cclemon Posted September 6, 2016 Posted September 6, 2016 So... long story short Quick first date happened in a bad place (40 minutes, college), first impressions were good, (no kiss, but a lot of chemistry). But then comes the screw up: Texted her 3 hours after the date. She said she liked me, so, I said I wanted to go out with her the next day in a "real" date (in a bar). She says I'm going too fast, but that she is glad because it's a signal that I liked her. We changed the subject and talked a little bit about other stuff until the conversation died. By doing it (invite her for a new date), I looked desperate and needy. I realised my mistake and backed off. We stop talking to each other for 4 days, since then. I don't know whether she isn't messaging me because I scared her by being needy or because she is waiting for me to initiate a conversation. Do you guys think it is better to keep in silence and waiting for her to come to me (and show that I'm not that needy) and then maybe try to invite her for another date. Or should I talk to her, so she doesn't think I lost interest on her just because she didn't want to go out with me that day? What's the right thing to do to clear the impression that I'm this needy guy (if there is a way)? I am sure she still liked me, so I don't want to screw up again. I'm not really that needy, I have other girls to date. But I want to learn how to handle a situation like this for future ocasions. Thanks!
JewelD Posted September 6, 2016 Posted September 6, 2016 It's not needy to ask for a second date. It's also not moving too fast. If this is a college aged girl and she said you were moving too fast just because you wanted to go out again, she's an idiot and probably not very interested in you anyway. You're not being needy. Don't wait around for this girl, move on to the next one. 2
Author cclemon Posted September 6, 2016 Author Posted September 6, 2016 It's not needy to ask for a second date. It's also not moving too fast. If this is a college aged girl and she said you were moving too fast just because you wanted to go out again, she's an idiot and probably not very interested in you anyway. You're not being needy. Don't wait around for this girl, move on to the next one. Yeah, I agree with you. But why would she even bother send me a voice whatsapp message saying she liked me (before I invite her)? And a new date one day after the first one is a little bit fast, isn't it? Thanks for the reply!
JewelD Posted September 6, 2016 Posted September 6, 2016 Yeah, I agree with you. But why would she even bother send me a voice whatsapp message saying she liked me (before I invite her)? And a new date one day after the first one is a little bit fast, isn't it? Thanks for the reply! Not if you like someone. Especially in college. You have more free time than people working a 9-5 or balancing their career and home. It's possible she liked/likes you, but that doesn't necessarily mean she wants to date you. She might just be playing the field like a lot of people do in college. Or it's possible she just wanted attention. 1
Ami1uwant Posted September 6, 2016 Posted September 6, 2016 Asking marriage after a first date is concern....asking about a second date, even if the next day is fine. 1
GemmaUK Posted September 6, 2016 Posted September 6, 2016 I don't think it was the asking for a date which resulted in her saying it was moving too fast. I'd say it was that you wanted to go on another date the next day - which is moving fast.
preraph Posted September 6, 2016 Posted September 6, 2016 Jeez, you young folks. When I was in college, no time was too fast. We made friends and boyfriends all in a night's work. 2
Author cclemon Posted September 6, 2016 Author Posted September 6, 2016 She is not that young, she is 21. She looks mature, she already works and has a busy life (those are some of the reasons I like her, I don't like lazybones). I am giving her a time to think and miss me. I am planning to text her this Thursday (if she doesn't text me before that) and ask her out again. I think she is worth this last attempt. Meanwhile, I am going after another girls, so I have other options and won't get sad if she doesn't want anything. Sounds like a good plan?
Bialy Posted September 6, 2016 Posted September 6, 2016 If she was into you, she would have accepted your offer for a second date the following day in a heartbeat. Instead, since she's not completely interested, she knocks you off your high by saying you're needy and "going too fast". That's kind of obnoxious. Definitely acting her age that's for sure -- 21. She's playing games or, worse yet, buys into dating rules.
leogirl876 Posted September 7, 2016 Posted September 7, 2016 If she was into you, she would have accepted your offer for a second date the following day in a heartbeat. Instead, since she's not completely interested, she knocks you off your high by saying you're needy and "going too fast". That's kind of obnoxious. Definitely acting her age that's for sure -- 21. She's playing games or, worse yet, buys into dating rules. True! Not that into you!!! A girl who's really into a guy will find many reasons to cut a guy slack and kinda help him date her. A girl who's not that into a guy will look for any reason to get rid of him, even make up reasons. I say move on from this girl!
Recommended Posts