Brando442 Posted September 6, 2016 Posted September 6, 2016 (edited) Today my girlfriend of one year broke up with me, it was my first serious relationship, first time for everything happened in this relationship. i'm 23 Its my fault I suffer from a lot of anxiety and depression and the past year I kept getting anxious for example I was cheated on in a past relationship because my ex got drunk etc, So if she goes out or has a drink I ask a lot if shes going to do this or that. Also she sex didn't happen much as she wasn't in the mood she was going to get her hormones checked out and when it didn't happen after awhile it would frustrate me and we'd argue. and its taken its toll on her and today she said she was exhausted and couldn't do it anymore, I've improved heaps within the last year with my therapist but she can't do it anymore she said. I'm absolutely devastated because i don t think i'll ever find anyone again, or anyone as good as her and who put up with me for so long. It hurts most that there was no signs and that its my fault Edited September 6, 2016 by Brando442
Toodaloo Posted September 6, 2016 Posted September 6, 2016 You carry on talking to your therapist... You still have issues there that probably lead to this. They are not going to go away overnight. Don't worry about it. You are still young so you have plenty of time. Your main issue should be sorting out this anxiety problem. For what its worth those of us with out issues normally go to our rooms, sob and cry like babies for a bit. then we dry our eyes and wash the snot off of our faces and take each day as it comes. It hurts for a while but gets better.
aloneinaz Posted September 6, 2016 Posted September 6, 2016 I'm absolutely devastated because i don t think i'll ever find anyone again, or anyone as good as her and who put up with me for so long. It hurts most that there was no signs and that its my fault First of all, this is faulty, broken thinking at it's best here. You met her and you'll meet her replacement. EVERYONE can think that "they'll never meet anyone like this ex nor will the be as good as her".. Simply hogwash thinking. You should be familiar with this phase. You're doing a spectacular example of catastrophizing here! You're taking all the blame for her leaving. We don't know who owns what percent in the failure of that R/S. You also said she had her issues w/lack of interest in sex and I'm sure other issues as well. You need to keep working on yourself. Anxiety sucks but most people get it under control and figure it out. They then move on with their lives feeling better. Don't beat yourself up so much. Both parties contribute to the failure of a R/S. You're both young and R/S's at the age usually flame out around a year. Kids your age need to have lots of relationship experience with different people before getting older and thinking about marriage. Stick around this site, read the many threads on here each day. Post as you need to. You'll be fine. EVERYONE has been where you are, navigated through it and came out fine.
snowangel97 Posted September 6, 2016 Posted September 6, 2016 I'm sorry you're going through this, but am very glad that you already have a therapist to chat with about it. Anxiety and depression are not something to mess with and ending a relationship can be an added stressor. Please keep talking to them! Have you and she had a serious talk about where you think this relationship should go? Expectations of each person in the relationship? If you want this to continue, do you think your GF would be open to couples counseling? Maybe the two of you speaking with someone could open up the lines of communication better and you could find some common ground. What do you think?
Author Brando442 Posted September 6, 2016 Author Posted September 6, 2016 Thank you so much for this, I woke up this morning and I'm thinking clearer I've started to see a lot of our differences now, for example she told me not too long ago she never wanted to get married and that's something I wanted in life.
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