findALnow Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 **Kind of a long post warning - contains a few questions** Hello. Wondering if you can all help with this, share some ideas. I've been with my sweet g/f for a few months now, and for most of it we seen each other almost every night for a few hours (we don't live together). We've gotten into some deep conversations and both have lots on our plate as far as learning from the past and emotional stuff, etc. Some people say every night=too much, but I still keep time for my friends on a weekend night, like a Friday night or what not and in between. I don't have a problem with it, she doesn't at all (seems like what she's used to). Anyway, I'm wondering. I worry (I think too much in general) about changing the pattern because seh's insecure (and dumb me, I am too, worried about losing someone I love, she is also worried about that)... So If I want to spend time with the guys, I tell her about it cause the pattern we have both settled on is "yeah we're gonna be doing whatever together, unless I (me) have something to do"... so sometimes I'll spend time and then leave later to a friend. Not really often. Sometimes. I can see how that seems like I'm just using her to bridge the gap. I don't see it that way, I want to see her for a bit. She has never really grilled me on it - but sometimes she keeps things back. In general, do you think its better just not going over at all and instead, "see you tomorrow" if I'm not gonna be with her all night? She's basically said "do what you want", but I know at the same time she worries. Should I just do what I do, let her know in advance "I'll see you, later on in the night my friend is around I'm gonna go out with them to catch up" (this doesn't happen all the time, I spend full nights with her too). If she's uncomfortable at first, just assure her when I can to not worry (she will) and let her "get used to it" by just doing it? To the girls especially, does this seem reasonable from your perspective? I think it is but sometimes I don't pick up on crap, so I ask. What would YOU rather? Is it best to just do it and not make a big deal, bring something up saying "do you feel about it this way?" to make sure. Don't want to make a big deal out of nothing, you know? Sometimes it's better to just "do". Ideas anyone?
laRubiaBonita Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 why not just stop seeing her for 5 whole days in a row? call her and what not, but no "real" contact. see how that goes, or start with 2-3 days. being missed and missing someone is a good rekindler.
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