anonymousbear00101100 Posted September 6, 2016 Posted September 6, 2016 I met this girl at a party two weeks ago after we moved back to school. Since then, we have spent the night together 10ish times, and haven't gone more than a night without sleeping in the same bed. We cuddle, do homework together, eat dinner, etc. It's been really great and I've definitely started to catch feelings. However, the last few days or so she hasn't really been replying to my texts. For example yesterday we talked for a little while, then she stopped responding. Five or so hours later she messaged me back and wanted to watch a movie and for me to spend the night. After I left this morning, I didn't message her for seven or so hours to give her some space. We had maybe five back-and-forths before she stopped replying mid conversation. This is strange as just last week she was replying every minute and we had constant communication throughout the day. Is it possible she just wants someone sleep with at night and she's just using me? Or is she just playing games?
leogirl876 Posted September 6, 2016 Posted September 6, 2016 Maybe she's feeling smothered and needs some space. Give her plenty of space and see what happens, either way, you have your answer.
smudge21 Posted September 6, 2016 Posted September 6, 2016 It's only been two weeks so right now it's just all fun and feeling each other out, so to speak. People can change, lose interest, have other things on... the fact is you really don't know her that well so just see how things go. React in kind - so don't smother her in contact but instead follow her lead. Maybe she's expecting you to step things up and make it more serious by now or maybe she doesn't want to be serious and realises you are. Basically only she knows and only you can find out. 1
Toodaloo Posted September 6, 2016 Posted September 6, 2016 Speak to her. It could well be that its just the sex and company she wants. Who knows. You are at that age when relationships tend to be short anyway so don't fret about it just get on with life. 1
Author anonymousbear00101100 Posted September 6, 2016 Author Posted September 6, 2016 It's only been two weeks so right now it's just all fun and feeling each other out, so to speak. People can change, lose interest, have other things on... the fact is you really don't know her that well so just see how things go. React in kind - so don't smother her in contact but instead follow her lead. Maybe she's expecting you to step things up and make it more serious by now or maybe she doesn't want to be serious and realises you are. Basically only she knows and only you can find out. When similar things have happened in the past, I've always ended up smothering them. I've really tried not doing that this time by only responding when she responds and not bombarding her with questions and messages. This is just hard since really everything is out of my hands and I have no idea what she is thinking. I really had been wanting to bring up making things a bit more serious to her this week too, but now it seems a bit out of place. I guess I'll see if she messages me first today, and how long that conversation lasts.
Author anonymousbear00101100 Posted September 6, 2016 Author Posted September 6, 2016 Speak to her. It could well be that its just the sex and company she wants. Who knows. You are at that age when relationships tend to be short anyway so don't fret about it just get on with life. This is a good point I guess. After a bunch of failed flings last year, I came into this year hoping to keep everything as short lived as possible, only doing hookups and never spending the night to cuddle. But low and behold the first girl that walks into my life I catch feelings for. I guess I just need to change my mindset.
jellybean824 Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 You may have already answered your own question. It does seem unusual that she would show definite interest and then suddenly pull away. However, she may have realized that she doesn't want this relationship to go further. The only way for you to know this is to talk with her directly. She may still give you the run around, but in order for this relationship to continue, there has to be mutual trust and respect. Trust your gut. If you feel this is all fun and games, then let her know that is not why you are in the relationship. You can then both decide to part ways or makes some much-needed changes.
BaileyB Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 That is moving really fast... I would guess that she is a little overwhelmed and it was just too much, too soon. But, you will really only know by asking her.
Kamille Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 She's not really pulling away though. You guys still communicate every day and it sounds like you guys make plans to do things together most evenings. Talk to her but also, try to manage your anxieties about this. You seem to be over-thinking this. Go to the gym, talk to other friends about their lives. Find balance.
joseb Posted September 12, 2016 Posted September 12, 2016 OP if you want to take things slow then don't basically move in with someone the first day you meet them! I feel smothered just reading your description to be honest. Give her some space and keep other interests like friends and your studies (!) in your head, rather than becoming besotted with this one.
Recommended Posts