Thinking About Ending 11-Year Friendship * Had to repost because I deleted my story

[ThatGuy1313]

So , to make a long story short , I've been friend's with this girl for a over a decade , so as you can see we've pretty much been lifelong friends . I've know the girl since I was still pissing in the bed .About three years ago--October 2013 to be exact--I began to become romantically interested in her but more physically then romantic though. Anyways, I didn't let the fact the she was currently interested in another guy at the time stop me from telling her how I felt about her. And of course , as you can imagine, she didn't feel the same way for obvious reasons : Her seeing me as just a best friend , and nothing more since we had been friends for such a long time at this point--and for the simple fact that she obviously had feelings for someone else . And of course when she kindly rejected me I backed off and just kept living life even though I was bummed out about the whole thing. But fast forward almost three years ter exactly , I still feel the same way about her , but the way she's been acting as of late as been turning me of .

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As a good friend of hers--and I really hate saying that , lol-- I can honestly say the she has a big heart , she's very kind and caring. But with that said , one of the other hand , she is very emotionally needy and selfish.Every time she gets into an argument with her friend , she comes running to me out of nowhere and wants to have super , long discussion and she doesn't really seem to care that she's on my time . Nonetheless , time after time , I hold back what I really want to say to her and proceed to give her the advice and comfort she needs . But now I'm slowly starting get fed up with her , because quite frankly , I don't want to be her friend . I want to either be FWB's or her boyfriend, but I would prefer the former , personally . I am 21 years old and the closet thing I've gotten to sex is spooning and making out . Help , please ! Thanks.

Edited September 6, 2016 by ThatGuy1313

[Tidal30]

I hate to say this, but you've been friendzoned. This friend confides in you and views you as a brother figure. Especially considering she turned you down, but despite that still comes running to your for advice.

 

Personally, I think if you push FWB or trying to get into a relationship with her, it will damage your friendship forever. Its obviously up to you if you decide you want to continue being a best platonic friend short term or just break ties all together.

 

If you want to stay friends with her, then you've got to at least point out that while you care about her and are there for her to offer advice/support, it just can't be one sided like this all the time. That's not healthy at all in a friendship.

 

There are huge benefits to having a close platonic female friend. If we just stick with dating, she can give you great advice with and she can even help introducing you to her other single friends. In my experience, that has been excellent.

 

I am 30, and I was in a very similar situation in my early 20s with I girl I had feelings for and knew forever but she just saw me as a best friend and nothing else. Its hard to get over it, but really the faster you do, the better off you'll feel. I wasted almost my whole sophmore year in college playing this game with this friend, before I wised up.

 

My advice is simple.....better yourself. Focus on bettering yourself, focus less on this best female friend. And I can't tell you if you are having difficulty now at 21 with dating, how important this is.

 

What happened with me, I eventually just got upset that this best friend didn't value me the way I valued her. It was selfish, but it got me working out more, it got me going out with friends more, it got me working harder in course work and it also got me bolder and more confident with woman at that time. It was not too long before I met someone I clicked with and basically forgot about my romantic feelings for her. I would benefit years later from staying in touch and close with this female friend as she helped pick up the pieces with me when I hit a bad break up with that relationship and introduced me to a single friend that I would start dating months after.

 

Hope any of this helps, I've been there, so figured I'd take the time to maybe help after seeing your post.