expos Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Nice Guys... - Don't get the girls they want - Never get the respect in long run - get there heart broken every single time I'm done being a nice, repectable, reliable, caring person. I'm becoming an a**h*** this year. End of message.
lvgrl Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 ok..if I have to say this one more damn time after this post im going to scream. GUYS------ GIRLS DONT LIKE THE a**h***S, WE JUST DONT. the only reason that girls end up with the jerks is because they give us a challenge, they make us want them..Its kind of like the bad boy thing, there is just something about it that drives us crazy.. I have had my fair share of a**h***s and I am SO done with them. Dont stop being a nice guy, just change the game a little bit. Dont get walked on, dont get mistreated, you can be a nice guy and still have an opinion. Just let her know from the start that yeah you maybe a nice guy, but you dont stand for crap either..dont set yourself up for a fall, thats what most nice guys do. They get into a relationship and then their entire world is now devoted to the girl from the start..DONT show her everything you have to offer from the start. That is just asking for a heartache.. And as far as you not getting the girls you want...OK, well im sure that people who are nice, rude, fat, short, tall, skinny, whatever have had times where they never get the person they want. That has nothing to do with being nice, thats just life.. And as far as respect in the long run..I know for a fact that out of all the guys that I have ever dated or been with while im with the a**h*** or even after its over..I think back of that one nice guy that was always there and how I wished I had that back.. You may not see the respect part outright, but I promise you..Its there Everyone gets their heart broken, thats life as well..But you cant let it get the best of you just shutup and learn from it. Thats all you can do.. Speaking from someone who cant stand the a**h***s im asking you to not do that to yourself or anyone else..
alphamale Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by lvgrl GUYS------ GIRLS DONT LIKE THE a**h***S, WE JUST DONT. the only reason that girls end up with the jerks is because they give us a challenge, they make us want them..Its kind of like the bad boy thing, there is just something about it that drives us crazy..
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Nice girls like nice guys. The key is to be nice without being a doormat or losing your identity within the relationship.
Author expos Posted July 5, 2005 Author Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by lvgrl the only reason that girls end up with the jerks is because they give us a challenge, they make us want them..Its kind of like the bad boy thing, there is just something about it that drives us crazy.. You just pinned yourself with that response.
lvgrl Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 and how did I do that? From stating things that I have seen or been through? Not even close buddy.. Nice guys can do that too, they can make a girl want them. Its not just the jerks that are able to do that...
lindya Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by expos I'm becoming an a**h*** this year. Good luck with that. You might want to read some of the threads in the sexual health section. Ass-hole shafting is a popular activity.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Alpha, why is that? Because I'm only stating that most women want the same thing that men want. A nice partner who won't become dependent or clingy.
morrigan Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 'm done being a nice, repectable, reliable, caring person. I'm becoming an a**h*** this year. You have a deadline? When does A-Day begin? the only reason that girls end up with the jerks is because they give us a challenge, they make us want them..Its kind of like the bad boy thing, there is just something about it that drives us crazy.. Some girls/guys read "bad boy/girl" as "challenge/ego boost I can tame." Then they learn the hard way and wisen up about the loser. There's only so many emotional leaky diapers a person is willing to put up with. I like normal guys.
alphamale Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken Alpha, why is that? Because I'm only stating that most women want the same thing that men want. A nice partner who won't become dependent or clingy. it is usually the not-so-nice partners who do not become dependent or clingy....
XNemesisX Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale it is usually the not-so-nice partners who do not become dependent or clingy.... For real.
lvgrl Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 thats because they think it doesnt fit their style..its not about nice guys vs a**h***s.. Its about people who are unwilling to change, and sometimes when people decide they want to change they loose sight of who they are or what they are about.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale it is usually the not-so-nice partners who do not become dependent or clingy.... I would agree with that in some cases. However, there is a big difference between someone who is emotionally ready to commit to a relationship, and someone who is clingy because they don't have enough self-worth to feel okay unless they are in a relationship.
Opium Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 ALL WOMAN AND MEN WANT TO BE TREATED WITH LOVE AND WE ALL WANT THE SAME THING, TO BE HAPPY! Just because you had one bump on the road with what you're going through, don't let the next girl get all the heat for another womans mistakes. We're all human and make mistakes but SOME make mistakes and learn from them and SOME don't. You don't have to stop being nice, just be more aggressive with woman and let anything that bothers you come out. If you keep things bottled up it never turns out good. You can't change your whole life because of one girl, even though here on LS people tend to stereotype and some think ALL woman love to be treated like shyt and ALL men just want pvssy, which isn't true. Do what makes you happy and don't change for no one. No one's worth all the energy it takes to start a new life, and why try to be something you're not. Eventually some nice girl will appreciate you for who you are.
Marshbear Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 Originally posted by expos Nice Guys... - Don't get the girls they want - Never get the respect in long run - get there heart broken every single time I'm done being a nice, respectable, reliable, caring person. I'm becoming an a**h*** this year. End of message. Women always say they want a nice guy but when confronted with one they walk all over him and make him turn into a jerk. What women say and who they date are two different things. if you read all these posts you will get the opinion that they really don't want a guy who is caring, respectable, loyal, aka a boyscout, by all the problems they post about the guys they date. If these guys were all the things they say they want nice guys should be a hot commodity. Even married women who are married to nice guys call then their best friend whom they love but are not in-love with. Women like that bit of rogue and scoundrel in the men they date. If you remember the first star wars movie, princess Leia( spelling ) didn't want Luke but she wanted the scoundrel. As Ivgrl said they want a challenge. Nice guys tend to be doormats who do the biding of women instead of being the leader. Women want a leader. Most nice guys tend to have self esteem problems and they become friends with women instead of b/f's. They get pissed and then try to turn into a jerk ( as sxpos ). You need to learn to be yourself and not be intimidated by women ( as most nice guys do ). Once you learn that balance of being nice but also a leader and and confident you will have women out the a$$. You need to learn to have women chase you and let them think you don't really want them and then you become irresistible. Peace...
BrotherAaron Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 The symantics of this debate drive me crazy, as does the repetive nature of it. First off, many guys are getting confused by the terminology "nice guy". Words influence thoughts, and this particular naming of a guy encourages guys to be a**h***s. What is so "nice" about a guy who - Doesn't get the girl he wants - Never gets respect in the long run - Gets his heart broken every tim This guy sounds like he has issues. What it really comes down to is a lack of self-confidence and a low sense of self worth. He's only seems nice because he feels like he has no choice, and he wants people to like him. He'll still mutter about what an a**h*** so-and-so is under his breath, or to his best friend later. Girls reject him because he expects them to and he allows them the power of determining his value. If they don't want to be with him, he labels himself undesirable, and bitterly decides that the only guys getting girls are "a**h***s". Well, I know some "bad boys/jerks", and I know a few true bonafied a**h***s - and the a**h***s usually go home alone. If you ever met me, I'm sure you'd tell everyone I'm a very nice guy. I even had a nickname at one point as "Mr. Personality". Even so, I'm quick to disagree with someone, point out the obvious that others seem to be ignoring, I often refuse to partake in activities that do not have more to offer me than the alternatives in spite of who's going, I have been known to debate groups of people under the table in a lone stance of dissention, and I (as of recently) have found that I have great luck with women. I'm no jerk. I'm just not a pushover. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that you will have to learn this lesson the hard way, so I encourage your temporary foray into the land of being a jerk. Go ahead, watch as other's perception of you change. You'll notice one thing, at least. When you start acting like a jerk, people will stop feeling sorry for yourself. If your not friendly, they won't really want to have anything to do with you. You will get put in your place or just left behind. You don't have to insult people and act like a raging dickhead to get noticed. If you really want to get girls you've got to focus on the bigger picture and learn how to interact socially with people of both genders. Work on being more outgoing, and friendly, but not timid. Respect yourself, and demand respect and loyalty from others. People will respect and admire you for holding others to your standards without belittling them. Oh yeah, and if you still want to be an a**h***, have an amazing sense of humor. People will overlook just about any character flaw if you can have them laughing.
drgnflybethany Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 Originally posted by expos Nice Guys... - Don't get the girls they want - Never get the respect in long run - get there heart broken every single time I'm done being a nice, repectable, reliable, caring person. I'm becoming an a**h*** this year. End of message. I'm currently crushing harsh on an extremely nice guy... Reliable - giving... respectable.... smart... The only problem I've noticed with most nice guys is that they are also shy as all get out... and don't make moves until it's almost too late... I don't know what happened... and I'm sorry that some girl messed it up for the rest of us...
lost_in_chgo Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 Originally posted by lvgrl I know for a fact that out of all the guys that I have ever dated or been with while im with the a**h*** or even after its over..I think back of that one nice guy that was always there and how I wished I had that back.. Ever try? ahhh but that belongs in the seconds chances forum....
morrigan Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 Originally posted by drgnflybethany The only problem I've noticed with most nice guys is that they are also shy as all get out... and don't make moves until it's almost too late... Some nice guys tend to be more laid back and quiet--but some are outspoken and very funny. There's no law saying you can't ask an attractive man out to dinner--and most of them are very flattered. Nice, normal guys just don't go to extremes--they don't have that hangdog "I'm bound to be rejected," attitude about them, harasss a woman even after she has said no, or ogle and paw every female that comes into their line of vision.
WhereSpiritsRoam Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 Speaking personally, I have become a lot more abrasive this year. Since shedding the bulk of my "nice guy" attitude, my stock has shot through the roof. I know, the logic seems ridiculous, but it works. Fundamentally, I'm still a nice guy, but I won't take crap from anyone anymore and they know it. As long as you portray yourself as someone who refuses to become a doormat, your perceived value will only increase. I'm not saying be disrespectful to women, but don't go out of your way to be too nice, either. Nice guys don't finish last, they just are first to be pushed around. Don't be a push-over and you'll be fine. Hang in there, man.
lvgrl Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 Originally posted by lost_in_chgo Ever try? ahhh but that belongs in the seconds chances forum.... No reason to, once its over with a "nice" guy then its usually over. They dont tend to look back as much.
moimeme Posted July 6, 2005 Posted July 6, 2005 Hmmmmmm. How many of these 'born-again bastards' are married?????????????
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