ReluctantRomeo Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme Hmmmmmm. How many of these 'born-again bastards' are married????????????? Sshhhhhh, don't spoil the fun - it's always entertaining to see Pee-Wee try to dress himself up as James Dean
Woggle Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 The most important thing with women is respect. If she doesn't respect you it is over. When a man is a doormat she doesn't respect him and that is why nice guys get walked on.
moimeme Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 And for the 5437856433279456366868th time, there is a HUGE difference between a 'nice guy' and a doormat. I protest this reprehensible abuse of language. Nowhere in the definition of 'nice' is there any nuance of 'obsequious' or 'self-abnegating' and therefore to use the word 'nice' in this context is false and misleading. If one is going to be picky about grammar and spelling, one ought to be at least equally picky about the proper use of language.
outdated Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 awwwwwwwwwwwwhmmmmmmmmm Sorry, that's me yawning at another nice guy post.
morrigan Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 Originally posted by outdated awwwwwwwwwwwwhmmmmmmmmm Sorry, that's me yawning at another nice guy post.
J dub Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 I was attracted to my bf from the start because he leans against walls while waiting for someone/something, james dean-style. Its very hot. But his attitude wasnt very a$$holish to begin with. Unfortunately I took advantage of his niceness and now I am dealing with the ramifications of those actions :doh: Doormats = whiney Nice guys = opinionated
alphamale Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme And for the 5437856433279456366868th time, there is a HUGE difference between a 'nice guy' and a doormat. I protest this reprehensible abuse of language. I believe it is the females of the species that prefer the terminology of "nice guy". I hear women say all the time, "he is SUCH a nice guy". I never hear women say "he is such a doormat loser who loves to be take advantage of...". Women have coined the terminology, not men.
lvgrl Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 No, thats not true, because guys classisfy themselfs as "nice guys" hints the reason of this thread, he said that he was sick of being a nice guy..SO, those nice guys who claim to be nice guys are the ones who also claim they get walked all over. Not all nice guys get walked on, the ones who are nice but who can stand up for themselfs are the ones who get the girls.. The nice ones who let women run his life are the ones who are crying cause they are single.
moimeme Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 I hear women say all the time, "he is SUCH a nice guy". That's a compliment I'm guessing that if someone's speaking of a negative trait, she'll say 'he's too nice' because saying 'he's a doormat' sounds mean. Doesn't mean she means 'nice' as in 'nice'. It's called euphemism. It's like 'we just don't have chemistry' is more likely to mean 'I'd not marry you in a million years, you wierdo'. We don't say what we really mean, but here in written discussion with no particular individuals being spoken of, we should call spades spades. I also disagree that it's women who started this. It's bitter men who allowed themselves to be treated very badly and, rather than saying 'I'm a doormat' will obviously call themselves 'nice guys' - 'nice' in this case meaning 'never speaking up with a dissenting opinion, never expressing my own wishes, suppressing all of my own personality to kowtow to her'. But we do nobody any favours by allowing a man like that to call himself 'nice'. He needs to acknowledge that he wasn't 'nice' at all, but rather self-abnegatig and that it would be a step up to become genuinely 'nice'.
J dub Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 Originally posted by lvgrl No, thats not true, because guys classisfy themselfs as "nice guys" hints the reason of this thread, he said that he was sick of being a nice guy..SO, those nice guys who claim to be nice guys are the ones who also claim they get walked all over. Not all nice guys get walked on, the ones who are nice but who can stand up for themselfs are the ones who get the girls.. The nice ones who let women run his life are the ones who are crying cause they are single. I believe the term you may have been looking for is "spineless"
alphamale Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme It's bitter men who allowed themselves to be treated very badly Ahhh...but WHO was doing the bad treating? the women in their lives.... That is like saying the jews in WWII allowed themselves to be exterminated by the nazis.
moimeme Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 Ahhh...but WHO was doing the bad treating? the women in their lives.... I'm not saying there aren't unpleasant women. But it's the man's fault for staying. And, AM, tell the truth. These guys stay with these women often because they consider the women hot. They give up their dignity to get sex. Whose fault is that? That is like saying the jews in WWII allowed themselves to be exterminated by the nazis. No it's not even close. Just to explain, since you seem to have trouble comprehending the concept, women aren't holding guns, murdering entire families to blackmail people, and herding men into gas chambers. Talk about taking hyperbole into just plain stupidity.
lvgrl Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 Ok, a woman lands a million bucks, sure chances are good she is going to become greedy and a tad selfish, its the same with a damn "nice" guy... A woman gets ahold of a great guy, he gets/gives/buys whatever it is she wants, over time she is grown accustom to this, so when the gifts stop and he wants to know why she doesnt seem into him..THE ANSWER IS CLEAR, HE LET HER WALK ALL OVER HIM. Yeah, shes wrong for doing it, but it doesnt look like to me anyone is stopping her. IF guys had such a problem with it, I think a stop would be made to it, but somehow guys like the fact that they get to play the pitty card and want people to feel sorry for them because they got hurt.. Well sorry fellas..We get hurt just as much if not more than you do, Women get emotionally attached, men however get physically attached. This will be a topic that will never be closed. Men and Women cant see eye to eye on it. And I see why.. haha you get it, I said they cant see eye to eye on it, but I see why..hahah oh man.. Ok, anyway..thats my thought on it.
lost_in_chgo Posted July 7, 2005 Posted July 7, 2005 Originally posted by lvgrl Well sorry fellas..We get hurt just as much if not more than you do, Women get emotionally attached, men however get physically attached. Kinda sad that you believe that. Maybe you've been taken advantage of too often. I think it's more that guys aren't used to dealing with or accessing their emotional side the way women are and as a result they bury or reject their emotions and spin off onto someone else as soon as possible.
Enema Posted July 7, 2005 Posted July 7, 2005 You have to stop trying, almost stop "caring" in a certain way. Just be yourself... girls come and go.. the one that is right for you will stay, will gel with you and will not take any effort to make work. Do you really want to be acting for the rest of your life just to keep a girl you think you want?
lvgrl Posted July 7, 2005 Posted July 7, 2005 Originally posted by lost_in_chgo Kinda sad that you believe that. Maybe you've been taken advantage of too often. I think it's more that guys aren't used to dealing with or accessing their emotional side the way women are and as a result they bury or reject their emotions and spin off onto someone else as soon as possible. Um ok...well it looks like the same thing you said, that I had stated before and you told me its sad that I beleive that...? Most women get attached faster then men, because men want to play the field, or not get tied down, or just whatever so they are less to become emotionally attached, more to become physically attached (as in sex)
AndrewJ Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 "Most women get attached faster then men, because men want to play the field, or not get tied down, or just whatever so they are less to become emotionally attached, more to become physically attached (as in sex)" I dont beleive that is universally correct. I have met women who are like that
TUDOR Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 How's about being a Nad Guy......little bit of Nice and Bad! I love how people think they can just try on new personalities like they are shoes or something. You are what are man, learn how to work with it.
alphamale Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by TUDOR I love how people think they can just try on new personalities like they are shoes or something. You are what are man, learn how to work with it. Thats only partially true TUDOR....people do change as time goes on and they get experience and feel more comfortable in their own skins. In high school I used to be pretty shy and quiet. Now i can still be shy but I can also be the life of the party and be very outgoing when in the mood. Some people (not all) can modify themselves and their behaviours over time... just my .02
TUDOR Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Thats only partially true TUDOR....people do change as time goes on and they get experience and feel more comfortable in their own skins. In high school I used to be pretty shy and quiet. Now i can still be shy but I can also be the life of the party and be very outgoing when in the mood. Some people (not all) can modify themselves and their behaviors over time... just my .02 You shy? I agree with that train of thought. People do change, but I don't think it is always forced or that they can just become a different person because they want to. Events in life change all of us but I could no more turn into a shy guy then I think this guy can turn into a a**h*** and play the part. You can look it but being it is a different story.
Swamp Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 You want to be James Bond. Possess all the GOOD qualities of a NICE GUY: reliability, positive attitude, smile, sense of humor, endearing, warm, reassuring AND Possess all the GOOD qualities of a JERK: unpredictability, aloofness, independence, opinion, contradictory It's such a 50/50 thing on each side. Half of you should be completely into the girl. Half of you should be completely uninterested in the girl. Don't borrow money. Don't shower her with gifts. Crave her. Be thirsty for her. Absolutely desire her. Don't ever, ever, ever need her. Be great with her. Be great without her. Do show how much you are into her. Don't ever say how much you are into her. Women unhappily break up with nice guys. Women unhappily stay with jerks. It's the guy's fault too. Guys need to master the balance that is required to keep a girl sprung on them. You gotta learn how to mix both sides of it, to be a very effective, and desirable player in the dating game. Be a nice guy at the perfect time, and be a jerk at the perfect time.
alphamale Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by Swamp It's the guy's fault too. Guys need to master the balance that is required to keep a girl sprung on them. You gotta learn how to mix both sides of it, to be a very effective, and desirable player in the dating game. Be a nice guy at the perfect time, and be a jerk at the perfect time. superb post SWAMP....could not have said it better myself. I have been preaching this exact thing for past 8 months on LS
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