louisebunny Posted September 6, 2016 Posted September 6, 2016 Hi all. this is my first post here. I have been dating a guy for 2 and a half months but I am starting to get mixed signals. A few things are bothering me. We used to see each other about twice a week, which then went down to once a week. When we see each other now its just going round each others houses, we dont go out anywhere anymore unless its with friends. He doesn't often text me first. I noticed this a while ago so I thought I would leave it up to him to start the conversations first and we didnt speak for about 3 days. Also when we do actually text he takes hours to reply and after a while he will stop replying. Whenever I am with him though if someone texts him he will reply back straight away. why wouldnt he do this for me? He's also not very affectionate. I can't remember the last time he complimented me or when he last said something sweet to me. When we talk its like i am just talking to one of my friends. He also said something the other day that made no sense to me at all. He told me that he doesn't care if he makes other people happy or not and that he does not feel sorry for people when they are sad. To me, this is really weird as I love seeing people happy and hate seeing people sad. I don't know if i am just over thinking things. What do you all think of it? Do you think it sounds as if he's just not that into me?
Author louisebunny Posted September 7, 2016 Author Posted September 7, 2016 Opinions anyone? it's driving me mad!
leogirl876 Posted September 7, 2016 Posted September 7, 2016 Hi all. this is my first post here. I have been dating a guy for 2 and a half months but I am starting to get mixed signals. A few things are bothering me. We used to see each other about twice a week, which then went down to once a week. When we see each other now its just going round each others houses, we dont go out anywhere anymore unless its with friends. He doesn't often text me first. I noticed this a while ago so I thought I would leave it up to him to start the conversations first and we didnt speak for about 3 days. Also when we do actually text he takes hours to reply and after a while he will stop replying. Whenever I am with him though if someone texts him he will reply back straight away. why wouldnt he do this for me? He's also not very affectionate. I can't remember the last time he complimented me or when he last said something sweet to me. When we talk its like i am just talking to one of my friends. He also said something the other day that made no sense to me at all. He told me that he doesn't care if he makes other people happy or not and that he does not feel sorry for people when they are sad. To me, this is really weird as I love seeing people happy and hate seeing people sad. I don't know if i am just over thinking things. What do you all think of it? Do you think it sounds as if he's just not that into me? It's hard to say for sure, but sounds like he's not that into you, or he's moved into the comfort zone of dating you and doesn't care to try anymore. 1
Redhead14 Posted September 7, 2016 Posted September 7, 2016 Hi all. this is my first post here. I have been dating a guy for 2 and a half months but I am starting to get mixed signals. A few things are bothering me. We used to see each other about twice a week, which then went down to once a week. When we see each other now its just going round each others houses, we dont go out anywhere anymore unless its with friends. He doesn't often text me first. I noticed this a while ago so I thought I would leave it up to him to start the conversations first and we didnt speak for about 3 days. Also when we do actually text he takes hours to reply and after a while he will stop replying. Whenever I am with him though if someone texts him he will reply back straight away. why wouldnt he do this for me? He's also not very affectionate. I can't remember the last time he complimented me or when he last said something sweet to me. When we talk its like i am just talking to one of my friends. He also said something the other day that made no sense to me at all. He told me that he doesn't care if he makes other people happy or not and that he does not feel sorry for people when they are sad. To me, this is really weird as I love seeing people happy and hate seeing people sad. I don't know if i am just over thinking things. What do you all think of it? Do you think it sounds as if he's just not that into me? He definitely isn't very into you and your senses are telling you that. Trust your gut. On top of that, the statement regarding whether other people are happy or not is a huge flag to me. That is about a lack of ability to empathize which is also a sign of a narcissist. Bottom line, ditch this guy . . . 4
smackie9 Posted September 7, 2016 Posted September 7, 2016 If it's bad, end it. There is nothing else you can do or say to him. His lack of actions speaks mighty volumes......ditch the guy. 4
Gaeta Posted September 7, 2016 Posted September 7, 2016 After 2 months dating you 2 should be in full blown honeymoon phase. This man isn't interested in developing a relationship with you, he is simply killing time when it's convenient to him. 4
Scarlett.O'hara Posted September 7, 2016 Posted September 7, 2016 This relationship sounds like a complete waste of your time and energy. Why settle for something so mediocre when you could be having more positive experiences with someone else? It's up to you, but I wouldn't waste another second dating such a cold individual. 4
Author louisebunny Posted September 8, 2016 Author Posted September 8, 2016 Thank you for your replies everyone! I do have a gut feeling that he doesn't have strong feelings for me and my gut feelings have always been right. I don't know how to act on it though, i'm considering just playing him at his own game and just ignoring him. I can't see him being too bothered about it really. We have mutual friends and I asked one of my close pals what she thought on it, she agreed that it was weird but said that apparently he's very independent. Apparently his ex was a bit of a psycho and was very very possessive with him and wouldn't allow him to do simple things so maybe this is why he is distant, which i sort of understand why he would be cautious, but this was a few years ago and i am NOTHING like this ex of his and i do not think i should be punished just because she's a bit crazy.
busybee1119 Posted September 8, 2016 Posted September 8, 2016 Take it from me and all the other posters...lose him sooner then later. Even if you play him at his own game will consume energy you don't have on him. I was in the same boat two weeks ago. I made a choice and sent him a polite but direct text (since he really didn't care to want to talk to me on the phone. I wished him well and never looked back. It sounds like he is an avoidance attachment..."Attached" by Amir Levine- great book btw) Onward and upward I always say 2
Author louisebunny Posted September 14, 2016 Author Posted September 14, 2016 Well I decided to give him one last chance...we were meant to meet up the other day but he cancelled last minute because he felt "weird" I felt fed up so I had a go at him and have not heard a peep from him since....this says everything to me. Pretty angry right now
katiegrl Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 Opinions anyone? it's driving me mad! Slow fade. NEXT! 1
katiegrl Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 i'm considering just playing him at his own game and just ignoring him. I fully support you in that endeavor. Block and delete him while you're at it. I can't see myself being too bothered about it really. ^^Fixed it for ya. 3
hippychick3 Posted September 14, 2016 Posted September 14, 2016 From what you described, I'm not sure why you would even want to continue dating him. He was offering you NOTHING. Don't you think you deserve better? Try not to give this guy any more of your heart or energy and move on to someone who treats you better. When you're dating men, don't forget that YOU are in evaluation mode and should be observing how they treat you and others to determine if they are worth a relationship. This guy clearly was not. 1
Redhead14 Posted September 15, 2016 Posted September 15, 2016 Thank you for your replies everyone! I do have a gut feeling that he doesn't have strong feelings for me and my gut feelings have always been right. I don't know how to act on it though, i'm considering just playing him at his own game and just ignoring him. I can't see him being too bothered about it really. We have mutual friends and I asked one of my close pals what she thought on it, she agreed that it was weird but said that apparently he's very independent. Apparently his ex was a bit of a psycho and was very very possessive with him and wouldn't allow him to do simple things so maybe this is why he is distant, which i sort of understand why he would be cautious, but this was a few years ago and i am NOTHING like this ex of his and i do not think i should be punished just because she's a bit crazy. Apparently his ex was a bit of a psycho and was very very possessive with him and wouldn't allow him to do simple things so maybe this is why he is distant -- I'd say that she wasn't a psycho, she was seeing/experiencing basically the same things you are and she likely pushed him some, got clingy, insecure, etc., which in turn turned her into a "crazy ex" . . .
stillafool Posted September 15, 2016 Posted September 15, 2016 This guy has definitely lost interest and is making it known. I wouldn't contact him again if I were you because he's doing the slow fade out.
angel.eyes Posted September 15, 2016 Posted September 15, 2016 Pretty much. Slow fade. Eventually you get the message and stop contacting him, or you'll get exasperated ("psycho" ex picked that approach) and break it off. Either way, he's done and left the building a while ago. You're wasting your time and energy. So...DELETE, BLOCK, NEXT! 3
Author louisebunny Posted September 15, 2016 Author Posted September 15, 2016 Apparently his ex was a bit of a psycho and was very very possessive with him and wouldn't allow him to do simple things so maybe this is why he is distant -- I'd say that she wasn't a psycho, she was seeing/experiencing basically the same things you are and she likely pushed him some, got clingy, insecure, etc., which in turn turned her into a "crazy ex" . . . That's exactly what I thought! But I asked one of my pals who knew another one of this girls ex's and apparently she is like that and has a bit of a reputation for being crazy when it comes to boyfriends, so it is true apparently
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