asks you out, take his calls and texts, but if you're wanting to be exclusive, don't sleep with him until you have the exclusive talk. If things start getting hot & heavy, tell him you're very attracted to him and feel a lot of chemistry, but you only sleep with guys that are your boyfriends. 1
Author Virgogirl77 Posted September 7, 2016 Author Posted September 7, 2016 On our last date, he asked me to his place and I kindly declined. I made it clear that I like him and am attracted to him, but don't move so fast. We ended the date with a nice, long kiss, and we texted that weekend when I was away from town. He said that we would chat, which I assumed meant to plan the next date. I don't hear from him for a few days and text him. He tells me that he was finishing a report for work and will be away this long weekend to attend a sports event, which he had previously mentioned and booked last minute, and that we will catch up next week. Texted him this weekend to wish him good luck and he texted back immediately. (He seemed enthused about the game.) Time will tell.... I will not reach out to him. And yes-NO sex until he's my BF! :-)
leogirl876 Posted September 7, 2016 Posted September 7, 2016 On our last date, he asked me to his place and I kindly declined. I made it clear that I like him and am attracted to him, but don't move so fast. We ended the date with a nice, long kiss, and we texted that weekend when I was away from town. He said that we would chat, which I assumed meant to plan the next date. I don't hear from him for a few days and text him. He tells me that he was finishing a report for work and will be away this long weekend to attend a sports event, which he had previously mentioned and booked last minute, and that we will catch up next week. Texted him this weekend to wish him good luck and he texted back immediately. (He seemed enthused about the game.) Time will tell.... I will not reach out to him. And yes-NO sex until he's my BF! :-) Yes, I remember that post, and I suggested that you not reach out to him. Don't text him asking how he is, or how his report went. Trust me, he didn't forget about you! If a man is interested, he's going to call, he's going to pursue. If he doesn't, he's not that into you. Don't ever chase a man who's not that into you! He'll have sex with you and then ghost you! Take it from a bad learning experience I had, it doesn't work out! In the early stages of dating, it's best to sit back and see what he does. You can find out his level of interest by just being receptive to his pursuing. If he's not pursuing, he's not interested, period! There's no games or anything like that, he's not into you. So don't text or reach out to him again. He knows you're interested, you've made it known that you are. I know sometimes we women can rationalize in our heads that maybe he's shy, or maybe he doesn't know we're interested. If we reached out to him, he knows. Now it's up to him to show you that he's interested. If you don't hear from him when he gets back, there's your answer. And no matter what, don't let a man string you along. If you're not getting what you want, move on! There's plenty of men out there. You may want to join OLD, like Match or something. I've had tons of men message and call me, so if one's not stepping up to the plate how i like, there's another right around the corner who is. Good luck! 1
Author Virgogirl77 Posted September 7, 2016 Author Posted September 7, 2016 Yes, beautifully said! My good friend gave me the same exact advice. Told me NOT to sleep with him because he would ghost me. Said sleep with anyone but him since she knew how much I liked him. I will NOT reach out to him!! I refuse to pursue a man-no matter how attracted I am to him. Thank you again for the advice. 1
leogirl876 Posted September 7, 2016 Posted September 7, 2016 Yes, beautifully said! My good friend gave me the same exact advice. Told me NOT to sleep with him because he would ghost me. Said sleep with anyone but him since she knew how much I liked him. I will NOT reach out to him!! I refuse to pursue a man-no matter how attracted I am to him. Thank you again for the advice. Anytime! That's what we're here for! Keep me posted on what happens! 1
Author Virgogirl77 Posted September 7, 2016 Author Posted September 7, 2016 Yes, I remember you told me not to reach out to him. This dude is a loose cannon. He may reach out this week or next or never??? I see things clearly now, and so I have the upper hand! Keep you posted! :-)
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